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Let me say first that I usually rather don't read religious / spiritual works but... it was the Latin in the item description that intrigued me. Go figure. I wanted to know what it means.

What I found was a very emotional and thrilling piece. When you leave all that religious icons and metaphors out - I don't have it so much with those, sorry - this is about essentially human things.

The "Tribunal" that sentences Peter is today's society, always eager to work only for its own profit, having lost sight for the desires and needs of their fellows and looking down and damning those who can't keep pace. Those who care about others and share with those who can't afford their living or not such a good one frightens them since they feel it's threatening their morally illegal piled up wealth and the new world order they've build around it.

The way the three "judges" talk to Peter, degrade and humiliate him, is their way of ridding their society of flaws, of individuals threatening it not only by betraying the society they were member of for so long by them simply stopping to live after its unwritten laws but even more by thinking and acting out of the mainstream.

Peter has understood what unruled capitalism and greed does not only to him and his likes but even more to those who can't live up to it and fall and decided to not longer look away and help. That is the belief he clinges to despite various threats of his life and God in this sense is the metaphor for the strength with which this belief is rooted in him.

Peter's life-changing malheur in the desert that he believes to be his eye-opening moment is a well-used yet timeless metaphor in many literary works, my fave among them St. Exupery's "The little Prince" ~ he certainly had a few eye-opening moments during the lessons the little prince taught him.

Maybe Peter's motivation to leave his earlier life behind was rooted in him spontaneously feeling appalled toward society's mercilessness for those outside the mainstream or even stronger in him spontaneously taking action when he saw those peoples' strain, e.g. after the global economic crash, by donating or giving them something eat or whatever, a small gesture that was rewarded with deepest gratefulness. Maria is the memory of this grateful response to his responsible behavior toward his opposite and his confirmation that his new way of living is the right thing to do.

The desert he stumbles through and the pain it causes him is his inner fight of his former self battling his resurrected and wanting to force him back into egoistic and greedy and blind society and his new opinions and realizations wanting to keep him from that mistake.

It also shows in his responses to the tribunal when they ridicule him for his in their eyes stupid beliefs. I found especially his remark about the Romans, that they wanted to support the strong and rid themselves of the weak and only managed to heave criminals on their thrones very fitting. Who is throning on the seats and sentencing Peter for breaking out of society? We've sunk so low that many of us nowadays would go over bodies to get wealth and keep it, no matter who suffers or dies because of it.

Back to Peter's inner fight in the desert of realization of what he has lowered himself to earlier as still a wealthy manager or broker or whatever: the excruciating pain and void opening in him when he mentally and emotionally distanced himself from his earlier life only sets in and hits him full force when the tribunal tells him that God would be a lie and it in vain to do the good in his name.

Basically that means - at least to me - that people might realize the falseness of their lifestyle and act altruistic as a response, but rather only to feel better, to make up for their mistakes that made others suffer, but that we at last can't escape our instincts that are poled to "only I and my life and wellbeing counts". Everyone else who opposes this opinion as Peter impressively does deserves all hellfires he'll come across for ripping a hole in the existing order.

Peter swaying between giving in to get out of that mental hell and staying strong for lying to himself would only increase it since he'd have allowed evil in humanity to triumph over him after he just discovered the truth - that we can defy our natural instincts when we try hard enough - was very emotional. That he didn't give in in the end showed strong character and guts in the face of ugliness slumbering in each of us.

I think that is also the reason why he can't look Simon in the face and feels so scared about the actually not really scary and threatening features. It's too hard yet for him to face the reality that there is no hell and devil but that the latter is ourselves and is most of the time locked away and strictly controlled by mind and subconscious and is so destructive when it tricks all controls, comes out and shows its true face: the ugliness and cruelty slumbering deep inside each of us and making us do the most hideous things to others without thinking twice.

What I personally think about the God-thing? Well, I believe in God, but I don't need a "ground crew" who tells how it's done right since there's no right or wrong in believing. When God is as almighty and ever-present as it's told he knows where I am and if I believe or not. He certainly not needs me to go to Mass to realize that.

Yes, it may sound blasphemic... but when God doesn't like the idea... he knows where to find me when he wants to punish me for it.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .