Chapter #24Hobbits, halflings, quarterlings, and the rest by: Yote   Hobbits are a diminutive race of near-humans that live in small, close-knit communities distributed across all human lands, though favouring quiet rural areas. Their homes are built underground and can be found by the sight of windows and doors jutting from hillsides, though the sound of song and laughter is also a giveaway for this gentle race is fond of merriment, and can always be relied upon to provide a (admittedly cramped) room for the night to any traveler in exchange for a tale or two, and/or some mild cuckoldry.
If given the chance, hobbits will commit their lives to nothing more than light agriculture, the maintainence of their dens-homes (for they are fiercely houseproud), and the endless extension and stocking of their cellars with good foods, sweet wines and pipeweed. No hobbit town has ever progressed beyond simple cottage industry. They do not produce weapons or armour (though a hobbit with a rolling pin is a formidable thing should you ever insult his or her home) and have no army. They depend heavily on humans more protection from the worst the world has to offer and in exchange provide us with quality food and a little tax and don't cause any bother.
In appearance, hobbits stand around 4' tall with portly, paunchy figures.
They live up 200 years old and mature with their customary leisurely pace, reaching sexual maturity at around 40 years of age. The word 'hobbit' comes from the old hobbit language for 'whole person', which makes more sense once we look into their reproductive habits.
Hobbits have a strange quirk of biology in that any offspring born to a pairing of two hobbits will grow to a full height only half that of their parents, roughly two feet tall. These children they refer to as 'halflings'. The offspring of halflings will be half the size again, one foot tall, and termed 'quarterlings'. Beyond that we have eighthlings, sixteenthlings and so on and so forth, becoming vanishingly small with each generation. I do believe the smallest we ever found were in a very old, very remote hobbit town. Well I say town, it was more of an ant hill. Individuals found were less than a third of an inch tall, if you can believe that! And if you don't, we have plenty of preserved samples in archives. Whether this represents a lower limit of their size, we've yet to confirm.
Halflings are not only shorter but slimmer than their sedentary parents. Where hobbits are slow, halflings are nimble. While hobbits are flabby and soft, halflings have dense, muscular flesh that pound-for-pound make them stronger and durable to blunt force and crushing injuries, traits which become only more pronounced and more necessary for survival as they get smaller. They also become more flighty, and many leave their homesteads to explore the world. Now I do believe we keep a sample of a quarterling somewhere in the desk for you to see... Aha, here we go. Notice the honed physi- Oh, do step back, ladies, you're supposed to be wizards.
http://pre06.deviantart.net/6a5d/th/pre/...
Back in the cupboard with you... Now...
Where was I...?
Ah yes...
What you would think to be a terrible racial curse does have a few positives. Childbirth is very easy for the females, as is providing food for the child - very useful indeed as hobbits tend towards large families. That said, hobbits and their fractional offspring all have an acute, instinctive understanding that the slow shrinking of their race over time leaves them vulnerable to the threats of the world, ultimately even rats and other vermin.
The only way known to reverse this generational shrinkage is to incorporate "whole-ling" (human) blood into their offspring. This is to say that, by mating with a human, the progeny of such a union will always be one size larger. There is thus a natural urge of the hobbit or halfling to gravitate towards taller mates, in the same that humans gravitate towards healthy or beautiful ones... indeed, as demonstrated by my handsome little sample a moment ago.
While human-hobbit marriage is still quite rare, casual mating between the races is widespread and vital to their long-term survival. Hobbits have no taboo against it even if the hobbit in question is married, with cuckoldry seemingly viewed as normal. Do not be surprised or offended if propositioned in a hobbit-home. The couple are merely considering the best for their future children, and declining is considered impolite. Hobbit-husbands will happily sit and smoke their pipeweed while a human (or humans) goes about the business of impregnating their wife, and raise the resulting child exactly as they would their own.
When dealing with a hobbit or "-ling", be aware that their "interest" in a human is inversely proportionate to their size. Halflings may be very friendly and forward around a human, quarterlings will be extremely blunt about what they want, while eighthlings make the most adorable sexual predators.
Naturally this type of inter-racial pairing could be expected to create problems for the female halfling, both in the act itself and the delivery of offspring proportionately twice her size. Fortunately nature has deigned to grant her remarkable endurance and the ability to painlessly unhinge her hips, allowing for the ingress of the male phal- *ahem*... well that's a lesson for another time.  indicates the next chapter needs to be written. |
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