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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/campfires/item_id/138661-The-Horror-at-Camp-Fnord
Rated: 18+ · Campfire Creative · Fiction · Teen · #138661
A few girls realize that Camp Fnord has more secrets than they thought...
[Introduction]
Lemmy, Navi, and Lei were excited to go to Camp Fnord! Until terrible things began to happen, and the girls learned some terrible secrets about their campsite...
Lemmy, Navi, and Lei stepped off the Fnord bus onto the fresh green grass at Camp Fnord! "Mmmmmmmm!" said Lei, as she inhaled the fresh air. "Finally, Camp Fnord!" "Ewwww...." replied Lemmy, "Don't act like it's so exciting, we've been forced to come here every summer since we were five." All of a sudden, Navi started making funny gestures, jumping up and down, and grunting a bit. "Oh great!" screeched Lei. "It's Navi, the mute cebu. Why does she always have to be here?!?!?! Ugh!!!" Navi began to drool heavily, slobber dripping down her chin. Lei resisted the urge to vomit. Then, a look of horror overcame Navi's mute face. Navi gestured in Lemmy's direction. Startled, Lemmy spun around and gasped, only to find herself facing......
All of a sudden, Navi jumped backwards in fright, as the lump of cheese began to vibrate. It quivered and shook until it began to grow, and grew until it was almost as large as Richard. "Oh my," he said to the cheese, "We're going to have to work some of the flub off those thighs." The cheese peered at him unscrupulously, seeing as how it was technically thighless. Lei peered at the cheese unscrupulously, wondering how the cheese had managed to pull off such a complicated facial expression without a face. Lei pondered long and hard, and came to the conclusion that she wanted to be just like the cheese. She stood very still, and tried to make excellently subtle facial expressions without moving... all the while concentrating on turning orange. She was sure it was working, but then....
"...a 4'1" tall person that weighs about 365 pounds, with bald hair and a small moustache on your upper lip. Geez, how did I not see that before?" Navi drooled a bit, still thinking back to her former cebu-ness. "I wish she'd stop glowing," said Lei, "She reminds me of the meatloaf my mom makes sometimes." Navi wrinkled her nose in revulsion. Suddenly, she shadow in the doorway sneezed, startling the girls. They all whipped around to see who or what it was, and were horrified to discover that...
"....gave Navi those funny hair removal pills, which is what turned her into a cebu in the first place, and she sued us, and when we got out of jail that man picked us up out of the car and he bought us lunch but he turned out to be working for the government and then he blew a tire and we ran off while he was fixing it and hitchhiked till a little old lady picked us up in her old hovercraft and we went to the moon for icecream and that little green dude abducted us and took us to the circus where we were forced to wash the elephants till my mom noticed we were missing at camp and brought us back here!!!!" Lemmy gasped in horror at Lei's recollection of last years events. "No, doofus!" she said "Not that!" Lemmy fainted... "Oh my..." said Lei. Suddenly, Navi had a revelation...
"You are so dumb!" Lemmy replied. "We dont have to kill some hick farmer just because the cebu is having self-image problems." Lei was ashamed of her own foolish idea, and sat down in the corner to cry. Lemmy was now stuck with two wailing bunk-mates. She was annoyed beyond imagination. She screamed and pulled out some of her hair, then left the room to go find the camp Mess Hall. She cavorted happily across the campground, when suddenly she tripped over something and sprawled onto the ground. "Owwww...." she whined. She sat up, and gasp as she saw she had tripped over...
"MMMMMMMMM ahhhh! Eeeeeeeeeek!" and flapped her arms. This was cebu-ese for "OMG a freakish orange wearing hotpants tried to kill Lemmy and her arm is sorta hurt now!!!" But the operator understood none of this, and Navi hung up the phone, certain that an ambulance was on it's way. Meanwhile, back inside, Lei and Lemmy had forgotten about the murders. Lei was playing checkers with the orange in hotpants. "Dammit!" she yelled at the orange. "You always win!" The orange snickered with glee, and began a game with Lemmy. Navi was horrified. This orange was 100% aevil, and they were just going to play checkers with it?!?! Navi knew this was the time for action. She grabbed a golf club from behind her back and...
"You'll let me have a bite when it's done, right?" Navi nodded emphatically. Lemmy however was very angry to be fingerless, and promptly gave the mouse a good boot. The mouse flew threw the air and landed and Navi's furry cebu head. Squeaking in fright, the mouse took a huge chunk out of Navi's ear. Navi wailed feebly and flailed her arms. All of a sudden, Patty Poundcake, (aka the Orange in Hot Pants) came bouncing up the hill. It stopped, then looked at the 2 girls, cebu, and mouse. Then its eyes eerily rolled back into it's head (or peel anyway) and it began to speak in a throaty and deep aevil voice. "Naaaavu...." it said. "I am your father...." Everyone gasped in unison! Patty Poundcake was really a cebu! Navi was so startled, that she...
...something lurking behind Lei and Lemmy.... something Lei and Lemmy didn't see! Oh my goodness! It was Patty Poundcake, poised perfectly behind Lemmy and Lei, a club outstretched in her hand, preparing to knock out Lei and Lemmy, surely causing their destruction! The cebus all turned, and being led by Navi, (an old friend of Lei and Lemmy) the cebus charged at Patty Poundcake, and trampled her to death, causing everyone to be sprayed with orange juice. "Quick!" Lei shouted, "Save the juice! We can make Orange Julius's later!!!" Lei began to scamper around trying to get the orange juice out of the grass. Lemmy approached the cebus. "Greetings friends", she said, in perfected cebuese. "We thank you for saving our lives. Would you like to join us back at camp?" The cebus all nodded their head, and Lei, Lemmy, and the herd began walking back to camp. They had just reached the outside of the bunkhouses, when all of a sudden....
...horrified as she felt her own life being sucked out of her! And being transferred into the new cebu, for reproduction purposes. "Muahahaaaaaa!" shrieked Lei, as her new cebu began to rise. "I shall call him Frankencebu!" Lemmy rolled her eyes with the last bit of strength she had left and croaked out "Ohhh.... thats..... original......." before slipping away completely. A silence filled the room (except for the occasional snorting of the new cebu). Navi began to snuffle. "Lemmy..." she said. "Lemmy is dead! Oh my God, Lei! You killed Lemmy! You bastard!" Lei was somewhat insulted by this. "I did this for you, you ungrateful little whelp!" I created a mate for you!" "Yeah, but look what it cost us! Our dear, dear friend Lemmy! Her tragic last words, 'Oh, how original' will be forever burned into my heart and memory. I shall never forget my Lemmy, who's life was sucked away by a cruel and aevil friend who cared more about money and saving the cebus from extinction than her own good friend." Lei suddenly began to feel a great deal of remorse for her actions. Once the consequences of what she'd done began to sink in, she started to sob. "Oh, forgive me, forgive me Lemmy! I wish there was something we could do to bring you back! I wish... I wish..... OH!!! I know what we can do! Navi! I need your help, we have to....
....Hide her body and pretend it never happened. So Lei, Lemmy and Navi threw her body into a local river, and tried to act very casual about it all. When anyone asked where Zeres was (which was very, very rare) they just shrugged and said they didn't know. Pretty soon, Zeres was forgotten. Forgotten by everyone except Patty Poundcake, (the now infamous orange in hot pants) who was mourning the loss of her good friend. Patty's mourning soon turned into rage however, and she decided to seek revenge upon those who had hidden her body. She hatched an aevil, aevil plan... carefully, she plotted their destruction. When all was ready, she gathered the supplies she needed (which oddly included 2 bent nails and an empty pizza box) and headed for the girls' cabin. Unfortunately for her, before she could get there, she....

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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/campfires/item_id/138661-The-Horror-at-Camp-Fnord