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Rated: ASR · Message Forum · Community · #2093590
Bullied survivors, let's unite to stand strong with young victims of today's bullying!
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Aug 18, 2016 at 8:21pm
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Edited: August 18, 2016 at 8:24pm
When I really wanted to die
When I was in fifth grade or so, there was this boy named Ricky. He was cute and very popular, and so was his older brother.

Ricky started noticing me, only because I had developed much more quickly than the other girls in class. He tried his best to sweet-talk me into letting him touch me inappropriately, but I would never do such a thing. He tried to make me think he liked me, but told me not to tell anyone, because his friends would laugh. I can remember begging my mama to buy him a Christmas present for him from me - Yahtzee, which was very popular back then. When I gave it to him, he told me he'd bring my gift to school the next day. He gave me cologne. I was so smitten and thrilled, until my mama & sister told me that it was men's cologne. "He probably stole that off his dad's dresser," my sister said. I was hurt and humiliated.

After that, I stopped speaking to him. But in our freshman year of high school, Ricky decided to mess with me some more. Every time I would walk by, he would say, "April sucks green donkey d***s!" After that it got shortened to he and his football buddies yelling, "Eeeee awww! " - the sound of a braying donkey. This went on all year. I walked into English class one day, and the male TEACHER yelled, "Eeee awww!" Everyone laughed hysterically. I began to cry, & the teacher reprimanded me for being overly sensitive. "We were just having fun with you," he said.

But the worst day was when a boy named Keith, whom I was friends with, but whom I not-so-secretly loved with all my heart, and had since fifth grade, made the sound at me. I put my head down on my arms atop my desk and sobbed my heart out. Keith, who sat in front of me, turned and apologized profusely. "April, I am SO sorry! Rickey just told me to say it to you - that it would make you laugh...I don't even know what it means!"

I forgave Keith, because I knew he was telling me the truth. He would have never done it if he'd known why. He was, and still is a wonderful person...the direct opposite of Rickey.

A couple of years ago, I ran into Rickey at the Walmart that I work in, in our home town. He said, "Hey, I know you! Do you remember me?" I said, "Yeah - you made my life a living hell." I left him standing there, and I never looked back.

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When I really wanted to die · 08-18-16 8:21pm
by Word Warrior beating cancer!!
Re: When I really wanted to die · 08-26-16 2:07pm
by Pumpkin

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