Writing.Com General Discussion

Honestly, I have been working on my one mob story for a while now - over a year. I started it over so many times and each a different beginning because of that very reason. I am now writing it in two versions. The short story and a play. I have breathe some life into the story, and not sound so boring, by watching my sentences. If they are very long it is going to sound boring and long-winded. By putting short - even very short sentences in there it kind of gets away from the documentary tone. I am writing in first person POV. I am avoiding a narrative tone entirely

Example :

"Look, it's everywhere. Garbage and more garbage!"

but there is a whole different tone to it when I write it like :

" Look! It's everywhere. Garbage! Garbage! Garbage! "

Shorter sentences kind of put more passion into it - giving more life to a phrase. Maybe others see it differently but that's my take and how I see it. No matter if they disagree or not. You should try rewriting a small section with shorter sentences and see if that does help you - - if not you're no worst off.