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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/campfires/item_id/1491453-The-Girl-in-the-Pyramid
Rated: 13+ · Campfire Creative · Novella · Action/Adventure · #1491453
A mysterious girl journalist opens a door to other dimensions
[Introduction]
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Was Suzy the young female journalist she appeared to be?
Or was she part of a supernatural mystery set into motion during the dawn of human history?


Part One: The Annoying Mummy

"So this is Egypt!" Suzy thought, as her airplane landed. "I can't wait to see the pyramids!"

After settling into her hotel and unpacking, Suzy changed into khaki shorts and shirt, slung her camera over her arm, slipped her mini-laptop in her belt pack, and headed for the Cairo Museum. First stop: Interview with Professor Hutchins.

The Professor was bald with abushy white beard. "Welcome to Egypt, Suzy!"

"Thanks, Professor. What's this I hear about a mummy terrorizing the neighborhood?"

"Shocking, my dear! The tourists are afraid to go in the pyramid. This mummy walks around like Frankenstein with his arms out and making weird sounds."

"You've actually seen the mummy?"

The Professor shrugged. "No, but I haven't been looking. Are you going to the pyramid now to look for it?"

"Sure!" Suzy smiled her big trrademark Suzy Swift smile. "I want to see this thing for myself."

Three hours later...

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"There goes another one," Suzy's guide, Ibrahim, observed. Suzy twisted the focus on her binoculars and saw a middle-aged woman in shorts and an I *Heart* Egypt t-shirt come sprinting out of the pyramids, followed shortly by her pudgy husband. Ibrahim chuckled. "Silly tourists always wanting to see mummy. Always getting scared when Hmenhotep rises. What they thinking--Hmenhotep VI is man in costume playing joke? Heh-heh. Heh-heh."

"Heh-heh," Suzy echoed, but her mind was racing at a million miles per hour, wondering what she could pull out of this experience. "Excuse me," she said quickly. "I'm just going to talk to that woman, alright? I'll be right back."

"No problem, madam," Ibrahim called. "Watch for rocks. Loose in hillside--"

"OUCH!" (pause while rocks and Suzy tumbled down the side of the slope) "Erm, what did you say, Ibrahim?"

"Never mind, madam, never mind."

Suzy rubbed her ankle and set off.

A couple of minutes into the walk, Suzy caught sight of the couple panting, apparently exhausted, by an empty souvenir stand. "Excuse me!" she called, racing towards them and tripping a couple of times, too. "Excuse me! Excuse me!"

The woman turned towards her and scowled. "Whaddya want, girl?"

Ouch. Honestly, did she look that young? Suzy slowed her pace, walking the last few metres and practically crawling in slow-motion for the final two feet. She didn't really like the look of these people, but hey, a journalist's gotta do what a journalist's gotta do and that was what Suzy was planning on: interviewing these two about the mummy of Hmenhotep VI.

"My name is Suzy Swift," she began, "and I'm representing a major international newspaper. What do you have to say about this mummy?"

The woman spat a wad of chewing tobacco on the ground. "This here mummy is an outrage. They said all them mummies was dead! So why is this Hymenoptera fellow walking around? I almost peed my pants."

"That's right!" her husband said. "If I'd had my shotgun I would have killed it. Except it's already dead. Something ain't right there."

Suzy sensed Ibrahim, her guide, by her side. "Excuse please. Soon pyramid close for night. You want go inside?"

"Sure!" Suzy said. "Let's take a look!"

The two tourists watched Suzy and her guide enter the pyramid. "There goes one foolish girl," the woman said.

The man pounded his fists together. "If I had my shot gun I'd kill that thing."

Suzy paused at the entrance to the pyramid. A shiver ran down her back. "Be brave," she told herself. "A journalist must walk into danger with courage."

Stepping into the pyramid was easy, but getting around was not.

"No step there," Ibrahim advised her, pointing at the floor. Suzy pointed her flashlight at the indicated spot and caught a fleeting glance of a dish-sized spider before it scuttled out of the limelight. Walking into danger she could do. But walking ON to danger?

Suzy shuddered.

"And no step here," Ibrahim added. Suzy didn't bother shining the light and just hopped over the patch of floor. Ibrahim chuckled and kept on walking.

And walking.

And walking.

Finally--when Suzy's feet had long since lost all feeling--Ibrahim paused, just outside the beam of her flashlight. Suzy leaned against the wall and tried to appreciate the irony of having her left foot go to sleep in the chamber of eternal sleep, but somehow it just didn't seem quite funny. Especially not when Ibrahim murmured, "This chamber where Hmenhotep VI sleep. Where mummy wake up each night."

"When?" Suzy croaked. Her tongue felt dryer than the Dead Sea Scrolls and the flashlight was suddenly cold in her hands.

Ibrahim pulled a pocket watch out of his pocket--the old-fashioned type, most commonly seen in Alice in Wonderland reenactments and Industrial Revolution dioramas. "I think... mummy come out..."

Something moved in the chamber darkness.

"Mummy come NOW!" Ibrahim yelped. Dropping his lantern he turned and he fled, leaving Suzy stranded before the monster approaching. Step... step... step...

Closer. A little closer. Somethind dripped on Suzy's neck and she resisted the urge to scream, succeeding in the way most people succeed in restraining wild horses or putting children to bed--that is, with great difficulty.

Closer. Step... step...

One more step, Suzy promised herself. Then I can scream.

But then the steps stopped. And a lantern shone bright into her face.

"Hello there," the lantern-holder said.

"H-h-h-hi," Suzy stuttered, backing up against the wall. The supposed mummy was bandageless and dressed in old-style archaeological clothes--khaki everything and a pith helmet. And looked strangely fresh. If Hmenhotep VI had been dead for a thousand years he probably would not have been smelling of candle wax and scrambled eggs.

"You're not H-H-Hmenhotep's m-m-m-mummy, are you?" she choked out. Too scared to ask. Too journalistic not to. And too human to suppress her curiosity.

The man chuckled. "Of course not. The name's Steve Ellen. And who are you?"

"I'm Suzy Swift, girl jounalist. What are YOU doing here?"

"I'm a pyramid inspector. We had reports something's not right here."

"You mean... the mummy that scares people?"

"What mummy?"

Suzy frowned. "Isn't that why you are here?"

"Uh... no. We got a report that there was water seeping in and flooding the lower chambers. Kind of unbelievable, really, since this is the desert, but I thought I better check."

Suzy grabbed his arm. "But they say there is a mummy - specifically Hmenhotep IV - wandering around in here scaring people..."

Steve unpried Suzy's hand from his arm. "Surely you don't believe nonsense like that?"

"I don't know," Suzy said. "Can I go with you when you check the lower chamber?"
"No problemo," Steve said, holding the lantern aloft. "Off we go!"

"Yeah, off we go," Suzy echoed, trailing behind him. Together the pair ventured deep into the belly of the pyramid, where flaking paint and heart-attack-causing puddles testified to the strange invasion of water. Amazing, Suzy thought. A pyramid in the middle of the desert and it's flooding. Could there be more significance to this than Steve thinks?

"Whoa there!" Steve shouted suddenly, jolting Suzy out of her daze. The soft glow of the lantern picked out an intricately decorated wall standing smack bang in their path--a pretty dead end, but a dead end nevertheless. Something started gnawing at Suzy's stomach.

"Dead end," she whispered unnecessarily as Steve stepped forwards to run his hands over the hieroglyphs. "Dead end. Dead end."

"Please stop muttering that," Steve grumbled, still absorbed. "It unsettles me whenever somebody says "dead"."

"Dead...! Dead...!"

Steve looked back, puzzled. "I thought I told you to stop saying that!"

Suzy practically snarled at him. "I DID stop! That's not me!"

That's not me, that's not me, that's not me. Her words echoed in the tunnel. A tunnel which--as an ominous shuffling noise began to emanate from faraway--they were, apparently, not alone in.

"The mummy," Suzy choked, and sank to the ground.

Steve hesitated for one second. And then insticts honed from a lifetime of dodging police officers and hoodlums (sometimes both at the same time) in the gritty streets of Lowtown kicked in. "Come on," he said, grabbing her arm and pulling her up. "We have to leave. Now. Come ON!"

Numbly Suzy followed him, her body in high gear, her mind on standby. She was hardly conscious as Steve ran through corridor after corrider, turn after turn, eerie chamber after eerie chamber. Finally he slowed down--stopped--said something that cannot be reprinted here. "Back again," she heard him say. "Come on, come on! There's got to be a way out of this blasted--"

"Dead...! Dead...!"

Steve jumped. Suzy slumped. The voice was coming closer.

"Excellent," Steve fumed, scared out of his wits but still capable of the higher function of sarcasm. "Stuck in a pyramid with a walking mummy and an incapacitated kid reporter. How will I get out of this one?"

This had to be worse than the time his ship got overrun with rats, or even that time when he fell off a skyscraper with nothing but a blanket and a hairdryer. Both of those times he had walked away unscathed. But neither occurrences had involved the supernatural.

Just then, the mummy made a swift right turn and came into Steve's field of vision.

Suzy awoke. She sat up quickly. What the-? She was alone in a chamber deep in the bowels of the pyramid. Ewww, she thought. Bowels.

But where was Steve? Her eyes flew open. And where was the mummy? She whirled around thinking it might be nearby, then fell over from the dizziness.

"Got to stop doing that," she mumbled, then in a slightly louder voice: "Steve? Steve? Where are you, Steve? Did the Mummy get you?"

That would be funny if he answered yes, she thought, then started giggling. Not her usual cute girl giggling but something more disturbing, something more like someone giggling because they are so frightened they don't know what else to do. Someone giggling because they are on the edge of hysteria and are about to experience total mental collapse.

"I am not!" Suzy shouted. "I am not one of those girls who falls apart whenever anything scary happens!" There was a tiny rustling noise in the chamber and Suzy slumped to the floor in a faint.

* * *

Steve awoke. He sat up quickly. What the-? He was alone in a chamber deep in the bowels of the pyramid. Bowels? He realized he hadn't done his business lately. He hated to spoil the floor of a sacred tomb. Besides, there was no toilet paper. Forget it. Nature's call could wait. OMG! he thought. Wasn't there a girl journalist with me? What happened to Suzy?

From far down the hall he heard the echoes of mocking laughter - mwahahaha! haha! haha! - and he clenched his fists. That damn mummy! Steve ran down the hallway after the sounds, but always the echoes of laughter seemed to be a little farther away.

* * *

Suzy awoke. My head hurts, she thought. Then she heard the sound of running footsteps and evil laughter. She clenched her fists. "Don't slump! Please don't slump!" she told herself.
Steve picked up the pace. The laughter was close now--closer--closer... WHAM! He rounded the bend, hit something musty, and fell. THUNK!
Pith helmets sound beautiful against solid limestone, but rattling brains do not. Steve's eyes closed and he fell asleep and dreamed disturbed little dreams of stuffed dolls wrapped in toilet paper crowding him into submission. Go away! dream-Steve shouted. Go AWAY!

On the cold stone floor of Hmenhotep's tomb, Steve shifted restlessly and kept on dreaming.

* * *

Be brave, Suze, Suzy thought, gripping her flashlight like a baseball bat. She held it high over her head and waited at a convenient little corner just steps away from the one she had woken up in. The footsteps pattered closer--closer--closer... WHAM! Something rounded the bend, Suzy brought the flashlight down, and staggered away. THUNK! The resounding crack of pith helmet against tomb floor turned her stomach around. "Steve!" she choked.

On the cold stone floor of Hmenhotep's tomb, Steve shifted restlessly and kept on dreaming.

* * *

It took him a while to wake up. Finally--after clapping her hands in front of his face fifteen times and accidentally squishing his nose once, Steve stirred. Suzy huffed.

"Go away," Steve mumbled. The girl blinked.

"Steve, wake up," she said, shaking his shoulder. "Wake up!"

"Too... toilet paper... coffee..." Steve murmured, and rolled over.

Say that again, Suzy thought, scooting closer. Again.

Steve obliged with a "Too early, Mommy... I'm running out of toilet paper... I need my coffee..."

Weird, Suzy thought, and then she shook him again. Harder. Steve awoke with a grumble that faded away when he saw Suzy's face.

"Aagh," he said, pulling himself upright. "Splitting headache. Have you seen the mummy?"

Before Suzy could reply, another voice floated down the corridor. "Have you seen the waaaaaateeeeeerrr? Heee heeee heeeee!"

The water investigator glanced at the girl journalist. No slumping, he noted. Quite good. Then he turned back to the matter at hand and was quite unpleasantly surprised to see water snaking its way into their chamber. Lots of it. Lots and lots. Before he had a chance to collect his wits, his ankles were soaked and Suzy looked like she was going to pass out and drown in the steadily rising flood.

"Amazing," Steve noted. "Water really is seeping in."

Suzy grabbed his arm. "Can we think about that later?"

"Agreed," Steve agreed, and the pair began to run--or to slosh--or, as the water reached waist-height, to wade out of the corridor and perhaps into a safer haven.

Or perhaps into the hands of the mummy. Heeeeeeee heeeeee heeeeeeeeeeee... Just the memory of that laugh made both our adventurers' hairs stand on end.

"Is your hair standing on end?" Steve said.

"Like an Indian rope climber's rope!" Suzy exclaimed. "I'm so glad I wear it short. Can you imagine if I had long hair? Why.. it would be touching the ceiling. Wouldn't that be odd?"

"Enough about the hair. The water is up to our waists and getting deeper. I don't know how we're going to avoid drowning."

"Oh, Steve! I don't want to drown!"

"That's a natural reaction."

"But what are we going to do?"

"Swim?"

"Good idea, Steve!"

Steve and Suzy swam down the long underground corridor until they arrived at some stone steps. At the top of the steps was a golden idol of Craal, the frog-headed god.

"Looks like a special place," Steve said.

Suzy stared at the frog-headed god. "Steve! I think the eyeballs are buttons!"

"Really?" Steve pushed in an eyeball. A section of the stone wall slid slowly aside with a grating noise.

"It's a secret chamber!" Suzy said. "This is great! I hope my camera still works."

The two adventurers entered the chamber and Suzy's flash recorded what they saw. She lowered the camera. "What is this, Steve? it doesn't look very ancient Egyptian."

"It looks like a modern rec room," Steve said. "Look, there's a pool table and there's a big screen TV."

Suddenly an insane cackle came cackling through the walls.

"Oh, Steve!" Suzy said and almost slumped.

"Don't slump, Suzy!" Steve held Suzy up while her eyes flickered between consciousness and blackout.

"I'm okay now," she said. "That hideous cackle. It sounded like a maniac, Steve. The kind that carries a big knife or a chainsaw."

"I know what you mean. I've seen the movies. Well, we can't get out of here through that water-filled corridor. Maybe there is a phone in this room..."









"No phone," Suzy said. She frowned.

"Noooooo phoooone!" somebody wheezed behind her, rounding off the macabre echo with another bout of the insane cackle. The pair had time to see a heavily bandaged humanoid convulse in laughter before the door slammed shut. Suzy blinked, exhaled, and slumped. Steve clapped his palm to his forehead and--after dragging the unconscious girl journalist to a safer spot--started tapping on the walls for a convenient way out.

A couple of minutes passed, and Suzy woke up. "Ugh," she mumbled, cradling her head in her hands. "Ugh ugh ugh."

Steve was still tapping. "Well next time, maybe if you TRIED to stay conscious you could--"

Just then he tapped a panel. The wrong panel. The very, very wrong panel.

*ka-BOOM!*

* * *

Half a mile away, a group of nomads in the desert got the fright of their lives when two pale strangers--a girl and a man--fell from the sky into their encampment.
According to some children who had seen the two arrive, they had landed on some tents, bounced off, and walked away into the night. Nobody was harmed, although the strong musty smell pervading the landing site did take several days to go away.

Steve and Suzy trudged along in silence. After a while Suzy said, "I don't know why you're angry at me. YOU are the one who tapped the wall and set off the bomb."

Steve frowned. "Aw, I'm not mad at you. I'm just mad at myself for being so dumb. It's the first thing they teach you in pyramid inspecting school - don't go randomly tapping the walls, they could be booby-trapped."

"At least we weren't killed."

"No. That's something to be thankful for. It's not often that two people get blown a half mile through the air and suffer no injuries."

"So are we going back inside?" Suzy said.

"Of course! I want to get to the bottom of this. Don't you?"

"I don't know," Suzy said. "I have a lot of bruises from all that slumping."

"But you're a girl journalist! Danger is your life!"

"Uh... yeah... I guess so. Although I pictured my life more as jet planes, exotic places, handsome strangers, adoring fans, nice clothes..."

"Yeah, yeah, I was the same way when I graduated from pyramid inspecting school."

Suzy snickered. Steve said, "What?"

Suzy grinned. "It's just you keep saying pyramid inspecting school. I never heard of a school like that."

"Oh yeah? Well it exists and I graduated on the honor roll."

"Okay, okay. I didn't mean to make fun of your diploma. Oh look! We're almost back to the pyramid."
"We are. This is actually a stroke of good luck for once. What could go wrong?" Steve said. Suzy blanched.

"Never say that!" she said, angry. "Because whenever someone says that you know for sure that--"

"Suzy!" Steve shouted, but then the dust storm hovering on the horizon kicked into high gear and separated them. Steve's eyes were watering like a watering can from all that sand kicking around, but he scraped as much out of his eyeballs as possible and kept on looking for his fellow adventurer. "SUZY!" he bellowed. "SUZY!"

No answer.

"SUZY!"

No answer.

Steve moved forward, but the wind blew him back. Once he'd battled past the wind then there was the sand to deal with. And once he got out of the way of that, he somehow managed to trip over a camel--lying down with its eyes shut to keep out the worst of the dust devil--bang into a palm tree, and thoroughly annoy the camel's driver before he decided that just sitting down and covering his face with his helmet would be the best course to take.

I came here to look for water, not to get pounded by a sandstorm! he thought.

Then he got his wish by being doused in water--the nomad who tossed the bucket apologized profusely, but Steve remained unconvinced long after his headdress had flapped away into the distance.

This is really not my day, he sighed.

* * *

It took a while for the dust storm to clear. And when it did, Suzy was nowhere to be found.

"Suzy!" Steve bellowed. He looked down as he trudged through the sand, and nearly bumped into the pyramid. Rubbing his head he realized that his steps had been taking him towards where it all started. Ah, Suzy... Moving as though in a trance, Steve groped his way round the east side, stopping at the entrance. Not because he was scared, but because there was something carved into the previously pristine stone door.

In scratchy handwriting (or handcarving as the case may be)

iF you want to sEe little suzy agAIN
THen leave this pYramiD and never Come back


"Does this sound fishy to you too?" Steve wondered aloud, to nobody in particular. "Leave the pyramid and she'll come back? I think not!"
And so without an ounce of hesitation--but perhaps with a dozen milligrams of fear--Steve kicked open the door and ventured inside.

Right inside the doorway was another handcarved message.

DoN't yOu geT it, dUde?
StaY aWay or tHe giRL diEs!


"Hmmph!" Steve said. "Probably some kids playing Halloween pranks." He tramped down the long stone corridors calling out Suzy's name. "Suuuuu-zeeeeee! Where arrrrrre you?"

Finally, after an eternity of tramping through long stone corridors, Steve arrived at the lower flooded section. He swam to the stone steps, climbed them, pushed the eyeball buttons of the frog-headed god, Craal, waited for the wall to slide open, and once again entered the plush modern rec room. Suzy was at the pool table practicing her shots.

"Oh, hi, Steve," she said. "What took you so long?"

"How did you get here so fast?"

"I went around back and walked in the hole that the explosion tore in the wall. It makes a nifty short cut. I'm surprised you didn't take it seeing as how you're such a super pyramid inspector and all."

Steve rolled his eyes. "Yeah... well..."

"Steve!" Suzy said. "Let's play pool."

"I don't know- Hey! Wait a minute! Do you see the connection?"

"Uh... no?"

"Pool? Water? Rec room? I'll bet someone was trying to buiild a swimming pool down here and it sprung a leak or something."

Suzy put down the pool stick. "But Steve, why is all this down here in the first place? And what's the deal with the mummy?"

"Ah, you've put your finger on the mystery, haven't you?"

Suzy looked at her finger. "Should I wash it off?"

"No, let's keep our fingers on the mystery because I have a third one - someone has been handcarving poorly capitalized messages around the entrance to the pyramid."

"Ooooooo, what did they say?"

"That I should stay out of the pyramid or you would be killed."

Suzy stared at Steve for a long moment as her eyes grew large and her hair stood on end again. "Steve! That's horrifying!"

"Don't worry, I'll protect you."

"Uh... right... that makes me feel so much better."
A quick moment passed and then Suzy asked, "But who'll protect you?"

Steve had to think a moment. "I don't know," he said, finally. "You?"

Suzy beamed. The hair came down. That in itself made Steve a little less nervous, but he was a little pleased too to see how seriously the kid was taking this.

"Alright," he said. "I'll watch your back and you watch mine. Agreed?"

Suzy frowned. "If I watch your back you won't be able to see mine. How will that work?"

He groaned. "That was a metaphor, Suzy. A metaphor."

"Oh. Right. I get it. Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go solve this mystery!"

They waded out into the hallway, swam for the nearest exposed corridor, and climbed out sopping wet. "Don't worry about it," Steve said, noting Suzy's expression. "The pyramid'll dry 'em off. It's like a giant AC in here. Minus the cold."

"Like a giant fridge, you mean. Minus the cold. Have you heard the stories about how model pyramids kept fresh food fresh for longer than any other storage container? Or how they could sharpen knives and razor blades? That's so cool. Do you think we will be kept fresh inside here?"

"Suzy, about the knives thing..."

"Oh. Oh yeah. Sorry. It's just that when I'm stressed I talk a lot. But you've probably figured that out by now, huh?"

Steve pulled a face and kept on walking. Suzy kept quiet after that.

After a while of tramping through a plethora of seemingly identical stone corridors, Suzy dared to raise her voice again. "Do you even know where we're going?"

Steve didn't even bother to look back. "Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"Alright then Mr. Pyramid Inspector I-Graduated-On-The-Honour-Roll, where exactly are we going?"

"To the inner burial chamber. Where the mummy is. Don't you know that?"

Suzy stuck out her lip. "You're after water. Not mummified kings. Care to explain the sudden leap in expertise?"

Steve didn't answer, but then again he didn't have to, because right then and there the old and abused lantern flickered, sputtered, and burnt right out.

Suzy: "Damn! What will we do now?"

"Be quiet!" Steve whispered. "I heard something."

From somewhere in the darkness came a tiny sound. "It sounds like a finger bone tied to a string being dragged across old stone," Steve said.

"That's so specific," Suzy said. "How can you be sure?"

"In pyramid inspecting school we had a lab in bone and stone sounds."

Suzy snickered. "What?" Steve said.

"Nothing. I'm scared, Steve. Why would someone be dragging a fingerbone tied to a string?"

"To scare us."

"Well, it's working."

Steve hugged Suzy. "Don't slump," he whispered.

Suzy slumped. She woke up a few seconds later with Steve patting her cheek. "Are you okay?"

"Yes," she said, "But please don't say that word. I think I've become sensitized just to the very thought of-"

"Don't think it!" Steve warned, but it was too late. She slumped again.

Steve was going to pat her cheek again but a new sound came to his ears, a thin high wailing that seemed to be saying something... Something like... I warned you not to enter the pyramid. I warned you. Now something awful is going to happen. I warned youuuuu...

Steve was glad Suzy didn't hear it. Maybe he shouldn't wake her. Maybe he should face the awfulness alone. Noooo. He patted Suzy's cheek. "Wake up!" he whispered. "Wake up!"
Suzy didn't wake up. Steve quaked in his khaki boots. The finger-bone-tied-to-a-string-being-dragged-across-old-stone kept dragging itself closer.

And closer...

And closer...

Steve quaked a little more. Suzy kept right on sleeping.

Steve let his fingers drag lightly across Suzy's face and whispered in her ear: "Spider!"
Suzy jumped up so quickly--flailing her arms like a deranged windmill and kicking as if her life depended on it--that Steve got a fist in the nose and went down fast. "Steve!" Suzy exclaimed, once she had calmed down enough to remember how to speak coherently. "Steve, I'm so sorry, I had an awful dream, there was a spider running across my face..."

Steve grunted and rubbed his olfactory organ.

"Ve bedder ged moving," he said, finally. "Dat mummy mighd be here zoon." Immediately he regretted his word choice. Suzy's eyelids flickered momentarily before apparently deciding to stay open, and Steve breathed a sigh of relief.

Suzy looked sadly at Steve. "Steve, why do I slump so often? It seems like I spend half my life keeled over in a faint."

"I don't know. Maybe it has something to do with the very first time it ever happened to you. Do you remember that experience?"
Suzy concentrated for a minute. Then she grabbed Steve's arm, her eyes bigger than the smarting sensation he got as she jabbed his humerus. "Steve!" she cried. "There's this voice in my head that's telling me things!"

"A voice?"

"It's--it's telling me--"

She froze midsentence, mouth hanging open like a Disney cartoon, as another voice--older, stranger, sadder--came floating out of her, telling of a recent event...

...Numbly Suzy followed him, her body in high gear, her mind on standby. She was hardly conscious as Steve ran through corridor after corrider, turn after turn, eerie chamber after eerie chamber. Finally he slowed down--stopped--said something that cannot be reprinted here. "Back again," she heard him say. "Come on, come on! There's got to be a way out of this blasted--"

"Dead...! Dead...!"

Steve jumped. Suzy slumped. The voice was coming closer.

"Excellent," Steve fumed, scared out of his wits but still capable of the higher function of sarcasm. "Stuck in a pyramid with a walking mummy and an incapacitated kid reporter. How will I get out of this one?"


Suzy clapped her hands over her mouth, extinguishing the voice. "Did you HEAR that?" she demanded (in her normal voice), amazed. "Did you frickin HEAR that??"

Steve stared at Suzy. Had she gone stark raving mad? "Listen, kid," he said. "Do you feel all right? Now I'm beginning to think you might NEED to slump occasionally. It may be part of a natural healing process that helps keep you sane."

Suzy's eyes grew wide as saucers and she jumped back. "Not sane? Not sane? Why do you say that? Why? Why?" Suzy was shaking like a leaf.

"Okay, okay, calm down," Steve said. "Everything is going to be-"

"STAY AWAY FROM ME! YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!"
Steve gaped at her. Even for Suzy, this was a little over the top.

"Suzy. Suzy! Listen to me!"

Instead of listening, Suzy screamed--a horrible high-pitched wailing that rattled his eardrums and froze his marrow into a disgusting approximation of ice cream. Steve scrunched himself into a ball and jammed his fists into his ears to block out the worst of her caterwauling. But when the ringing stopped and he opened his eyes, the girl journalist was nowhere to be found.

Awesome! Nuts and loose. She might as well be armed, Steve grumbled to himself. And then he froze. Something was missing. Bad missing. Very, very bad missing.

Steve dropped to one knee and shimmied his hand into his boot. When his fingers grasped nothing but anklebone, he let out a groan that could've shaken the foundations of Hmenhotep's tomb. "Dammit! My Swiss knife. She must've taken it! Dammit dammit dammit!"

And then, "Oh, there's some gum on my shoe. Strange. What is gum doing in a pyramid? Better pry it loose before it accumulates a thousand years' worth of dust." He bent his head and pried at the gum with his fingers.

WHAP!

Something hit the wall a fraction of an inch above his head. What the--? Steve looked up, into the shadows, and caught sight of a fleeing form. "SUZY!" He broke into a sprint, leaving no trace of himself behind in that corner save a wad of gum and a lethal-sized chunk of pyramid stone, dented from impact.

Suzy pumped her arms as she ran. Her breath came in deep rasping gulps of air. Must keep running... Must keep running... The dust rose around here as she ran down corridors untouched by human feet for a thousand years. She began to hear the tinkle of bells, the sound of gentle laughter. There was a light ahead and she ran into it and burst out into a garden.

There was a tall man on a golden chair. He was surrounded by male slaves and dancing girls. On his chest was a huge golden necklace filled with precious gems.

"Daddy!" Suzy shouted.

The man stood up. "Come to me, first born daughter of the Great Pharoah Hmenhotep IV. You are my favorite child."

Suzy ran to her father's side.

* * *

Steve followed Suzy through the pyramid. Her running feet left clear prints in the dust. Where is she going, Steve, thought, and how can she run so fast in the dark? It's like she knows this pyramid as well as her own home.
His own footprints mingled with hers, making it look like they had danced a complicated tango at about ten miles per hour. A complicated tango which seemed to involve stepping on the other person as much as possible, but since Steve wasn't exactly a stellar dancer at normal speeds, this wasn't entirely unexpected.

Unlike the pursued, Steve had to stop and catch his breath a couple of times. It was at one of these impromptu breathers that he noticed Suzy's footprints going... and going... and then suddenly gone. Just gone. Disappeared. Kaput. Over with. Steve held back a sudden rush of emotion, barring it behind a wall of pyramid investigating expertise he called upon to determine Suzy's last motions.

Five minutes later, he had his approximations.

First she was running (as she had been for the past two hundred metres). Then she slowed. Then she sped up. Then she avoided a nasty stain, hurdled over some bricks, hopped skipped and jumped into--nowhere. Because her footprints disappeared after that. How strange.

Steve knelt by the last footprint. He didn't know what to do. Ever since he'd run into Suzy, his actions were angled towards one of two goals: 1. get Suzy out of trouble, or 2. find the mummy. Now he could cross out #1. Somehow, the notion of not ever having to dig Suzy from a tough spot made him feel a little lonely.

Ah well. No use in moping over lost friends. Steve stood up, and tapped his pith helmet. "Bye, Suzy," he said. "Sure hope you're OK, but there's nothing more I can do." And with a heavy sigh, he turned back with the intention of retracing his steps outta the pyramids and maybe into a nice hotel room in central Cairo. But just as he passed the nasty stain--

"STEVE! WAIT! DON'T GO!"

Steve froze. That voice! Wasn't that his old schoolteacher Mister Lewis?

"STEVE! WHERE IS PAGE TWO OF YOUR HOMEWORK?"

It was definitely the voice of Mister Lewis. Steve whirled around but could see no one. Spooky old pyramid. Steve tiptoed down the hallway. Suddenly the voice was right by his ear: "Steve? Where are you going?"

Steve screamed and started running, arms pumping, feet flapping. WHAM! Just before he lost consciousness he had a brief moment to congratulate himself for running smack into a stone wall.

* * *
"Steve? Are you alright?"

Steve opened one eye. It was Suzy! He opened the other eye. Where was he? Suzy was wearing some crazy costume with lots of jewels. She looked like some kind of princess. Other girls were standing around with fans. And who was the tall man wearing a necklace? Steve tried to sit up.

"Just relax, Steve. You have a nasty lump on your head. You ran into a wall."

"Where am I?" Steve said.

Suzy laughed. "At the palace, silly. Where did you think you were?"

"Uh... the pyramid?"

"What pyramid? Oh, you mean Daddy's tomb? But they just laid the first stones today. why would you be there?"

Steve shook his head to try to clear out the cobwebs. "Suzy! Are you trying to play some trick on me? Why are you dressed like that? Where's your camera?"

Suzy shrugged. "There's so much to tell you, Steve. I don't know where to begin."

Steve suddenly remembered something. "Mister Lewis! Why was Mister Lewis talking to me?"

A man stepped forward, dressed like an ancient Egyptian scribe. "I think you mean me, sir. I noticed you were calling me Mister Lewis while you were still unconscious."

Steve stared at the man. It was true his voice did sound similar, but something wasn't adding up. Where the hell was he? Was this some kind of crazy prank? Was Suzy in on it?

Steve laughed. "Okay, where's the TV camera? Have I been punked? Is this Candid Camera? Ha ha ha ha... ha ha... ha... It's not, is it?"

Everybody was staring at him. Suzy looked at the Scribe. "Do you think he needs a sedative?"

Steve grabbed Suzy's hand. "Just tell me the truth! Please! what's going on?"
Twisting her hand out of Steve's grip, Suzy looked away. "Well," she said softly, "it all began when..."

"...my father and I were murdered."

"Wait!" Steve said. "Back up! Murdered? I think you better begin before that."

Suzy looked around for help. The scribe stepped forward. "My name is Ptah the Scribe. Maybe I can answer your questions."

Steve looked at Ptah's sandals and loincloth. "First of all, why is everybody dressed like we are in ancient Egypt?"

"Because we are in ancient Egypt," Ptah said, and smiled. "In a manner of speaking."

"You're not helping me," Steve said. "How can we be in ancient Egypt?"

Ptah put his fingers together. "How much do you know about parallel universes and alternate earths, Mr Ellen?"

"Just what I read in my sci-fi books. Are you saying this is an alternate earth?"

"You might call it that, or possibly an alternate dimension or plane of reality. You see, 5000 years ago in your dimension, in your timeline, Hmenotep IV and his daughter Pzu Tse were murdered by Hmnehotep's brother: Thut Most. But Thut Most made one mistake. He allowed the priests to mummify Hmnehotep IV and his daughter Pzu Tse. Are you with me so far?"

"I think so," Steve said. "So in my... reality... Hmnehotep IV and Pzu Tse are mummies. But in this... reality... they are alive and well."

"Yes, but before I explain about the mummies, you need to know something about the ancient Egyptians. They didn't originate on earth. They existed long before that. Earth was simply a planet where a few of them decided to live."

"Okay, you're blowing my mind here. So my Suzy is really an extraterrestrial?"

"She's not your Suzy."

Steve put his hands on his hips. "You know what I mean. Who or what is Suzy?"

Suzy put her hand on Ptah's shoulder. "Let me say something now."
"But of course, Princess," Ptah acceded. Steve watched him walk away before turning back to Suzy--or was she Pzu Tse? Confusion didn't even cover it.
This was even worse than the night in Mexico he drank half a gallon of tequila (plus worms) and somehow woke up the next morning perched atop a Mayan temple three miles from town. Even now he still had some trouble recalling how exactly he walked stark naked through dense forest without a single scratch, bite or mauling on his person. Hmm...

Pulling himself from the realm of inane flashbacks, Steve dragged in a heavy breath and steepled his fingers. "Suzy, or Pzu Tse, or whoever you are--you have a lot of explaining to do."

"I'm sorry, Steve."

"Sorry doesn't cut it." That was what he wanted to say. But he had once (accidentally) broken up a perfectly good relationship with that phrase, so he wasn't keen on using it again. (And it wasn't even his own relationship! Boy was his best friend mad at him after that.) So he reined in his tongue and muttered something along the lines of "Apologyacceptednowpleasegetonwiththebloodystory."

Suzy laughed, a sad little sound. "As I was saying, it all began when my father, Hmenhotep IV, and I were murdered by Thut Most, my uncle and my father's youngest brother. Thut Most was power-crazy and skilled in the dark arts. My own father had bade him be schooled as a priest, a magician you could say... That same family love--he had not wanted Thut Most to live life in his shadow--ended up being my father's downfall.

"For with knowledge, Thut Most's thirst for power grew ever sharper. And now he had the means to do us in, as well. So he did."

Steve gripped his own hands. "You mean... he killed you?"

Another sad smile. "He did, Steve. I am dead."

At this point Ptah, who had been standing nearby listening closely, added, "but not in this dimension, obviously."

"Obviously," Steve said and scratched his head. "You mean... because she's standing right here talking to me?"

Suzy laughed. "Yes, I meant I am dead in your time and space - Earth 2009 AD, I believe it was?"

"2008"

Suzy smiled. "Right! 2008."

Steve resteepled his fingers, which had become unsteepled as he tried to absorb the astounding things he was being told. "But in my dimension, Earth 2008, you also seem alive to me, not dead at all. Not even a bad smell. In fact, you smell pretty good there. Here, too."

Suzy grinned. "Thank you. I seem alive there because it's me there from here and not the Suzy who is already there dead and buried."

Steve scratched his chin with his steeple. "So there are two Suzies in my dimension?"

"Well, not at the moment because I am here instead of there."

Steve pointed his steeple at Suzy. "But why didn't you tell me all this in the pyramid? Why did we take a trip to this dimension?"

Ptah raised his finger. "Ahhh, that is because in your dimension she knows nothing of her true nature."

Steve's frowned. "What do you mean?"

"This plane of existence is... shall we say higher than yours. Not an accurate word perhaps, but your language does not have all the words I need to explain this. What it means is that one can travel from your dimension to this one and retain knowledge of your dimension, but to travel from this dimension to yours results in a loss of all knowledge of this dimension."

Suzy touched Steve's arm. "So you see, Steve, when I am in your dimension I am just the Suzy you know there and I forget all this. And when you return 'home' from here, you will forget all about this dimension. It will be like a dream to you."

Steve thought for a moment. "But why do you bother to go to my dimension at all if you forget who you are? And how do you get back to here if you have forgotten all about here?"

Suzy sighed. "There is so much to explain, isn't there? Are you getting hungry or thirsty? How about a little break for lunch? One good thing about dimensional travel - when we return to Earth 2008 it will be at the same moment that we left."

"That's good to know. I wouldn't want my boss to think I just took off without giving any notice. So what's for lunch?"
"Bread and beer are, or were, the staples of my time," Suzy said. She stood and motioned to a long low table bedecked in loaves and jugs and pottery dishes. "There's also some meat and fruits, but those are only for sides... try not to take too much of them."

"Beer," Steve muttered, recalling the tequila incident once again, and quickly added, "Maybe I'll just stick to bread."

Suzy laughed.

And that was when she fell to the ground, hand to her throat, sparkly jewelry dislodged by a single straight arrow sticking up from her neck.

Steve shouted, "NO!"

Scribes and slaves and serving girls scattered like sand grains before a power fan. Hmenhotep IV arose from his throne and bellowed, "The evil of Thut Most is once again among us!"

Thut Most...

Steve moaned.

Why does all the lousy stuff have to happen when I'm around?*

Slaves quickly carried the fallen Suzy out of the garden.

Ptah grabbed Steve's arm and pulled him aside. "Do not worry. Suzy will live. But things are progressing more rapidly than I feared. We must get you up to speed and send you back to your home dimension. However, there is much I need to tell you before you go. I am going to hypnotize you and then talk into your ear at 10 times normal speed."

"What?!" Steve said.

"Shhhh! You are feeling sleepy...."

"Zzzzzzzz..."

"That's right... sleep... sleeeeeep... now listen closely..."

A sound like a chipmunk on high speed issued from the scribe's mouth. Steve winced as the rapid chatter was injected into his ear, but his face calmed as understanding gradually came.

"Wake up!" Ptah said. Suddenly an arrow came out of nowhere and twanged into the wall next to Steve's head.

"Go!" Ptah said. "Go now! Go back to your home dimension!"

"Huh! What? How?"

But Ptah was running to the garden's exit. He yelled back over his shoulder. "Run, Steve, run!"

Steve ran.

And ran.

And ran.

And then--when his legs were pumping to exhaustion, his heart drumming like a hummingbird's, his muscles on fire with the exertion--then he broke through the interdimensional barrier and tumbled to the floor of the cold dank pyramid.
No Suzy, no Ptah, no Hmenhotep IV, no Thut Most. Steve had never felt so alone in his life.

But as he lifted his face from the cool stone floor, a strange, strange sight greeted the pyramid inspector's eyes.

"What the--?"

Oh. It was just his own face reflected in a mirror. His head ached. Steve tried to remember the events of the other dimension but already they were becoming fuzzy memories, like a dream. But there was something Ptah had said right at the end. What was it? But now it was gone. Steve was right back where he had been before the strange dimensional trip... and he needed a bath.

He trudged back out of the pyramid and caught a taxi to his hotel. What happened to that girl journalist, Steve wondered. She certainly disappeared quickly. Maybe he should call the police. Maybe she was in trouble. Or maybe she had just given him the slip. Maybe she had other things to do. Still... it was funny she hadn't even said good-bye. After all, they had shared an explosion together. Weren't they friends?

But Steve was tired. Tomorrow he would call the news bureau and see if they knew Suzy. Tonight he would take a hot bath, order a meal from room service, and get a good night's sleep.

Meanwhile, in Dimension X, or as Ptah liked to call it, Most Heavenly Paradise of His Great Immortal Magnificence Hmenhotep IV, the priests were working on Princess Pzu Tse, or as Steve liked to call her, Suzy. They removed the arrow. Unfortunately, she would not be able to speak until the wound healed, but that would be quickly.

"Is there anything I can get for you, Princess?" Ptah said.

Suzy made hand signals.

"A glass of water?" Ptah said.

Suzy shook her head "no" and made more hand signals.

"A book to read?"

Suzy shook her head "no" more vigorously, made expanded hand signals.

"Perhaps a slave to play a song for you?"

"No, no, no" was the message of the head shaking. The hand gestures became very emphatic.

"A donkey? A dead mouse? A baboon in a silver shawl?"

Vigorous shaking of the head and hand signals that looked like somebody running, running, running...

"Oh, I've got it!" Ptah exclaimed triumphantly. "You would like me to get Mr Steve Ellen, am I correct Princess?"

Suzy nodded. Ptah grimaced. "Ah, well, Your Highness, we have sent Mr Ellen back to his own dimension. Meaning that he cannot possibly remember us... or you... and since you very well know what happens when one of us tries to enter his day and age--it's not easy to reconstitute Egyptian dust..."

Suzy made a hand gesture that, if expressed in spoken English, would certainly fall beyond the rating limitations of this campfire.

Steve yawned and looked around his hotel room. What a good sleep that was... except for that one strange dream. Something about a mirror...

He stumbled into the bathroom and splashed some water on his face to help him wake up.

He looked in the mirror... the mirror! ...and thought of the night before, in the pyramid. One minute he had been running up and down the corridors with Suzy chasing mummies, then suddenly he was alone and Suzy was gone. Very strange. There was something wrong there, a gap in his experience.

After calling room service to send up some scrambled eggs and toast, Steve showered and dressed.

The bellboy entered with his breakfast. Steve handed him a tip, then noticed an amulet on a chain around the bellboy's neck.

"That's an interesting amulet," he said.

The bellboy held it up so Steve could see it better. Carved from gold were a beetle and a solar ball and a hawk arranged in a design with some hieroglyphics. Steve stared at it. So familiar. Where had he seen it before? He couldn't take his eyes off it. The bellboy let the amulet swing slowly back and forth. Steve tracked it with his eyes.

"Feeling sleepy?" the bellboy said.

Steve answered in a flat voice, "Yes...."

* * *

In Dimension X, Suzy struggled to regain her speech and finally one day was able to croak, "Ob! I can dalk a geen!"

"What?" Ptah said.

"Dalk! I can dalk!"

"Do you want a glass of water?"

"Nob! I im jist habby I can dalk a geen!"

"A book to read?"

"Ptah! Dob your nonthense! Lithen to me! Where ith Thteve Ebben?"

"A donkey? A dead mouse? A baboon in a silver shawl?"





"NO NO NO!" Thuzy (I mean Suzy) near-shouted. She did not fully shout as doing so would not have befit one of her rank, but instead she raised her volume high enough to rattle Ptah's eardrums and send a serving maid or two scuttling for cover. "NO!"

Pause. Suzy collected herself and tried again.

"Ogay, nod Thteve Ewwen, tho then can you giv me a babyruth thcroll and thome ingk?"

"Baby rush oil and blink?"

"Babyruth thcroll and thome ingk. Thcroll, thcroll! Ingk!"

After she made a couple of desperate air-writing movements, Ptah raised his eyebrows and queried:

"The bill?"

Suzy groaned and tried again. This time she used her right forefinger as a pen and her left palm as a pad of papyrus. After a few more excruciating tries, Ptah the scribe finally guessed correctly.

"Papyrus, Princess? Papyrus and ink?"

Nods so hard her headdress nearly fell off. Ptah beamed. A mere two minutes later, Suzy had a fresh scroll of papyrus on her skinny lap and a well-inked pen in her shaky hand. With hesitant strokes she wrote

Where is Steve Ellen


and with some effort added

please?


"In his own dimension, Princess. But do not worry. Your father has sent someone out to get him. He should be arriving promptly--"

"I can't wait for him to come here!" Suzy said. "I am going to Dimension Earth 2009!"

"2008" Ptah said.

"2008!"

"Your speech is much better already."

"Thab you," Suzy said. "If I conthenthrate on whab I am thaying it thounds pwetty goob."


In Dimension X Steve Ellen was in a trance. The bellboy recited some ancient Egyptian words as he had been instructed...

Nyall nyall teeki ramba mneptop ptoopazazz!

Steve slowly opened his eyes. "Wow! I remember everything! Ptah and Suzy and... oh no! The arrow! Is Suzy alright?"

"It worked!" the bellboy said. "I wasn't sure it would. This old amulet is-"

"Yeah, yeah," Steve said. "It worked. Who are you? Why are you here? What happened to Suzy?"

"Suzy? I suppose she is around here somewhere."

"Huh? How could that be?"

"Don't you remember? When you return to this dimension you return at the same time as when you left it. So eventually, when she healed, she would come here, and when she did it would be the same time as you. When was that? Yesterday?"

"But I didn't see her in the pyramid!"

"It's a big pyramid. She probably returned to a different corridor. Anyway, were you even looking for her?"

Steve paced back and forth. "No! I didn't look! I didn't remember about that 'same time' thing. It never occured to me." Steve stopped pacing. "I've got to go to the pyramid right now and find her!"

"But how do you know she is still in the pyramid? It's been over 24 hours. Would she just sit there?"

"I guess not. Oh what am I going to do?"

The bellboy sighed. "Don't you want to know who I am and why I am here?"
"Of course I do," Steve said. "But can't that wait? I need to get to Suzy."

"We need to get to Suzy," the bellboy corrected, and took Steve's wrist. "Come. We must hurry to the pyramid before daybreak."

"Daybreak?"

"Have you watched The Night at the Museum, Mr Ellen?"

Steve concentrated. "Err... there was this bloke... who ran a museum... erm, no, wait; he was the watchman at one, yes, that's it... and all the--souvenirs? No, the exhibits!--came alive at night..."

"Correct. But...?"

"But if they're caught outside at, uh, daybreak, then they--they--"

"They disintegrate, Mr Ellen. As will I if the sun's rays touch my skin. Come. We really must get going."

"Then you must be... Golly!" Steve's eyes went wide as he pointed with trembling finger at the helpful bellboy. "You're the mummy, aren't you?"

The bellboy grinned and walked a few steps in a stiff Frankenstein pose while moaning. Then he dropped his arms and laughed. "Yes! I be the mummy! Haha! But let's get back to the pyramid. Come on, then. Why are you hanging back? We really must be quick about this."

"But... but..."

"Don't dawdle. You want to see Suzy don't you? Let's fly like the wind. Let's run like demons from the underworld who have been set loose for a frenzy of malice! Mwahahahahahahahaha!"

Steve shook like a leaf. "I d-d-don't like this!"

The bellhop smiled. "Want to see Suzy?"

"Oh... all right! Let's run."

They reached the pyramid just as the Eastern sky was beginning to lighten.

"Whew!" the bellboy said. "That was close. By the way, my name is Omaniamphat."

"You're not really," Steve said.

"Not what?"

"Fat."

The bellboy gave Steve a blank stare. "You can call me Phat for short."

"Well that you are," Steve said.

"What?"

"Short."

Phat gave Steve a second blank stare. "One more and you're out," he said.

"So where is Suzy?" Steve said.
"Suzy is in Dimension X," Phat said, with the tone of a high school teacher informing a renegade algebra student that X does not equal buried treasure. "Now come on. Do you want to see her or not?"

"Of course I do," Steve said, irritated. Then a thought struck him. "We'll have to run again, won't we?"

Phat threw his head back and laughed. The bellboy's tasselled fez fell off. "Ha. Of course we do, Mr Ellen! That's the only way to get from here to there. Honestly, one would think you were unconscious when you got to Dimension X the first time."

But I was, Steve grumbled to himself, and then sighed and laced his shoes up. "I'm ready."

Phat took his arm and set off on a quick jog...

...which quickly turned into a moderately exhausting gallop...

...which then shifted to a breathtaking sprint...

...until they broke the interdimensional wall, and sprawled panting into the world of Psu Tze and Hmenhotep IV. Or at least, Steve did. Phat landed agilely on his feet and grinned at the fallen pyramid inspector.

"Don't--stand--there--laughing--at--me!" Steve puffed. "Help--me--up!" Heaved to his feet, Steve staggered to a wall, and pressed his forehead against the cool stone. He hadn't run that fast since a marathon runner girlfriend found out about the ... well, even now it hurt to think about it. The break up AND the muscle pain.

But then everything painful slipped his mind as a familiar girlish voice rang out, "Steve!"

"Suzy!" Steve said. And they rushed toward each other. On the way Steve was wondering Should I hug or not? How well do we know each other? It's not like we are related. Maybe she will think I'm being too fresh if I hug?

But Steve's thoughts were interrupted when he collided with Suzy and they hugged each other.

"I'm so glad to see you again," Steve said. "How's your throat?"

"All better!" Suzy said with a happy grin. "You know what we have to do, don't you?"

"No. What?"

"Hunt down Thutmost and slaughter him!"

"Huh?" Steve said.

Suzy's eyes were gleaming. "It will be fun! I've never slaughtered anyone before!"

"Slaughter can be messy," Steve said.

"We'll take plenty of cleanup rags with us."

"Okayyyy... You seem to be really into this slaughter idea. That disturbs me a little."

"Ste-e-e-e-ve! Thutmost is my mortal enemy! Do you want me to kiss him?"

"No, of course not. But slaughter? Isn't there some middle path like having the police arrest him or something?"

Suzy sighed. "Oh Steve, Steve, Steve... Poor ignorant, naive Steve. Thutmost could easily elude the police. He's an advanced being. Only another advanced being like me can stop him. With your help, of course."

Steve shrugged. "Okay. Then I guess it's slaughter. How do we find Thutmost?"

Suzy's face fell. "Oh. I guess I was so focused on the slaughter part that I completely forgot about finding him first."

Steve raised his eyebrows and shrugged. "Well, ya can't slaughter what ya can't see."

"On the contrary," Suzy muttered, and took his hand. "Come on. I have something I want to show you."

"Does it involve murder weapons? If so I'm not really interested--"

"No, silly! You said it wasn't possible to slaughter something you couldn't see. Well, I am going to prove you wrong."

"Prove me wrong? How?"

Suzy's posture was defiant and, Steve thought, a little irritated as she towed him along the temple steps. "By taking you to the Pool of Clarity. It will know how to slaughter without being in the immediate vicinity of the victim. Now HURRY! Could you BE any slower?"

Definitely irritated, Steve decided.

The Pool of Clarity was murky.

"How could this be?" muttered Suzy.

"It doesn't look very clear," Steve said.

"I KNOW that! Something must be wrong with the plumbing."

"Do you think it's connected witht he flooding in the pyramid?"

Suzy snapped her fingers. "Of COURSE it's connected! Why didn't I see that. Sometimes you think pretty quickly considering you are not an advanced being."

"Well, I try."

Suzy nodded appreciatively. "Youi just keep that brain working like that, mister, and we'll solve the How-to-find-Thutmost problem easily!"

"I have an idea."

"You do? Okay."

Steve rubbed his hands together. It was fun being the one with an idea. "We know he wants to kill you, right? So naturally HE will be looking for YOU! So why should WE look for HIM? All we have to do is sit tight and let him come to you. Huh?"

Suzy looked at Steve. "But he's coming to kill me. Do you want me to just sit around waiting for that?"

"We'll set a trap for him. As soon as he shows up we'll get him before he can get you."

Suzy pushed her lower jaw as far to the left as it would go, then back into place. "Maybe it will work..."

"Sure it will! I know just the place to wait. The rec room in the pyramid. It's got TV, a pool table, a refridgerator. We'll be comfortable."

"Okay, Steve, let's do it. I always wanted to be bait for a psychopathic killer."

"Did you?"

"No, I didn't. But if this is the only way I can slaughter Thutmost then I guess I'll do it."

"Still on that slaughter thing, eh?"

"It sounds so final, Steve. I don't think Thutmost will ever bother me again if I can just slaughter him."

"I'll bring a hatchet."
"But... if we go back to the rec room in your dimension... won't I forget everything?"

"You might," Steve said. "What do you remember so far?"
"Not very much," Suzy admitted. "The details are fuzzy, but there's an awful lot about purple socks. And traveling. And... this--newspaper?--called the--"

Steve cut her off. "That's enough, Suze. Look, we're almost there."

Suzy hesitated. "Steve..."

"What?"

Suzy stuck her jaw in the air and adopted a deliberately stiff manner. "Don't look now, but guess who's behind you..."

Steve put his fingers to his chin. "Umm... the Ice Cream Man?"

Suzy shook her head: Nooo.

"Umm... Dracula?"

Suzy shook her head harder: No No No!

"Ummm... Frankenstein?"

Suzy's eyes were big as dinner plates. Her whole body trembled. She shook her head violently from side to side: NO! NO! NO!

Steve rolled his eyes. "Well for gosh sakes, Suzy, stop pretending you are a mime and just TELL me who is behind me."
"Oh for goodness sakes'!" Suzy screamed. "It's Thutmose! RUN!"

Behind Steve, a shadowy figure in a linen loincloth loomed overhead. Aggravated from too much alliteration, Steve barely had enough time to ponder why he noticed the loincloth before Suzy grabbed him and dragged him down the choppy stone corridor at enough speed to give a thoroughbred some thoughts.

"Where--will--we--go?" puffed Steve.

"Anywhere," Suzy whistled, the words left hanging somewhere thirty feet behind them.

Anywhere didn't sound so good, but hey, as long as it didn't have Thutmose in it Steve didn't mind.

They ran and ran and ran and ran. Finally Steve was gasping for breath. "Suzy!" he gasped.

Suzy yelled back over her shoulder: "I was wondering when you would gasp for me instead of your breath. You can be so self-centered sometimes."

"Suzy! Stop running! I'm mortal. I need rest."

"Oh, alright," Suzy said. "I think we lost Thutmose. If I interpreted his cry of dismay correctly then his loincloth slipped down and tripped him."

Steve wheezed and gasped and took deep breaths. "Next time... *gasp* ... let's run... *gasp* ... to somewhere... *gasp* ... not anywhere."
"It doesn't seem right that we're always screaming and running whenever Thutmose shows up," Suzy fumed.

"You're the one who screams," Steve pointed out under his breath. Suzy paid no notice.

"I mean, we should just hack him into little pieces and get it over with."

"I'm with you on that, but how?"

"I thought we agreed to carve him up with a hatchet."

"Chainsaw."

"Sounds wonderful, but there's only one problem with that: I saw a hatchet in the rec room. Do you have a chainsaw on you right now?"

Steve grinned sheepishly. "Well...."

Suzy exhaled. "What kind of archaeologist--"

"Glorified plumber with a degree in archaeology," he corrected.

"WHATEVER! What kind of a whatever-you-are brings a chainsaw to a pyramid?!" she spluttered. "Grave robber! Common thief! You should be ashamed of yourself, Steve Ellen!"

Steve was about to make a blase reply when he remembered that Suzy had, in all probability, witnessed this pyramid being built and probably lived in it for a while. He tried to stay tactful.

"Well, I've got into a couple of scrapes where I really wished I had some heavy-duty power tools to help me out."

"Like what?" she challenged.

"Like when I got stuck underneath three feet of solid timber while investigating the mysteries of the Mayan sewer system."

"How did timber end up in the Mayan sewer system?"

"That's what's so mysterious about it. Anyways, I do have a chainsaw, but it's strictly for emergencies. It's not even very big. And I promise you that it wasn't to carve up your father's remains and transport them back to the Western world for use in fertilizer and cheap science expos."

Suzy pouted, reluctant to forgive. Steve took out a small Swiss-knife type of contraption and tapped a little button. A small chainsaw emerged.

Steve said, smiling wryly, "Now let's go carve Thutmose up."

Suzy grinned. "Now you're talking!"

"What was I doing before?" Steve said.

"Mumbling incoherently. Don't lose your train of thought. We're about to wipe out the Evil that has plagued my people for 6 thousand years."

"Wow! This is more serious than I thought. Now I'm wondering if a chainsaw can handle it?"

Suzy pushed Steve down the corridor. "A chainsaw can handle anything! Just do it! Carve him up, Steve!"

Steve dragged his feet. "You've gotten so bloodthirsty lately. What happened to the sweet, innocent Suzy?"

"She'll be back, Steve. AFTER you kill the beast! Just do it!"
"Is it just me or is that a crimson glint in your eye?" Steve grumbled under his breath.

Suzy gave him a shove. "You're mumbling incoherently again! Get to it! Go!"

"Alright, bossypants."

"Egyptions don't wear pants, they wear tunics and loincloths."

"Bossyloincloths. Bossytunic."

"Stop stalling!"

"Suzy...."

"Is this or is this not related to your apparent disinclination to slay the Evil which has been haunting my people for--"

"--six thousand years. I get it. And yes, it's related."

"Well--spit it out!"

"I don't really feel like killing Thutmose..." Steve admitted.

"OH!" Suzy huffed, the colour rising in her cheeks. "Then fine!"

And with that she swept the chainsaw from Steve's limp hand and thrust it into the menacing shadow creeping (unnoticed till that moment) behind our two adventurers.

"Die!" Suzy shrieked. "DIE!

Steve flinched and wondered however he got into this.

The chainsaw sputtered and coughed as it bit into the rags of the mummy. Shreds of old cloth flew everywhere. The mummy screamed a heart-wrenching scream that made Steve shudder and close his eyes and put his fingers in his ears and mutter over and over: "Make it stop! Make it stop! Please make it stop!"

Eventually Suzy tapped him on the shoulder. "You can stop shuddering now, Steve. It's over."

Steve opened his eyes. "It is?"
Suzy stood astride a pile of cloth and dust. Her face was streaked with mummy particles. Ew, Steve thought, mummy particles. All of a sudden, he felt a pressing need to take a shower.

"I want to go get a wash," he said, struggling to his feet and trying not to step in little bits of Thutmose while he was at it.

Suzy took his arm. "We'll leave now," she assured him. Suddenly a thought struck Steve.

"We?"

"Yes, we. I'm leaving this place." Her tone was decisive, with only a little waver.

"I thought you'd be staying with your father?"

"I will... I will. I'll see you to safety, then I'll come back."

"But won't you forget who you are?"

Suzy snorted. "You're making me sound amnesiac. Don't worry, I won't. Look." She bent down and scraped out a little chunk of pyramid rock from the crumbling stone walls around them. Then she tucked in her pocket and straightened up, patting the lump good-naturedly. "As long as a little of the pyramid is with me, I will remember. So no fuss there."

"Oh." Steve rubbed his forehead. "Is it far to the entrance?"

"No. Actually, here it is..." Suzy led him round a corner and up a flight of stairs and then they exited into bright daylight. Steve blinked. It had been a while since he had seen anything illuminated by something stronger than a couple of AA-battery flashlights.

"Wow," he said. "Pretty bright out here."

"Too bright?"

A young man with grey eyes and a capacious umbrella stepped out from behind a shady camel. Steve frowned. He didn't like the look of him, although Suzy did not seem to have any inhibitions; she stepped out immediately, smiling her bright dazzly smile, and thrust out her hand.

"Hi!" she said. "I'm Suzy Swift, girl journalist from a major international newspaper, the name of which I can't divulge for copyright reasons." She winked. "And who are you?"

The young man laughed, but it had an edge. "I'm Cameron Clarke. And you are?" directed at Steve, who gave his name in a stiff monotone.

Cameron rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Oh dear. Suzy Swift and Steve Ellen?"

"Yes, that's us," Suzy agreed, flashing another smile.

Cameron sighed. "Well, I sure am glad I found you, but this'll cut my article mighty short..."

"Ooh!" Suzy squealed. "You're a journalist too?" Her whole face lit up.

"Cut it, Suze," Steve said tersely. "What do you mean, "article"?"

"The article on your disappearances, of course."

"Our WHAT?!"

"Your disappearances. You... both of you disappeared five years ago."

"Wow!" Steve said. "It's been that long? I think we got involved in some wicked time warp thingies."

"Time warp?" Cameron asked.

"Yes. We went back and forth though time. It was awesome. We visited ancient Egypt, we saw Napoleon at The Battle of Waterloo-"

"Steve!" Suzy said.

Steve put his hands up. "Okay, I exaggerate. Actually, we didn't know we were warping at the time. I wish I did know. There is so much I wanted to see."

"Yes, I can imagine," Cameron said. "Well... so much for your story. Now I'd like to talk to Suzy and hear her story." He turned his back on Steve and smiled at Suzy.
Suzy dimpled back. "Sure," she said, and without further ado the pair of them wandered away and left Steve fuming on his own outside the pyramid.

"Young people," Steve grumbled, as he made his way towards the shade of a nearby vendor. "In my day..." He flopped down with a huff and shooed away the advances of an overeager camel. Braaaaaaah! It let off a cloud of musky camel breath right in his face.

"Yuck!" Steve said, and quickly turned his back on the offending camel.

Half an hour passed and Suzy and Cameron had not come back. Steve was parched and strolled over to the vendor for a bottle of water. Scanning the price list, he was surprised to find that a half-liter of water had been raised five Egyptian pounds. Steve shrugged and bought it anyway because it was cheaper than the alternative--iced Coca Cola, which had also undergone a five-pound markup. How odd.

Slumping back down under the shade of a polystyrene wrap, Steve got antsy waiting for Suzy to return. Where could she be? he wondered.

Suzy and Cameron strolled through the charming alleys of the old city. The thick brick walls protected them from the harsh sun. The sounds of the city seemd muffled and distant. It was as if Cameron and Suzy existed in a world of their own.

"Your story fascinates me," Cameron said. "You are a truly unique young woman."

Suzy smiled. "Even more unique than you know."

"You are already the most unique person I have ever met. I cannot imagine you being more unique."

Suzy fluttered her eyelashes. "I always keep plenty of uniqueness in reserve for special occasions."

Cameron felt a warm flush spread over his body. "Well... yes.. that IS very unique. I can only hope that this is a special occasion."

Suzy stopped walking and leaned back against an old stone wall. Her eyelids were half-lowered. Her voice was soft and suggestive. "I think it might be, Cameron. I think it might be a very special occasion."
"Well!" Steve said suddenly. "What have we here?"

He was en route to the bathroom, which the kindly vendor had said was only a half a block away down this alley. Several neighbourhoods later Steve was still trying to find the bathroom and had, in passing, stumbled upon Suzy and Cameron just as things were getting interesting.

"Well!" he repeated. Suzy blushed and straightened up off the wall, wrapping her arms around herself and stalking off in the direction of the pyramids. Cameron shrugged, smiling involuntarily. Steve didn't return the smile.

"Have a nice day, then," he said flatly, and after giving the young man a hard look he continued on in his search for the bathroom.

Another five minutes passed before the ancient, dilapidated washroom. It was built out of mudbrick and looked like it would fall down the second you pulled the chain... if indeed there was a chain. And Steve would soon discover (the extremely wet, messy, and hard way) that there was no chain.

As he left the bathroom, trying not to think of the mess, an old woman fair catapulted into him. "Flee!" she shrieked. "The scion of the sinful one has risen! The world shall erupt in flames, and ghosts of the unworthy will rise from their hollows and overrun the world! Ice will freeze the burning deserts, and green fields become badlands! And ruling over this eternity of doom will be the vengeful one, whose iron grip is in memory of his slain forebearer, unless the daughter of the lost king can change his ways before it is too late... Ah, but the maid herself is in danger! Flee! The scion of the sinful one has risen..."

It became rather obvious that this woman was like a tape player, programmed to repeat her dire prophecy over and over again. Steve rifled through his pockets for the handheld recorder he always kept on hand and turned it on. Although he wasn't terribly superstitious, he thoght it might be something interesting to give to Suzy for her little

"The world shall erupt in flames, and ghosts of the unworthy will rise from their hollows and overrun the world...

"Ice will freeze the burning deserts, and green fields become badlands...

"And ruling over this eternity of doom will be the vengeful one, whose iron grip is in memory of his slain forebearer, unless the daughter of the lost king can change his ways before it is too late...

The daughter of the lost king? That could mean only one thing.

"But the maid herself is in danger!"

Suzy!

Cameron followed Suzy to the pyramids and caught up with her just as she reached a broken pyramid. "I hope what we have hasn't collapsed like that pyramid," he said.

Suzy whirled around. "What makes you think that we have anything?"

"I know we have something because of the emphasis you put on we. You would have said, 'What makes you think you and I have something?' otherwise, wouldn't you?"

Suzy pondered that. She loved the fine points of grammar, spelling, and communication skills. "You may be somewhat smarter than you look, Cameron. That's a good point. And you're right. To some extent I was already thinking of us as a couple. That was wrong. I shouldn't have done that."

"Noooo, no!" Cameron said and grabbed her shoulders. "It was right! You should think that way! I can sense it. You and I were meant to be together!"

"Don't you mean we were meant to be together?"

"Whatever!" Cameron said. "The important thing is that you agree with me."

Suzy pushed him away. "No, it isn't! That I agree with you? That can never be the most important thing, Cameron! You have to understand that from the beginning. I am a princess!"

"You are? I- I don't know what to say."

Meanwhile, three blocks away...

Steve ran through the dusty streets, clutching at his tape recorder. He dodged a camel and dove down an alleyway and found himself lost in three seconds flat.

"Where's a city grid when you need one?!" he moaned.

Nearby was a dealer of antiques and Steve stepped inside, grateful for the cool interior, a respite from the stifling heat outdoors. As soon as he entered the store Steve noticed a brass lamp. It reminded him of the magic lamps from fairytales. "How much is that lamp?" he asked.

The shopkeeper was an old man in a red-and-white striped robe. "For you a special price," he said, "because I see that you are an American. Am I right?"

"Yes," Steve said. "Thank you for giving me a good deal." Steve paid the price the shopkeeper quoted.

"One thing," the shopkeeper said. "Don't ever rub that lamp."

Steve shivered inside. Maybe he had the real thing!
Nonsense, he thought. Magic lamps don't exist. But still, he had to check.

He asked the shopkeeper, "Why not? Is there a genie in that lamp?"

The shopkeeper looked at him as though he were crazy. "Genie? Of course not! If you rub the lamp it gets dirty and only a special type of oil can clean it back up. Very expensive."

"Oh," Steve said. "Well, thanks very much."

When he had gone, the shopkeeper put another vase up on the shelf and muttered something about crazy Americans.

Steve walked around the bazaar, holding his lamp under one arm, and admiring all the things for sale -- rugs, spices, lamps, camels, dried dates. he realized he was hungry.

The door was open to a small cafe. Inside were a few rickety tables and chairs. A young woman seemed to be the only one working there. Steve nodded hello to her and sat down at one of the little tables and waited.
"Would you like something to drink?" the woman enquired.

Steve said, "Do you have tea?"

The woman said, "No tea. Coffee."

"Okay then, I guess I'll have coffee."

"No coffee. Water."

"Do you have water then?"

"No water."

"Oh."

"Bye!" She gave him a brilliant smile and steered him calmly out the door.

"Well," Steve said to himself outside the cafe, "that didn't go down well."

Something dug into his chest pocket. He fiddled inside and drew out a battered tape recorder. Wasn't he meant to give it to somebody?

Of course! To Suzy! What was wrong with his mind? He shook his head as hard as he could and heard something rattling around inside his skull. Oh no! Had the heat dried his brain into a tiny gray prune? But surely not. He would be thinking much less than he was if that were true. If that were true he probably couldn't even think of... He realized he couldn't think of what it was he couldn't think of.

He had to find Suzy and play the prophecy for her! The prophecy that the old woman had recorded on his battered tape recorder! He couldn't remember exactly what the prophecy was except that it involved some vision of impending doom. He was sure about that. He had to find Suzy!

Meanwhile, by a remarkable coincidence, Suzy had just stumbled upon the very same cafe from which Steve had left only minutes before. "Do you have tea?" Suzy asked the young woman who was the only one in the cafe.
The woman turned pale and fell shaking to the ground. ""Flee!" she wailed. "The scion of the sinful one has risen! The world shall erupt in flames, and ghosts of the unworthy will rise from their hollows and overrun the world! Ice will freeze the burning deserts, and green fields become badlands! And ruling over this eternity of doom will be the vengeful one, whose iron grip is in memory of his slain forebearer, unless the daughter of the lost king can change his ways before it is too late... Ah, but the maid herself is in danger! Flee! The scion of the sinful one has risen..."

Golly gosh, Suzy thought. Wait till Steve hears this! She took out her recorder and taped a few minutes of the prophecy, and after ensuring that the woman had been safely tucked away in a back room devoid of expensive breakables Suzy stepped out into the fierce Egyptian sun.

Almost immediately she ran into Steve--quite literally. She rubbed her forehead and said, "Have I got something for you!"

Steve said, "Whatever it is can wait. I've got something to show you."

"No, ME first! Ladies first!"

"Fine," Steve sighed. "Just get it over with."

Suzy pulled out her tape recorder, her thumb poised above the play button.

"Holy Smokes!" Steve said and pulled out his tape recorder. "You mean we both want to play tapes for each other?"

"Mine is more important," Suzy said. "It's a prophecy."

"Mine is a prophecy too!"

Suzy cocked her head to one side. "Ste-eve! You're just mocking me now and this is an important tape."

"No, I swear! My tape also contains a prophecy. We should hear mine first because I recorded mine before you recorded yours."

"That's not the rule. Women and children first is the rule."

"That's just for sinking ships. For tape recordings it's chronological preemption."

Suzy shook her finger at him. "Oh no you don't. Putting a big scientific name on it doesn't make it a true rule. We'll play my tape first."

She punched the play button.

Steve punched the play button of his recorder.

The two prophecies flowed out of the little tinny loudspeakers, slightly out of sync with each other so that it created a weird echo effect. "Th-the sc-scion o-of th-the s-sinful o-one h-has r-risen..."

Steve felt a chill go down his back. He and Suzy stared at each other, their mouths hanging open so far that they looked like cave entrances with teeth for stalagmites.


The tapes ran out and started playing back. Suzy spoke first.

"You have something green in your teeth," she said.

"Green?"

"Green. Like spinach." She gave a hysterical giggle. "And it's mo-ving..."

"Suzy. Suzy, are you okay?"

"It's greeeeeeeeeen and it's mooooooo-viiiiing," she chortled, and then she fell down and started to twitch jerkily on the sandy footpath.

"Suzy!" Steve bent down and took her pulse. It was strong and healthy but her eyes were rolling about in their sockets and she was flinging her limbs about with abandon.

"What's going on here?"

Steve looked up and groaned. "You," he said.

"Yes, it's me." Cameron looked unhappily at Suzy. "What's going on?"
Cameron stared at Suzy's spastic movements. "Why do you keep running away from me? And why are you flinging your limbs and rolling your eye?"

Steve pushed Cameron aside. "Quit asking so many questions and get a doctor."

Cameron pushed back. "You get a doctor."

Steve shook his head in disgust. "Fine! Make sure she doesn't swallow her tongue. I'll be right back."

Steve rushed into a nearby shop and discovered to his relief that a doctor had an office right above the shop. A few seconds later he was out on the street with Dr Finegan right beside him.

The doctor took one look at Suzy and said, "We have to get her off the street before a taxi runs her over."

"Of course!" Steve said. "Give me a hand, Cameron."

They carried Suzy into the nearby shop, a dealer in rugs. The shopkeeper nervously waved his hands around. "If she is bleeding do not put her on my rugs!"

"She's not bleeding," Steve said. "She didn't get run over, she just threw a fit."

"Oh no!" the shopkeeper said. "She is possesssed by a demon. This will bring much bad luck to my shop. Oh no, oh no, oh nooooo!"
Steve dug into his wallet. "Will $10 be enough to persuade you that she's not demonically possessed?"

The shopkeeper took the bills and fled. He evidently didn't believe them, but he was fine with taking the money anyways.

"Did you just give that man $50?" Cameron asked.

"$50? Of course not. I only ever carry less than $20 with me."

"Well, maybe you didn't notice, but you gave him 5 $10 bills just there."

"Huh. That's weird."

"I'll tell you what's weird," Dr Finegan said, coming up beside them. "She's perfectly fine, her pulse is strong, she's breathing right and everything. But she just slipped into a coma and she won't come out of it at all."

Suzy was lying on a rich red rug. Her eyes were closed and her chest lifted every two seconds as she breathed lightly. She was pale as snow. Steve frowned.

To the doctor, he said, "You have absolutely no idea what's going on?"

"Short of demonic possession, no."

Cameron threw up his hands. "Demonic possession! Don't tell me they told you that in medical school!"

"Medical school?" the doctor said. "What kind of doctor do you think I am?"

"Uhh..." Steve said, "...a doctor doctor?"

"I am a Doctor of Argyrothecology."

"What! Not a real doctor of medicine? Good heavens, Cameron. We've been letting a quack tell us what to do with Suzy."

Cameron shrugged. "It's not like he did anything. You know, no pills or needles."

"I know, but while we are wasting time with him we could be getting Suzy some real help. Instead, she's lying on a Persian rug while an old Argyrothecologist leers at her."

Cameron whirled to face the doctor. "Stop that leering! Get out of here!"

The doctor stumbled backwards. "Sure, sure. Did I ask anyone to come running up the stairs and pound on my door? I did not. Do not be so quick to knock on my door next time."

"There will be no next time!" Cameron yelled.

"We better take her to a real doctor," Steve said. "We can use this rug to carry her down the street. If we each grab an end then it will hold her like a hammock."
"Or I could just carry both ends of the carpet," Cameron said hopefully.

"Not a chance."

"Fine," he sighed, and picked up the end with Suzy's feet. They hefted her out of the shop and carried her for about five minutes before the intense heat got the better of them.

"Baking hot," Steve commented. He wiped off his forehead with a linen handkerchief and then he wrung it out. The sweat dripped onto the street and evaporated upon contact. "We can't carry Suzy much farther. Where do you think a doctor would be? Dragging her around Cairo isn't my idea of medical help."

"Come to think of it, an Argyrothecologist was better than nothing. You don't suppose...?"

"That we could come back and ask him for his help? Not going to happen. You heard the old man say so himself."

"He was an old man to me," Cameron grumbled.

"Cut it out with the age jokes. Suzy is what matters."

"Yes, she is," Cameron said, and then a faraway look came over his face. "She's what matters."

Steve grew thoughtful. They stood there for a moment on the hot Cairo street with Suzy lying unconscious in the rug, Steve thoughtful, and Cameron with a faraway look. The traffic sounds had a muffled, distant quality. It seemed to Steve as if they were in a dream or in one of those Italian movies that have excellent cinematography but weak plots featuring long moments of meaningful silence.

That's what this silence is, Steve thought. Meaningful. It's as if at any moment something startling will happen and shake us from our lethargy.

The loud blare of a horn made Steve jump. "Hey! Get out of the street!" someone yelled.

Steve shook Cameron's shoulder. "C'mon, little buddy. No time for daydreaming now."

Cameron irritably yanked his shoulder away. "Don't call me Little Buddy. That was the name of my Aunt Martha's chihuahua."

"Well, how was I to know that!" Steve hissed, glad to be angry at something because he needed the motivation. "You have been very unhelpful. Do you know that?"

"Oh, bite me," Cameron said. "Let's drag Suzy into the shade. This heat is killing me."

"Yeah," Steve said. "How about under those palm trees where those camels are resting?"

"I don't trust camels."

"We aren't going to ask them to hold our wallets for us and I don't see any other shade."

"But they could trample us or Suzy," Cameron complained.

"What is it with you and camels? Was there a traumatic incident concerning a camel during your childhood?"

"You sound like a psychologist."

"I bought a Phobias for Dummies book last summer."

"Helpful."

"Which is what you're not being," Steve grumbled.

"I just don't like camels," Cameron admitted. "I don't want to get near one."

"Careful," Steve sniggered, "they can smell your fear."

As if on cue, a couple of the camels looked up and glared.

"Maybe you're right," Steve said. "Why seek shade with camels if you don't have to? Let's just lean against the side of this building."

Suzy stirred in her sleep. "What's going on?" she murmured.

Steve patted her hand. "It's okay. We'll get help for you."

She tried to sit up. "Help? Why do I need help?" Her eyes were unfocused and looking in two different directions. "Why does evrything look so weird?"

Cameron waved his finger in front of her eyes. "How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Seven?" she said.

He quickly put his other hand behind his back. "Try to focus. How many fingers now?"

"Um... one?"

"Good! Good!"

Steve let out a big sarcastic sigh. "So she can count. What's your point, Doctor Einstein?"
"I don't know," he said. "They always do that on TV."

"Well we're not on TV--I don't know if you've noticed--stop staring at me--"

"I'm not staring at you!"

"I was talking to the camel!"

"Oh, and I'm the Einstein here?"

"WILL YOU BOTH SHUT UP?!" Suzy screamed suddenly. She clutched at her hair. Her eyes widened. Her mouth formed into a small "o" and her legs kicked around under her like trout in silk stockings. And then she fell back onto the carpet and slumbered.

Cameron passed his hand around his forehead. "I don't know how much more of this I can take."

Steve muttered sulkily, "I don't know how much of you I can take."

"What did you say?"

"Nothing."

"Right."

Probably the afternoon would have drifted on in just that way, hot and sultry, Suzy in a state of semiconsciousness, Cameron and Steve irritably bickering with each other... but no, such a drift was not to be, for an amazing thing happened. The circus came to town.

"Can you hear that?" Steve said. "It sounds like elephants."

"I hope not," Cameron said. "I've got enough on my mind without some unwanted diversion into circus talk."

"Who said anything about a circus?"

"You di- ...No, wait, it wasn't you. Did I just assume the circus was coming when you said you heard elephants?"

Steve shrugged. "I don't know, Cameron. Maybe the heat is affecting your brain."

Suzy feebly raised herself up on her elbows. Her lips worked, trying to get the words out. When the words finally came they were weak and whispery. "Circus?" she asked and then collapsed back into her coma.
"I think she hears us," Cameron said.

"Smart thinking," Steve snapped, laying the sarcasm on like a bucket of mortar. "So is she conscious or unconscious? She can't be both. And what's the circus doing here?"

"Aha! You did say circus--"

"No, she did--"

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!" The tinny blare of a loudspeaker exploded somewhere behind them. Steve and Cameron jumped. Suzy rolled over.

"What was that?" Steve muttered.

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!" A small man with a walrus moustache, sleek and shiny, swam into view from the shimmering desert. He waved his megaphone around expansively. "THE CIRCUS IS IN TOWN!"

"We didn't need a circus."

"THE CIRCUS IS IN TOWN ANYWAYS!"

"You can turn off the loudspeaker now."

"I THINK I'LL KEEP IT ON."

"Suit yourself..."

"THANKS. NOW WHERE IS THE BIG TOP? WE SEEM TO HAVE... ER... LOST IT."

"You lost the big top?" Cameron said incredulously. Mr Moustache narrowed his eyes.

"IN FAIRNESS, IT WAS FOLDED DOWN FAIRLY SMALL. ABOUT THE SIZE OF A WALLET. HAVE YOU SEEN IT?"

"We've seen lots of wallets. None o them look like circus tents though."

"HMPH. WELL, WE HAD BETTER GET GOING IF WE'RE GOING TO MAKE IT TO THE CIRCUS BY SUNDOWN."

Steve scrambled to his feet. "Wait! ... Can we come with you? There's a whiny journalist--"

"Hey!"

"--and a comatose girl and she needs help. Well, he probably needs help too--"

"I heard that."

"--but right now our Suzy is the main goal."

"SHE NEEDS MEDICAL HELP?"

"Yes."

Mr Moustaches stroked his moustache. "WELL, I'M NOT SURE WHAT A MOTLEY COLLECTION OF CLOWNS AND GYMNASTS AND SHOW ANIMALS CAN DO FOR HER, BUT I SUPPOSE THE CIRCUS DOCTOR CAN HELP."

"Great!" Cameron said. "You have a circus doctor?"

"HE DOUBLES AS THE HIP-HOP CLOWN IN THE SECOND ACT. BUT YES, HE'S A QUALIFIED DOCTOR."

"Great!" Steve said, and grabbed the tail end of Suzy's carpet. "Come on, Cameron. A real doctor is gonna have a look at our Suzy."

The doctor was wearing a red rubber nose and had a big smile painted on his face. "Word!" he said. "If you feeling kind of sick, then we gotta make it quick. Soon I got to go an do my circus show. So this be the girl? Looks like she wants to hurl. Did she vomit like a comet""

"Ew," Steve said. "No, she didn't throw up. I don't think it's her stomach. I think she suffered some kind of psychic shock."

The doctor clown jumped back. "I don't hoodoo with no voodoo! You can keep your ghosts and spirits. I've got certain limits. Pains of chest or belly I can treat with Royal Jelly. Got a wart on your toe? I can make it go. If it's the flu that you got, I can give the proper shot. But when it comes to psychic illness, who knows what the pill is?"

Steve frowned. "So you are saying you can't treat her?"

The clown shook his head. "Let a smile be your umbrella, I would never tell a fellow there was nothing in the world that could save his sicky girl."

"She's not exactly my girl."

The doctor clown cupped a hand to his ear. "Hark! What be that I hear? Is my clown car drawing near? Sorry, all my peeps, but when I hear those clown car beeps that means it's time to go. Come see my circus show!"

He said those last words as he was squeezing into a tiny auto already occupied by 22 other clowns.

Steve and Cameron watched the little car putt-putt away and then looked at each other. "He wasn't very helpful," Steve said.

"Yeah," Cameron said. "It makes me kind of sad."

"Don't be sad, boys," Suzy said. "I'm feeling a lot better. Can someone bring me a piece of cake and some ice cream?"
"Sure," Steve said, grabbing Cameron and steering him outside. "Cameron, why don't you get Suzy her cake and ice cream? She'll be fine. Take all the time you want." And then he double-locked the door and shot the bolt just in case.

Suzy grinned at him. "You don't like Cam much, do you?"

"Are we on a nickname basis now? What does he call you, Suze?"

"No, you call me that."

"Sorry."

"Anyways, weren't we supposed to be looking for a mummy or something?"

Steve clappind his hand to his forehead. "I almost forgot! But wait--didn't we solve that one?"

"How?"

"Well... wasn't Thutmose the mummy? And didn't you kill him with my chainsaw?" He patted down his pockets. "Where is my chainsaw, anyways?"

Suddenly a whirring noise, dull like a swarm of hungover bees, sounded outside the door. Suzy jumped. "What on earth is that?" she exclaimed.

The whirring noise intensified. Something went crunch. As the now mangled doorknow jiggled and then dropped to the ground, Steve had a feeling that something had cut through the other side of the handle. The whirring picked up again, and a cloud of bristly sawdust puffed up from the door--or what was left of it. Steve backed Suzy up to the wall and said, "Whatever you do, stay behind me, OK?"

Suzy said something, but that was lost in the crash as the brutalized remains of the door thudded to the floor. When the sawdust settled, Steve let out a small whistle through his teeth.

"I always knew there was something wrong with you!"

"Hi," said Cameron, holding the chainsaw like a horror flick star. He grinned at them. Nothing nice about that grin.

Steve muttered to an ashen-faced Suzy, "Is this your Cam?"

Suzy swallowed and turned even ashier.

Cameron juiced the chainsaw. Steve and Suzy cringed.

Cam laughed. "That's right, boys and girls, I'm your worst nightmare come true! Mwahahaha!"

Suzy screamed. Steve put his arm around her and said, "Don't faint! Stay strong! If he was going to kill us then he would have already lunged forward and cut us in half."

Cameron showed his teeth in a really evil grin. "Oh, don't worry, you'll get cut in half soon enough, actually into smaller fractions than that, but first I have to tell you why I am doing it."

"Of course," Steve said. "That's just commom courtesy."

"Do you know who I am?"

Steve shrugged. "You didn't get the part you auditioned for in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre so now you wander the earth seeking revenge on your fellow man?"

"No, Steve. Save your childish jokes for the grave. That's where you will be soon. For I am Kamer Un, son of...

...Thutmose, and it is my destiny to kill the daughter of my father's worst enemy!"

Steve said, "No. You can't be! That's too soap-opera-ish."

"Death is also very soap-opera-ish," Kamer Un said, juicing the chainsaw again, and Steve shrank back.

Suzy pushed him off her. Her cheeks were flaming. "You're my cousin?"

"Er," Kamer Un said, lowering the chainsaw, "in a manner of speaking."

"In a manner of speaking?!" Suzy looked like she was going to pop a vein.

"I'm his adopted son! We aren't in any way related to one another! Happy now?" he spat uncomfortably.

Suzy's collar descended and the red retreated from her hairline to her cheeks, but she didn't look like she was finished yet.

"And why do you want to kill me?" she demanded.

"I was going to tell you..." he began, irritatedly.

"Get on with it, then," she hissed.

Steve watched the volley like a tennis match, his head turning from one side to the other as they bickered. He wished he had a bucket of popcorn, and then he remembered about Kamer Un's promise to carve them up into fine slices and lost his appetite.

"Well," Kamer Un was saying, "it's my destiny to kill you. Then my father can rise back from the grave and reclaim his dominance over Egypt. You will be dust in the ground and your father will be locked in his dimension."

"And where do you fit in in all this?" She seemed determined to glean every detail before being murdered.

"Oh, well, I will naturally be by my father's side throughout the process." He gave her a winning smile. Suzy twinkled prettily back at him, recalled his evil inner nature and shut the twinkling off.

"And then you are going to kill us." It was a statement. Like one would state "I'm going to the mall" or "You left your clothes on your bed" or "I think the dog just got eaten by your science experiment".

"Yes." Another statement. Steve decided he'd make his own.

"I like sandwiches." Oops, inappropriate sentiment. Suzy and Kamer Un looked at him like he was crazy. "Sorry," he amended, "just wanted to say something."

Suzy looked at Kamer Un evenly. "Well," she said finally, "I suppose I oughtn't go down without a fight..."

"Yes," he agreed, "that would be too easy. No fun at all."

"Do you mind, then?" she said.

He gestured expansively. "Just hurry up." The tone and the gesture didn't match.

Suzy pulled off her jacket. Suddenly the room seemed to fill with a glowing light. When his eyes stopped hurting and adjusted back to the parched Egyptian afternoon Steve saw Suzy, or more accurately Psu Tze, looking very radiant indeed in what appeared to be elegant Ancient Egyptian battle armour and a gleaming, scything sword. Kamer Un raised his eyebrows.

Another quick glow, and after it subsided Steve saw that Kamer Un had transformed again into another set of rugged Egyptian battle armour and another sword--this one looking infinitely more lethal than Psu Tze's. He had a sudden feeling of inferiority at being the only mortal in the room.

Before he could voice a desire to get outside and as far away from these two as possible Kamer Un attacked, slicing through the air with an audible whirr as he clashed down on Psu Tze. Through the melee he heard her shout, "Run, Steve! I'll hold him off! Get back to the pyramid!"

"Over my dead body!" Kamer Un shrieked, shoving Psu Tze violently away and into a wall. He advanced on Steve. "You're not going anywhere--"

And then a section of roof fell on him and Psu Tze took advantage of his momentary immobility to remind Steve of his duty. Steve started running. When he turned around, he saw them fighting again, and then he tried to run a little faster.

But even as he tried to run Steve knew he couldn't leave Suzy (or Psu Tze) to fight Kamer Un all by herself. Yet, what could he do to help? He stumbled back to the scene of the battle in time to witness a horrific sight.
Psu Tze was lying on the ground and her eyes were closed. Of course, it would have been even more horrific if her eyes had been opened, because Kamer Un's sword was sticking up out of her abdomen and she was sort of dead.
At first Steve couldn't believe his eyes. Then he thought maybe his eyes were telling the truth but his ears were lying. Finally, he had to accept the dismal fact that his entire face was giving him an accurate report: Suzy was dead!

"Oh noooooooooooooo!" Steve moaned and fell to his knees. He shook his fists at the sky and yelled, "Why? Why? Why?" Then he bowed his head and sobbed like there was no tomorrow.

Then he noticed another body lying dead under the rubble. Could it be? Steve gritted his teeth and pulled aside some loose stones. Than the Great Jackals of the Nubian Plains! Kamer Un was dead! Suzy had finally killed her greatest enemy. That was something positive at least.

But everything else was soooo negative. Suzy dead? Steve found it almost impossible to accept. How could he go on?

He sat there for a long time, holding Suzy's lifeless hand, wishing she were alive again, wondering if he was going to get in trouble with the authorities for not reporting the death right away...

* * *




Part Two: The Crying Sphinx


Five days later, after the funeral and the long interrogation sessions with the police and the news reporters, Steve sat in his hotel room and finally faced the fact that he had to go on living.

The first thing he must do was write a letter. He pulled out a fresh sheet of paper, clicked his ballpoint, and began to write...
Dear Mr Pharaoh

Suzy's Dad

Pharaoh Hmenhotep IV


To the Great Pharaoh Hmenhotep IV,

Perhaps you will remember me as the man who accompanied your daughter Suzy (Psu Tze) to your dimension and then back to mine. My name is Steve Ellen, and I have some bad news: your daughter is dead.

She was killed by the son of your worst enemy, her own worst enemy, Kamer Un.

I am sor


He didn't know what else to write.

He crumpled up the sheet of paper and then started on a fresh one. That message didn't work out either, and he pulled out a new page, and then another, and another after that. Finally, after his wastebasket had been formally snowed over with rejected letters, he pushed back the chair and put his head in his hands.

"Ach, Suzy," he said aloud. "Why did you have to die?"

"Well, Steve, I didn't really die."

Steve kept his head hidden in his hands. "I hate these hallucinations where dead people come back and talk to me."

"I'm not dead."

"Joan of Arc said that, and so did Shaka Zulu. Fred from the Chip Shop just asked me where the fryers were."

"Steve, I'm not dead!"

"Yeah? Then how come I can't see you?"

"Your eyes are closed, silly."

"Oh." He opened his eyes, and found himself gaping into Suzy's bright face, her curls bouncing cheerfully around her face. "Suzy!" Well, he would have said it if his voice box hadn't wrenched itself up into a small coil about the size of a pea.

"Cheers!" she said, smiling.

Steve's eyes grew big as saucers. Holy Smokes! Ghost? Hallucination? Delusion? Illusion? He tried to speak but his mouth was as dry as the Sahara Desert on a hot day in August. His tongue felt like a petrified log. His teeth were dumb stones arranged in a row. His lips were like beanbag chairs. To sum up, he was having great difficulty speaking.

Suzy grinned. "It's me, Steve! I'm baaaaack!" She twirled around to show him her new wool hiking skirt and the new canvas photographers vest with all the pockets.

Steve strained to make his frozen mouth make words again. Finally a few dry, whispery words came out. "H-have you b-been shopping?"

"Yes! And look at the boots! Are you ready to go explore some old ruins with me?"

"I d-d-don't know. Are you really here?"

"Yes! Give me a hug!"

Steve reached out as Suzy rushed toward him and closed his arms on... empty air! She was gone! He stood there for a moment, then slumped to the floor.
"I hate hallucinating," he moaned, still lying on the floor.

"I thought I told you that you weren't hallucinating."

"Yes, but I ran through you, didn't I? And I can still hear you."

"Because I'm still here."

He moaned again. "Just go away, please..."

"I won't go away, Steve! There's something important we need to do! The fate of the whole world lies in the balance."

Steve's voice came out muffled. "The whole world can go to hell. You're dead and you're staying dead and I'm hallucinating again."

"You're right about the dead thing, but I'm not going away."

He lifted his head. Suzy was sitting on the bed, still in her wool skirt and canvas vest and thick, sturdy boots. She looked a bit peaky and drawn-out, but otherwise alright.

"You're dead? Honest to goodness dead?"

"I already was, wasn't I? Didn't I tell you that Thut Most killed my father and I back in Ancient Egypt? Everyone you saw back at the pyramid was dead--you just didn't know it at the time."

"But--but--you weren't immaterial," he complained raspily. "You were still... human-feeling. Um, you occupied space. And stuff. Yeah."

"I can be killed three times and still survive. Every time I die, it's a little bit harder to remember how to be human--you know, how to breathe, how to not walk through walls. The fourth time, I die for real and am reborn."

"Huh?"

"Let's just say I have two more chances at staying alive."

"Oh. So you're dead, and alive at the same time."

"Yep."

Steve wavered. He got up off the floor and put his hands in his pockets. "I can't hug you, can I?"

Suzy smiled. "I got distracted last time so I forgot how to stay solid." She held out her arms and Steve gave her a quick hug, somewhat bemusedly.

"Gosh," Steve said. "You're solid now. You always were full of tricks. But it's hard to just suddenly start thinking you're alive again. We had a funeral for you, you know?"

"Yah," she said. "I guess I owe you for that."

"Uh, no, some mysterious stranger paid for everything. I guess you are glad Kamer Un is dead."

"Not really."

"Why not?"

"I mean he's not really dead."

Steve's mouth fell open. "Oh nooooo!"

"Don't worry," Suzy said. "I have a feeling we won't be seeing him for awhile. Um... Steve? Would you be interested in helping me solve a little problem that involves The Great Sphinx?"

"Sure, Suzy. I may just be your common ordinary everyday Pyramid Inspector, but that doesn't mean I don't enjoy a good adventure every now and then. What's cooking?"
Suzy suddenly grabbed his arm. "Steve, I think the hotel is on fire!" They dashed to the window and looked out at the main hotel building. Roiling clouds of smoke gushed out of an upstairs balcony, and panicked guests were fleeing into the courtyard below.

"We've got to get out of here," Steve said, and they ran down the emergency steps and into the street. Suzy glared at the fire.

"Cameron," she said.

Steve pulled at her arm. "You're just seeing things. Not everything bad happens on his account."

She pulled away from him. "No, I mean I saw him! He's right there!" Suzy pointed a single dramatic finger towards a guilty-looking figure sprinting over a fence. "After him!" she cried.

Suzy had cleared the fence and disappeared from view by the time Steve opened his mouth. Grumbling, he trotted after her, wishing that he had partaken of the hotel buffet before setting off on yet another wild goose chase.
A V-shaped formation of Canadian Geese flew overhead, honking derisively, and Steve thought how ironic AND extremely coincidental that was, but then pulled up short as the prophetic aspects of it struck him hard in the face. Surely it was an omen!

He rubbed his stinging cheek and yelled at Suzy to stop, but that was like trying to stop a hyperactive kid who had climbed into an empty barrel and was rolling down the hill while her friends yelled, "Stop! Stop! You're going to be killed!" and she just laughed like a maniac and kept on rolling and rolling...

Steve got his feet moving again and took off in a cloud of dust. "Wait for me, Suzy!"

Why oh why couldn't she leave that Cameron chap alone? Especially now that he was dead or undead or some gruesome third possibility that turned Steve's stomach.

He pushed hard on his belly until his stomach was the right way again. Suzy was just ahead, pumping her arms, head held high, her legs just a blur. Boy, that girl could run!

Steve caught up with Suzy at the bottom of the hill.

"I lost him!" she sad.

"Are you sure it was Cameron?"

"Oh, yes, I would know those broad shoulders and shapely head anywhere."

Steve frowned. "I think you should not be chasing him. What if he turns into Kamer Un again and tries to kill you."

Suzy looked at him with a wild look in her eyes. "That's what makes it so exciting."

Steve shook his head sadly. "Sometimes I think I don't really know you."

"How could you, Steve? I'm 6000 years old. Can you imagine how much senility could build up after 6000 years?"

"But you don't look a day over 18."

Suzy grabbed Steve's shoulder. "Steve! Look at the headline on that newspaper!"

They read it together:

Sphinx cries! Scientists puzzled!

Steve sighed. "This sounds like a job for a Pyramid Inspector."

Suzy stared at him. "My newspaper will want me to investigate!"

Together they said: "We have a new mission!"
"Jinx!" Suzy cried. She smiled impishly. "You owe me a soda."

"There doesn't seem to be any bicarbonate soda in this entire country. Have you seen the hotel breads?"

"Not bicarb--never mind. Come on!" she said. "We've got to get to the Sphinx!"

"Could we not run?" Steve said sheepishly.

They ended up taking a sluggish little taxi to the outskirts of Cairo, where they hired a pair of camels to take them to the Sphinx. Steve had been all for engaging the taxi driver right to the end but Suzy insisted her expense account didn't cover that sort of thing.

They hiked up to the Sphinx. By then it was dark, past time for the crowds to go home, but a large mass of people milled disconsolately around a cordoned-off section of the Sphinx. Several uncomfortable-looking scientists in lab coats and field gear perched on a hastily erected scaffolding around the Sphinx's face. Some of the visitors on the ground were holding umbrellas.

Suzy pushed her way through the crowd, flashing her official press badge. "Reporting coming through!" she barked. "Suzy Swift, investigative journalist--Get that dog away from me--I'm with a major international newspaper--hands off, buddy!--I'm on assignment--if you don't move, I'll move it for you!--er, thanks." She smiled awkwardly at a female scientist who lifted up the cordon for her. Then, as Steve scrambled out from within the now-agitated crowd, Suzy gave a small shriek. "Eva!" she said, grinning. "Oh, it's so good to see you."

"Likewise. Your business here?" Eva seemed to speak in telegrams. Nevertheless, she returned Suzy's smile warmly. Then she looked at Steve. "Him?" Eva queried.

"My friend Steve Ellen. He's a pyramid inspector."

Eva raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. Steve was about to defend his profession when a large salty droplet of water, equivalent to about two pint mugs, splashed onto the ground beneath them.

"The Sphinx is crying," Eva said, a tad unnecessarily.

Steve looked up and got a faceful of water. "Salty!"

"Yes," Eva said. "We have analyzed the composition."

"And?" Suzy asked.

"Like human tears."

Steve looked from Eva to Suzy. "That's very strange, isn't it?" Then he looked back at Eva. "Does anyone know why?"

"No."

Another scientist walked over. He was short, bald, and had a neatly clipped beard. "And who are the visitors, Eva?"

Steve held out his hand. "Hi! I'm Steve Ellen, an official Pyramid Inspector and this is Suzy the world-famous journalist."

"I am Doctor Theorem. I've never heard of either of you. We are trying to keep the public away. It could be dangerous. I am afraid I must ask you to leave"

Steve pulled out his Pyramid Inspector badge. "Well, I'm not the public. I don't like to pull rank but I'm authorized by the Egyptian government to inspect any and all antiquities. And Suzy is my authorized assistant."

Doctor Theorem became a little red in the face. "Very well. If you are so authorized as you say, then have a look around. But I intend to check on your credentials."

"Thank you, Doctor. Come on, Suzy. Let's have a look at this crying phenomena." He looked around. "Uh... how do we get in?"

Eva pointed. "Use the door."

"Oh! Didn't see it. Come on, Suzy."

They entered the base of the Great Sphinx and found themselves in a room carved into the stone of the Sphinx. "I didn't know it was hollow."

"Neither did I," Suzy said. "It's odd that there are no heiroglyphs on the walls."

"Maybe this room was carved out in modern times."

Suzy shrugged. "There isn't much in here. Oh, wait a minute. What's this?"

She picked up a scrap of paper. "It says Beware the Bandersnatch. That's from that Lewis Carrol poem, isn't it?"

"Yeah... Jabberwocky. I wonder what it means?"

"The poem?"

"No, that scrap of paper. It sounds like code, doesn't it?"

"Maybe it's just a simple warning to beware the Bandersnatch."

"Curioser and curioser," Steve said. "Let's ask Eva if she knows anything about a Bandersnatch."
"Bandersnatch?" Eva said, outside the Sphinx. "Unheard of."

Steve kept expecting her to say "Error 404" but apparently her humanity still kept a firm grip. Apparently. She gave him a level look with her grey eyes, every inch of her screaming machine, machine. He pulled himself together.

"Thanks Eva," Suzy said cheerily. She laid a warning hand on Steve's arm and fairly dragged him away. "Come on," she muttered. Steve put an arm around her and Suzy whispered something into his ear, casting furtive eyes on the assorted scientists. Eva kept her steely eyes on them until they were out of sight.

Then she took out a walkie-talkie and barked something guttural into it. But very quietly, so that the Egyptian guides milling around with their camels couldn't hear the short Englishwoman issue an order in Ancient Egyptian for the targets to be eliminated by any means possible.
Eva didn't know the batteries in her walkie-talkie were dead.

Oddly enough, not far away, another short woman was lifting a walkie-talkie to her mouth and issuing orders that a target, namely Eva, was to be terminated.

Steve snatched the walkie-talkie away from Suzy. "Jumping Jackrabbits! What are you doing?"

Suzy laughed. "I'm just playing Commando, Steve. You don't really think I have military forces at my disposal do you?"

"With you I never know. I'm expecting fighter jets to roar out of the sky and drop some bombs."

Suzy's eyes sparkled. "This fake walkie-talkie is just my way of letting go of repressed feelings. That Eva made me so angry. I know she's hiding something."

"Do you think so? That's the feeling I got, too. Did you notice how when I said Bandersnatch her lip trembled for a moment, her eyes twitched, then she bit her lip and her eyes became steely?"

Suzy nodded. "That's good, Steve. You're more observant than I expected."

"When you're a Pyramid Inspector you have to train yourself to catch the little details."

Suzy gazed at Steve with a mixture of admiration and incredulity. "Do you know the Jabberwocky poem by heart?"

"Sure! It goes...

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought --
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!"
He chortled in his joy.

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.


"That's good!" Suzy said. "You have a better memory that I would have expected."

"When you're a Pyra-"

"Yeah, yeah. Now about that poem..."

"You're wondering what frumious means, aren't you?"

"Noooooo... I assumed it's a nonsense poem?"

Steve looked around and then leaned closer and whispered, "Everyone assumes that. But is the assumption true? I don't think so."

"Why are you whispering?"

"Little momes have big ears."

Suzy squinted at Steve. "OK, you're beginning to disturb me."

"The more I think about it the more convinced I am that the word Bandersnatch means something to Eva and Doctor Theorem. Let's find out where they are staying and then search their rooms while they are at the Sphinx."

Suzy nodded. "It's a plan. But you got some explaining to do about that poem."

"All in good time my vivacious sleuth buddy. All in good time."
As they trudged through the shifting sands back to the sobbing Sphinx, Suzy felt a sudden, severe shock of... alliteration. She dismissed it from her mind.

"Steve?"

"Hmm?"

"Doesn't Lewis Carroll strike you as a bit... er... odd?"

"Odd? The fellow was completely bonkers. Wonderful writer, but he was pretty damn mad."

"Oh."

"Why?"

"I just wanted to know."

Steve shrugged. "I don't think Lewis Carroll has anything specific to do with this, of course, because he's dead."

"I know."

"But I do believe there are things he found out about the secret conspiracy that controls life on earth and--"

"Whoa! Back up. What secret conspiracy? And if it's secret, how do you know about it?"

Steve looked around again and leaned in to whisper. "Keep your voice down. They have listeners everywhere."

"WHO has listeners everywhere?"

"Shhhhhh! I can't give you all the details but the basic idea is simple enough. There is a group of people who have been controlling everything for centuries."

"That's ridiculous, Steve! They would have to be immortal."

"They could pass the power on down to their children from generation to generation. And anyway, look at you. You're 6000 years old yourself."

Suzy stopped walking. "I'm a special case. You know that. Are you accusing my family of secretly controlling events on earth?"

"No! No! Not at all. I'm just pointing out that it's not impossible somebody could live a very long time."

"Because we DO NOT control things, Steve."

"I know that. I didn't mean to imply it. I trust you completely. Let's go search those rooms of Doctor Theorem and Eva. I'm sure we'll find some more clues there. You're good at finding clues. Surely you can find at least one?"

"I'll try," Suzy grumbled.
They sneaked into the rooms of Doctor Theorem first. Suzy came up with the idea of walking through the wall. Steve was about to point out that this was impossible when she opened the door from the inside and beamed at him. He slapped his hand dramatically to his forehead.

"Right," he said. "I forgot you were dead."

Suzy made short work of the bedside tables and Steve went through the duvet twice with no discernible results, but the real breakthrough came when Suzy gave a wall-mounted picture a hesitant little tap and it swung aside to reveal a shiny black safe, of the kind usually kept by raving although thoroughly logical maniacs.

"Lovely," she said, "but we haven't the code." She stared fretfully at it.

Steve suddenly dove for the combination lock. He jiggled the numbers, and gave a small crow of excitement when the door swung smoothly open.

Suzy exclaimed, "How did you do that?"

"Jabberwocky," Steve explained. "J=10, A=1, B=2, etc. Mind, I wasn't sure if it would work, and I neglected one of the first things they teach you in Pyramid Inspecting school."

"Which was?"

"Always check to see if the safe is booby-trapped. I missed the second thing too."

"Enlighten me," Suzy said, poking about in the innards of the lead-lined box.

"Check to make sure the safe isn't open beforehand."

"Smart." Suzy gasped. Steve drew a little closer. She pointed at something in the depths of the deep black cube. "Look!"

"It's an old photograph," Steve said as he pulled it out of the otherwise empty safe.

"If that date is correct," Suzy said, "there is something very odd going on."

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Steve stared at the photo. "It would mean Doctor Theorem and Eva were here at the Sphinx over a hundred years ago. That's impossible! Unless..."

"Unless what, Steve?" Suzy's eyes were big and bewildered.

"Unless they are immortal... like you!" He glared at her.

"Steve! Surely you don't think I have anything to do with this? I never heard of Eva and Doctor Theorem before. And anyway, there is another possibility."

"Oh?"

Suzy smiled. "Sure. They could be transdimensional entities like me, but from a different timeline."

Steve felt a headache coming on. "I told you I don't understand all that alternate reality stuff. But let's say it's true and they are from an alternate earth. Why? Why come here? What are they doing?"

Suzy lifted her shoulders. "I'm just guessing, but they might want to open up a portal between their timeline and ours and then steal everything valuable they can find here and take it back to their own reality."

"That's one possibility," Steve said. "We don't have enough data. We need to find out more about Doctor Theorem and Eva, like who the heck is financing this project they are working on? Who sent them here? They couldn't get into the pyramid without some kind of papers to show to the Egyptian government."

"I can take care of finding that information. I have a friend in the Cairo Bureau of Antiquities. Let's pay him a visit..."
11 am in the searing Cairo heat. Suzy and Steve, standing on the doorstep of the Cairo Bureau of Antiquities, looked up at the facade.

"It's not very imposing," Steve said.

"The building isn't, but Mr Ibrahim is," Suzy replied, tugging at his sleeve. "C'mon, let's go inside."

The room was empty when they came in. Dust motes hung about aimlessly in the air, and every item of furniture looked to be as old as the museum exhibits they were often hidden behind.

Suzy called out. "Mr Aalif?"

Across the room, a large stuffed ostrich started wiggling. Steve grabbed Suzy's shoulder. "Look!"

Before either of them could start screaming the bird toppled over and a tall man with thick glasses unfolded himself from behind the fallen ratite and blinked curiously at them.

"Ah, Meess Sweeft! So nice to see you again." He smiled, showing a row of gleaming teeth. "What breengs you back to my country? Chasing creemeenals again for your newspaper?"

"Not this time--well, not crims like that," Suzy amended. She fished out a sheaf of notes that Steve couldn't remember her taking down, and waved them in front of Aalif's nose. "We're looking for information on a Dr Evenj Theorem and an Eva Bernarde. They're part of the team on the Sphinx right now. Do you have anything on them?"

Aalif beamed at her. "Meess Sweeft, I have eenformation on everee foreigner in Eegypt. Well, almost everee," he admitted. Aalif wrinkled his nose at Steve and said, "Who is hee?"

"Him? This is my friend, Steve Ellen. He's a Pyramid Inspector."

Aalif and Steve regarded each other closely, and then Aalif said suddenly, "What is equal to the ratio of the perimeter of the base of the pyramid to twice its height?"

"A fairly close approximation of the number, or the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter." Steve paused. "What modern unit of measurement equates closely the mythical pyramid inch?"

"2.5426924 cm or 1.00106. Brother!" Aalif exclaimed, and they embraced, a tad warily.

Suzy looked at them amusedly. "Steve, did I forget to mention that among his many long-winded qualifications for the post of Minister of Antiquities, Aalif is also a fully-fledged Pyramid Inspector with a PhD from the leading Pyramid Inspector school in Egypt?"

Steve's eyes grew big. "You have a degree from the Cairo School of Pyramidology? I'm impressed. They turn out some of the best pyramid inspectors in the business."

"Thank you," Aalif said, "but of course now I do not do much inspecting. I am pushing papers instead. Ah, I miss those long afternoons in the tombs, probing, tapping, napping... heehee! Just a joke!"

Steve winked. "Haha! Yes, who would expect to find a pyramid inspector sleeping on the job? The work requires extreme alertness. Hahaha!"

"What about Eva?" Suzy said when the two men finally stopped laughing.

Aalif handed over a paper. "This is her entry permit. Everything looks very normal, eh? Nothing unusual there. She is employed by Jaberwocky Enterprises, Inc."

Steve and Suzy stared at each other. "What?" Aalif said. "You have heard of this company? It is famous, no?"

"Not famous in the way you think," Steve said, "but the word Jabberwocky has a ring to it. What information do you have about Doctor Theorem?"
"Not much," Aalif admitted. "He is also employed by Jabberwocky Enterprises. I believe he was the departmental head of Ancient Egypt."

"They have a department on Ancient Egypt? What exactly is Jabberwocky Enterprises?"

"They are a... how do you say? ... aquarium for learners?"

"A school?"

Suzy snapped her fingers. "He means a think tank."

"Yes, a think tank. They fund explorations."

"What kind?"

"Many kinds, but most of them involve ancient civilizations. There is an excavation in the Yucatan right now, looking at the Mayans, and another one at Great Zimbabwe." Aalif went back around to his heavily loaded desk and ruffled around amongst the paperwork. Extracting a newspaper, he shook it out and read out the date. It had been printed two months before Suzy's arrival in Egypt. "It says here that they had also started an operation in Bermuda, looking for Atlantis--"

"Atlantis?" Suzy said. She looked at Steve, who shrugged.

"Big deal. I took Atlantis as an elective when I was in my second year of Pyramidology. Fascinating stuff, but I haven't heard about it for years."

"--but the operation was cut off at the last minute. The fleet of boats Jabberwocky Enterprises had hired were sent back to their rental companies with no explanation, and the scientists were very discreetly flown out."

"Huh," Steve said, "that's weird."

"Wait!" cried Suzy. "Aalif, read the date again... Yes... Oh, I've been so stupid! No wonder it sounded familiar. My paper wanted me to go to Bermuda that week to cover some archaeological dig. Then they called back after I'd finished packing and told me it was a no go--dig cancelled, trip cancelled, give us back the travel allowance and shut up. I got sent to Egypt instead." She looked wistful. "I was so looking forward to a day or two at the beach."

"Well, that's interesting. But it's not much to carry on. Do you suppose that they found anything to make them suddenly transfer operations to Egypt?"

"It says here that they never even started work, officially," Aalif said.

"Officially--but if one of the scientists had gone out boating, or something, in their spare time, and seen something strange and important, maybe that would be cause for them to ship out?"

Steve and Suzy looked at each other. Aalif cleared his throat.

"It may interest you to know that Dr Theorem and Miss Bernarde were both on the Bermuda excavation as well," he said.

"Huh," said Suzy. "So now Atlantis is mixed up in it too? Grand." She grinned at them both.

"I hope you're taking notes about all this." Steve said.

Suzy grinned. "Notes? Didn't I tell you I have a perfect memory?"

Steve groaned. "You're too good to be true. Can you hold your breath for an hour and run faster than a speeding bullet?"

"No need to get sarcastic, Stevie. I'm not Superwoman. What are your special powers, Steve?"

"I have the power to stay calm and not faint."

She punched his arm lightly. "More sarcasm. That's your special power. Sarcasm. And I am working hard on the fainting thing. No more slumping for me. I hope."

Aalif cleared his throat again. "Is there anything else you want to know?"

"Yes," Steve said. "What was the date of birth on their passports?"

Aalif looked in his file. "They were both born in the 1960's. Do you need the exact date? I like to maintain a little privacy. ID theft, you know."

"That's close enough," Steve said. "One more thing. Do you know the adress for the headquarters of Jabberwocky Enterprises?"

"It's in Dubai."

Suzy twitched once. "Dubai?" Suzy said. "Why would they choose Dubai?"

Aalif shrugged. "It's a big growing city with lots of office space and it's close to Egypt."

"Makes sense to me," Steve said. "Let's go talk to someone at Jabberwocky. I've never been to Dubai. How about you, Suzy?"

Suzy was still bemused. "Huh? Oh yes, I know Dubai well. Jabberwocky being there just surprises me. Let's go talk to them. If they will talk. They might stonewall us, you know?"

"We'll take the chance," Steve said.
Five hours later, they were being stonewalled. Rashid Qaseem, regional director of Jabberwocky Enterprises, Inc., refused to so much as answer their telephone calls in person; his secretary gave them a clipped response and slammed the phone down. Suzy whistled.

"Lovely service here," she said. She glanced at her watch. "Come on, I'm starving..."

They had lunch at a restaurant near the Marina. Steve stared out at the sun glinting off the rippled waters and yachts.

"Warm here, isn't it?"

"What did you expect?"

"I don't know..."

"It is the desert here, you know. Just like in Egypt."

"Yes... Egypt..." Steve suddenly clapped his hand to his head. "Suzy! I've got it! I know why Jabberwocky Enterprises set up shop in Dubai!"

"Was that question we were supposed to be answering?"

Steve ignored her. "The climate is similar. The topography is similar. Suzy, I think they were trying to test an operation here before doing the real deal in Egypt."

"That actually makes sense, Steve!"

"Thank you. You don't need to be so sarcastic."
"I'm not being sarcastic!" Suzy said. "You're the sarcastic one, remember?"

"Not always," Steve said.

"But quite often."

"Often is not always."

"And fish are not butterflies."

"Huh?"

Suzy put her hands on her hips. "Huh, yourself. You always contradict me no matter what I say."

"No I don't."

Suzy glared at him.

"OK," Steve said. "That was a contradiction, but I had to do it. Didn't it ever occur to you that you sometimes say things that need contradicting?"

"Not always."

"But quite often."

They turned their backs on each other and fumed for a few seconds.

"This bickering is getting us nowhere," Steve finally said. "Let's get back to work on the mystery."

Suzy shrugged. "Whatever you say, Captain."

"OK. I'm sorry!"

"For what?" Suzy said.

"Oh, you're impossible. I'm sorry for being me. How's that?" They both smiled. "I agree your idea sounds good. Maybe Jabberwocky was running some kind of test operation in Dubai. But for what? What is the operation?"

"I haven't a clue," Suzy said.

Steve wagged his finger. "Oh, we have clues alright. Let's consider them:

1) Tears of salty water came out of the eyes of The Great Sphinx.

2) Inside the sphinx we found a note that read: Beware the Bandersnatch!

3) We discovered that Dr Evenj Theorem and an Eva Bernarde are doing work on some project for Jabberwocky Enterprises, a company headquartered in Dubai.

4) We found a photograph in a safe in Doctor Theorem's room that implied he and Eva were alive as mature adults in 1897. If true, that would make them well over a 100 years old.

Tapping one finger in the palm of the other hand, Steve said, "So we do have some clues. What do they mean? Where do we go next?"

"Are you going to tell me?" Suzy said.

"No! You are going to tell me!"

"I am?"

"Yes." Steve folded his arms. "I'm waiting."


"Well," said Suzy, "the clues obviously are warning us to stop messing with their operation."

"You lost me there."

"It's obvious, isn't it? "Beware the Bandersnatch" refers to Lewis Carroll's poem, which is logically linked to Jabberwocky Enterprises."

"Okay..."

"Meaning that they want us to back off."

"Right."

"Now, the Sphinx is crying tears of salty water, which means that--possibly--inanimate objects are coming to life."

"Huh?"

"Why else would Dr Theorem and Eva Bernarde, both of whom are apparently over a hundred years old, be involved in this sort of thing?"

"But... surely... surely there's a logical conclusion as to why the Sphinx is crying!"

Suzy set her jaw. "Steve, when it comes to illogical phenomenon, I'm right there."

"Suzy--"

"I'm six thousand years old, aren't I?"

"Thousands or hundreds?"

"Pardon?"

"Nevermind. So, you were saying that the Sphinx is coming to life?"

"Yes. Either that, or the world is coming to an end."

"This is no time for jokes."

"I'm not joking."

Steve blanked out.

Suzy shook Steve. "Steve? Are you OK?"

"Sure," Steve said, rubbing his eyes. "It's the heat and all that nonsense you call logic."

"Heyyy!"

Steve grinned. "Sorry, I just don't want the world to come to an end. But I did have a vision while I was blanked out."

"You did? I'm skeptical."

"I'm Steve."

"Ha. Ha. What's your vision?"

"Simple. It's the old longetivity scam."

"What's a longetivity scam?"

Steve rubbed his hands together. "Did you ever hear of The Fountain of Youth?"

"Uh... isn't that what Balboa was looking for?"

"No. Vasco Núñez de Balboa crossed the North American continent to find the Pacific Ocean. It was Juan Ponce de León who was looking for The Fountain of Youth in Florida. The point is that people have always wanted to live longer and never die."

Suzy nodded. "So how is that a scam?"

"It's a scam when you claim to have discovered the Fountain of Youth and then sell it to somebody for a lot of money."

"Ahhhh, so you think Eva and Doctor Theorem are scamming Jabberwocky Enterprises?"

"It could be. That photo could be a fake. Maybe they have convinced Jabberwocky that they have discovered a way to live longer."

"That's a good theory, Steve."

"And listen to this little goody. The names Evenj and Eva are Finnish for Adam and Eve."

"Oh! That's rich. Do you think they were really born in Finland?"

"Would it matter? But we have got to find somebody to talk to at Jabberwocky and warn them."

"But Steve, this is only your theory. How do we know it's true?"

"We'll need to prove it. Got any ideas?"


"We could find their birth certificates?"

"They've probably been destroyed."

"You mean... like an unfortunate fire in which the room holding the filing cabinets and computers were completely destroyed while the rest of the building stayed mysteriously intact?"

"Pretty much."

"Oh. Well... couldn't we get a sample of their DNA and then carbon-date it?"

"I think it only works on inorganic matter, Suzy."

"No, they've carbon-dated bones before."

"I don't see any way to get a sliver of bone off of Dr Theorem and Eva."

"You have a point. We'll have to settle for a fingernail."

"Suzy!"

"Just kidding, Steve. Hey, you know what? We could get a forensic analyst to check the picture and see if it really does correspond to the date marked and everything. I heard they did it before."

"On what?"

"Oh, the Hitler diaries, things like that--"

"Hitler kept a diary?"

"He didn't."

"I thought you said--"

"That's what the forensic analysts did. They proved the so-called diaries were fakes from after the war. The ink was too recent."

"Ha... you mean it was too fresh?"

"You know what I mean."

"Right. So we bring the photo to a forensic analyst? Got any in mind?"

"Yes. Yes, I do."

"Is there anybody you don't know?"

Suzy shrugged. "I meet a lot of people. The guy's name is Melvin Bran and he's right here in Dubai."

"That's convenient."




Melvin Bran looked up from his lab table where the photo lay in a plastic sleeve. "This much I can tell you. The paper is not from 1897. But that means nothing. Photos can be copied. This could easily be a copy of an older photo. There is no way to really know that. But this paper that this photo is printed on wasn't made until after 1950."

Steve sighed. "So there is no way to prove that the image itself could not have been made in 1897."

"No. If it is a fake, it is a totally convincing fake. The costumes are authentic and the pattern of black&white grains in the image is consistent with 19th century photo emulsions."

Steve looked sideways at Suzy. "Well, looks like the photo is a dead end. It doesn't settle anything one way or another. We need more clues. And I have an idea."

"I'm glad," Suzy said. "And I think I know what it is. You want to show this photo to all the camel handlers around the pyramid area and see if they remember a man and a woman dressed like this to have their picture taken. Right?"

"Uhhh... Yeah, sure. That's a good idea. Let's do it. Back to Egypt!"
"You know," Suzy said, "we can't keep doubling back and forth between countries. My travel allowance is stretched as it is, not to mention that I start throwing up now every time I smell jet fuel."

Steve looked mournful. "I guess one of us will have to stay here in Dubai, just in case there are any further complications."

"Who stays where?"

"Have a preference?"

"Not really."

"Neither do I." Steve dug out a coin and flipped it. "Heads, and I stay in Dubai." The coin came up heads. Suzy shrugged.

"Well," she said perkily, "looks like I'll be quizzing the camel drivers."

"Have fun," said Steve.

Steve didn't feel very perky himself. Why was Suzy smiling so much when they waved good-bye at the airport? She didn't seem at all sad to be going away from him. Oh well, he would see her again soon. No reason to get all down in the dumps about it.


At the headquarters of Jabberwocky Enterprises in Dubai a discussion was taking place between Doctor Theorem and a gentleman known as Mister Bigg. Doctor Theorem paced back and forth before the huge desk of Mister Bigg.

"I don't like it," the doctor was saying. "He's a pyramid inspector and she's a journalist. We don't need them nosing around in our affairs."

Mister Bigg leaned back in his desk chair. "But she's a reporter. The Crying Sphinx is big news. I'm sure she's not the only journalist on the story, right? And inspecting antiquities is his business. An antiquity that cries can't help but draw his interest."

"Yes, yes, I know it's all logical that they would be interested, but there is something peculiar about that pair. Call it intuition, but I have a bad feeling about them."

"So what do you want me to do?"

"At least keep an eye on them. The girl is headed back to Egypt and he's staying in Dubai."

"Alright," Mister Bigg said. "I'll have some people watch both of them. But I think you're making a big fuss over nothing."

Back in Egypt...

"Is he absolutely sure that he didn't see someone dressed like this?"

"كل ما لديك ، لا تخبر الفتاة رأيتهم." said Suzy's interpreter, her friend Marjan. [trans: Whatever you do, do not tell the girl you saw them.]

The camel driver looked at them. "أقسم أنني لم أر هؤلاء الناس!" [trans: I swear I have not seen these people!]

"What'd he say?"

"He did not see them."

"Alright. Six down, twenty-eight more to go. Isn't this fun, Marjan?"

They found the next camel driver a few minutes later. Suzy looked at Marjan again. "OK, let's go through this again..."

"هذه هي الفتاة التدخل في شؤون بلدي الشركة," said Marjan. [trans: This is the girl who is interfering in the affairs of my company.]

"أرى." [trans: I see.]

"What did he say?"

"هل لديك بندقية؟" said Marjan. [trans: Do you have a gun?]

"هل تعتقد اني سأتركها في البيت؟" enquired the camel driver. [trans: Do you think I would leave it at home?]

"Marjan--"

"آمركم أن يطلق النار عليها.." [trans: I command you to shoot her.]

The man's eyes grew wide. "لا! هي فتاة!" [trans: No! She is only a girl!]

Marjan snapped, "آمركم أن يطلق النار عليها" [trans: I command you to shoot her!]

The man keeled over.

Suddenly, Suzy realized something. She jumped at Marjan, but by then it was too late. She was in a stranglehold before she could move.

"You're one of them, aren't you?" Suzy choked.

Marjan glared at her coldly. "We tried to warn you from interfering."

"Never! ... urkk..."

"Maybe your friend in Dubai won't be so trusting."

Suzy's round eyes grew rounder. "No! ... cch... not... Steve... acch..."

Steve stood across the street from the headquarters building of Jabberwocky Enterprises. It wasn't a large building, just three stories of brick. The only sign was a brass plate next to the door that said "Jabberwocky". Very discreet, Steve thought. But why does no one ever enter or leave?

He walked all the way around the building as far as he could. On one side it butted up to another building. But there were alleys along the back and other side and a service entrance in the rear. He decided to watch that entrance for a while by taking up a position partway down the alley and squatting down on his haunches.

After a while he stood up because the thought occurred to him that it might look like he was trying to take a dump in the alley. He leaned against the back wall of a building trying to look casual and quickly became bored. Maybe he could buy a camera and install it to watch the doors? That was an idea.

As he walked away in search of a camera shop, he heard the echoes of his footsteps and suddenly stopped. Those weren't echoes - he was being followed! He whirled around in time to see a man quickly duck into a doorway.

So that's the way the game was being played, eh? Very well, maybe he could turn it to his advantage.
Steve crept up to the doorway and paused just next to it. Cautiously, the man peeped out. Like a flash Steve grabbed his head and started to pull his ears, which usually left people screaming, if only for him to let go before he undid their piercings.

This time the ears came off of the head and stayed snugly in his hands. Steve stared.

"What the--?" he said.

© Copyright 2008 Steev the Friction Wizurd, Summer... who's she again?, (known as GROUP).
All rights reserved.
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