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Jan 27, 2008 at 6:33pm
#1661322
Edited: January 27, 2008 at 7:39pm
entry
by fyn
I'd done it. I'd gotten the hell out of Maine leaving behind a disastrous six year
relationship that had been pure hell. Took a broken wrist, two broken ribs and a
concussion to get it through my thick skull that there wasn't anything at all that I
could do to make it work. It wasn't ever gonna happen and I needed to get out before I got out permanently dead. So I'd thrown what few things I had that would fit in my beat-up car with 208-some thousand miles on it, grabbed my puppy and my laptop and got the hell out of Dodge, or in this case, Sanford, Maine.

That was something like 800 miles ago and I was no longer driving like there were demons chasing after me. This was a good thing as it had been snowing for the past day or so and roads were terrible. But I'd gotten up this morning and set out again for God knows where ever I'd end up. No plan. No destination in mind. Just someplace else. It had stopped snowing, the sky was impossibly blue and I'd found an awesome country music station.

"If you're going through hell
Keep on going, don't slow down
If you're scared, don't show it
You might get out
Before the devil even knows you're there..."


Boy, that Rodney Atkins had it right. Keep on moving. Catchy tune too, that stuck in my brain like a stuck record playing the refrain over and over and over again. I finally gave up and turned the radio off as the song persistently drowned out every other song. So I hummed the refrain and meandered my way out of Canada and into Michigan.

Michigan. Michigan drivers must all have a death wish. 70 mph speed limits and everyone's doing eighty on icy roads. Time to get off the highways and take back roads for a while. Need to find me an internet cafe. Stupid, leaving the cell phone on the kitchen counter,but at least he can't call and bug me this way.

'Grounds for a Byte.' Interesting name. Deep leather chairs, roaring fireplace and the best double latte caramel mocha I'd ever had! They'd even let me bring my puppy in and given her a bone which she'd promptly ignored in favor of my over the top cinnamon roll. She flopped down in front of the fireplace and went to sleep, leaving me free to Skype my daughter.

'Hey Emily.'

'Mom! You okay? Where are you? I called and that idiot said you'd could be in hell for all he cared!'

'I'm fine. Tired, a little frazzled, but fine. Went to the doctor...'

'Doctor? What the heck did he do to you this time, Mom?'

'I'm okay, Sweetie. Just wanted to let you know I'm on the road headed I'm not sure where, but when I get there, I'll let you know.'

'Where are you now?'

'In Michigan. Sure is flat out here compared to back east.'

'You can always head here to Texas, Mom. You know that, right? You got enough money?'

'Yes I do. Setting up that saving account in my name was one of the smarter things I've done recently. Moved all my money into it on the way out of Maine. As far as Texas goes, I don't think so, hon. I want to go where ever the road takes me for a while...'

'Mom! You brought the pup, right? You didn't leave her...'

'She's here with me. Me and the bear are on a road trip. I'm at this really cool coffee shop and she's sound asleep in front of a fireplace. We're fine and frankly, I feel better than I have in a long, long time.'

'Well, if you're sure....'

'Yes. I love you.'

'You too, Mom. Email me at least, okay?'

'Will do, sweetie. Bye.'

On the road again. I've wandered into small town America. Tiny villages and towns with miles of snow covered fields between. One stop light, roll up the sidewalks, everyone knows everyone else places. Pretty snow covered trees- stark contrast of bark against ermine: birch bark etchings of winter woods. A sign for the 'Broken Goose' bed and breakfast catches my eye and I slide on past the driveway.

I carefully back up and see that the snow and pine covered sign says 'Open Year Round.' Now if they allow dogs, I'm all set!

Gaunt, grey-haired, flannel shirted in bib overalls woman answers the door. Her smile upon seeing me lights her face as she welcomes me in.

'Your doors unlocked? You can't leave that puppy in the car! She'll freeze. Let's get her in here.'

Frantic about being left alone in the car, Bear exploded into her arms, giving this total stranger a face full of puppy kisses. The woman smiled and set the dog down where she bounded through the snow sniffing and quickly doing her business before rushing back in the house and shaking snow all over the woman's highly polished hard wood floors. The combination of wet puppy feet and no rugs had Bear slipping and sliding across the foyer. The woman laughed as she grabbed an old towel from the front closet to wipe up puppy tracks.

'It's no bother at all. What a beautiful puppy she is. Bichon, right? Traveled far? I'm Maude Ribby, but folks here call me Maddy and you should too.' Switching the towel to her other hand, she shakes mine in a firm, no nonsense grip while drawing me further into her homey living room. A fireplace sends out cozy warmth. Her Christmas tree is still up.

'I know, I know…here it is January and my tree’s still up, but I enjoy it so and it looks so pretty there.’ I agreed that it did and it really was a beautiful tree. I was looking forward to examining all her ornaments more closely in a while. She showed us to a ground floor bedroom with French doors opening out onto a patio.

‘Thought this room would be best for you with the dog and all,’ she said smiling. I looked at the canopied bed with its hand pieced quilt, the fireplace just waiting for a fire and the huge comfy chair placed nearby. The room radiated peace and safety and suddenly I burst into tears. Wrapping a motherly arm around my shoulders she bustled me out of my room, down a hall and into a brick floored kitchen where she plopped me down at the kitchen table and handed me a mug of coffee.

‘Looks like you might need someone to talk to,’ she said handing me a box of tissues. My story poured out and she just sat there and listened. She got up once and made me some cinnamon toast. Now how on earth did she know that cinnamon toast is my all time favorite comfort food?

After I’d talked myself hoarse, she looked at me and said, ‘Okay. You’ve gotten that out of your system, had a good cry over it, now it’s time to toss that garbage in the trash and go onward. You’re a smart girl, you’ll do just fine. It doesn’t matter whether you are fifty or twenty. You go on with your life and see what’s coming your way next. Tuck what you’ve learned inside, keep the good memories, and for God’s sake, don’t make the same mistakes again. Now my son’s a doctor and he’s due here in about an hour. You go have yourself a good soak in the tub and I want you to let him check you over after he gets here.

'Don’t you shake your head at me. I just want to be sure you haven’t aggravated any of your injuries with your cross country trek. You are moving pretty good for someone with a couple of busted ribs, but he is going to check you out. There a bathrobe behind the bathroom door, now scoot. Me and your puppy are gonna have ourselves a nice brushing out and then I think I have an old soup bone around here that she’ll love.’

Later that night, lying beneath a down comforter in that canopy bed, I felt absolutely marvelous. I was sore, but her son had assured both of us that I was doing just fine. I had a tummy full of venison stew and sleep was oozing over me. Last thing I thought of was that Christmas tree in her living room, full of amazing ornaments shining and sparkling against the January night.

Puppy licks and kisses nudged me from sleep. I opened my eyes to her tiny pink tongue licking my nose. She began bouncing around on my chest in her 'take me out, NOW!' mode. I reached for my glasses just seconds before a soft knock at my door.

'Are you awake dear? I've brought you some coffee.' Bear bounded off the bed and Maddy set the coffee on the nightstand. 'I'll let her out into the pen out back, you just wake up softly' she said as she and Bear went down the hallway.

I stretched until ribs complained and enjoyed her coffee. Where would I go today I wondered. My talk with her last night had indeed, lightened my mind and I truly felt ready to get on with my life. I liked these small towns and Michigan seemed as good a place as any to stay awhile.

Goodbyes were said, emails exchanged and Bear and I were on our way. I turned the radio on. Once again, my song was playing.

"But the good news
Is there's angels everywhere out on the street
Holding out a hand to pull you back up on your feet..."


I smiled. Good theme song, I thought.

The roads were snow covered but drivable. Everything, every branch, roof, and fence was coated in about three inches of new snow. I hadn't said where I was heading when I left Maddy's place and she hadn't asked. She had pointed in this direction though, saying it was as good as any to head. I'm glad I met her, I thought. She had a heart that listened but didn't judge. She certainly seemed to understand what I'd been through, and while she didn't discount any of it, she'd led me to believe that things could have been much worse.

She was right, I knew she was. She'd also said that just like broken bones, it take a bit for a heart to heal, but that I was taking the right medicine and headed in the right direction. I was limited only by what I believed I could, or couldn't do. And this morning, I felt like anything was possible.

I came around a broad curve in the tree lined road and suddenly my car swerved off to the right, nose first into a snowdrift holding up a tattered old mailbox. Shifting into reverse I tried backing up. No go. The mailbox now canted further at an angle. Oh hell, I thought. Damn, damn, damn...

A rusty blue pick- up pulled in just behind me. I got out of the car as he walked up. Flopped in the open window of his truck was the jowliest old hound dog I'd ever seen.

The man was about my age, dressed in flannel shirt and bib overalls. Michigan State costume, I wondered?

'Hey there. Looks like you're stuck.'

'Sure the hell am,' I said.

'No problem. Let me get a tow strap out of the truck and I'll have you unstuck in no time.'

I followed him back towards his truck, leaving Bear doing a trampoline dance in the back window. She'd seen the hound too. 'He friendly?' I asked pointing at the dog drooling down the side of the pick up.

'Him? Sure, aren't you Sparky?' he said petting the dog on the head.

'Sparky?'

'Well, he was a lot more energetic fifteen years ago. My name's John, by the way. You from Maine? he asked nodding towards my license plate as he attached the tow strap.

'Used to be. Now I don't know where the hell I'll be from.'

He smiled at me. 'This'll just take a second. Hop in your car and put it in neutral for me, k?'

He pulled me out of the snowdrift, but something felt funny with the car. I got out and walked around to see my tire flatter than the Michigan countryside. John came up behind me. ' Tell ya what little lady, you pop your pup in my truck with old Sparky here and I'll fix your tire. Go on up round the curve and have yourself a bite to eat. I'll bring your car up as soon as it is fixed. Look for a big ole boy at the bar, it's called 'The Dam Site Inn' by the way. He'll have a Santy Clause white beard. Name's Clyde. Tell him John's fixing your tire and will be up for lunch shortly...no don't worry about your pup, she'll be fine with Sparks. I'll bring her in when I get there.'

Not sure quite what to do, I decided that I might as well. Bear was happily being licked by a tongue as big as she is and well, I was starving. I hiked up around the corner and stopped dead in my tracks. Big black and white sign announcing...'Welcome to Hell.'

Just beyond it was the 'Damn Site Inn.' Damn, hell...oh dear. The lot was full of snowmobiles and motorcycles. Motorcycles in January? I shook my head as the smell of what had to be the greasiest hamburgers in the world hit my stomach and it growled noisily urging me inside.

Flimsy fabric orange and red strips fluttered above fan lights giving the impression of flames. Bibbed overall convention at the bar. I found Santa Clyde and gave him John's message. Got a seat near the window and ordered the cheeseburger my insides were screaming for. A few minutes later I was biting into the best charcoal grilled hamburger buried in cheese I'd ever eaten! Hell of a burger, I thought, giggling. John came in and plopped Bear down in the booth next to me. She wasn't much interested in my French fries either. Smart puppy. Waitress came up to me and said, 'I didn't notice you had a dog with you...be right back.' She returns in a few seconds with a dish with cooked meat on it. 'Puppy special,' she said grinning.

Clyde limps over to my booth and asks if he can sit down a moment. I nod.

'John says you are at odd ends at the moment. If that be the case, would you be interested in a job for a few weeks or forever for that matter. My cashier decided to move south with her old man. Doesn't pay much but the cabin out back of the Hell General Store is part of the job. You interested? Worst part of the job is all the hell jokes from the tourists but, hell, could be worse.' He grinned toothlessly. 'I need some help there, this old gimp leg of mine acts up more than it used to and I needs to be setting more than standing. So. We got a deal?'

I nodded. What the hell, why not?

'So what's your name little lady?'

Oh dear. I giggled, then burst out laughing.

'Angel.'

Sometimes, it pays to stop in Hell.





Word count--2587
 Full Circle  (18+)
Sometimes you have to go through hell to get where you need to be.
#1380870 by fyn
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entry · 01-27-08 6:33pm
by fyn

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