Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
Hi! I decided to see what little Miss Caprice had to write about! I love your Bio! Strong, beautiful, intelligent, and a bit outspoken! You go, girl! All those attributes are lovely, and I'm glad you recognize your strengths!

I like lots of things about your poem. First, I love summer poems. They just have to be good, because there is so much to love about summer. You chose a perfect variety of reasons to love summer. You included nature, children playing (can't have summer without that!), teens graduating, and even added a very nice tribute to God for the blessings He gives. Very nice!

Form, Format, Rhyme, and Meter:
Form and format does not require a special KIND of form. Every poem you write will have some kind of form and format. Your poem is free-verse form (my personal favorite!) and the format just refers to the way you determine where to end the lines and where to start a new verse. I think you did a superb job with this.

Oh, and about rhyme--it's nice when you feel the rhyme flowing from your pen, but never force it. It's much lovelier as a free-verse than an awkward, forced rhyme.

Now, to the meter or flow of a poem. There is great importance in this element. Aside from emotional impact and/or imagery, this is the most important element, again in my opinion. Those two categories, together, are what makes it a poem. In this area I can offer you some suggestions, based on things other reviewers have pointed out to me when reviewing my poetry.

The flow contributes to the "atmosphere" or "feel" of the poem as it is read aloud. For instance, I described your poem as bouncy. It felt bouncy and exciting to me because of the words you chose, and because of the short sentences you used. Keep this in mind as you read your poems aloud. Does the meter or flow give the desired effect of flowing romance? or chilling horror? frantic? cheerful? The flow of your poem matches the happy feel of summer fun.

There are some bumpy places in your poem, however, that detract from the flow of thoughts for the reader. As a rule of thumb, you should go through your poem and get rid of any unnecessary words--any extra the's or and's, for example. Make every word count as much as possible. If you can use one terrific word instead of two so-so words, then go for it. This is something you will learn more about as you blossom as a poet. I'm certain of that. You have a gift, and you are in a great place to learn how to make your words paint a picture.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:
What I love most about your poem is the excitement that exudes from every verse. You made it easy to get caught up in all the wonderful things that summer brings. I love the line about teenagers making amends to their parents before going off to college. How perceptive of you! I also love the part about praising God for blessings you've received and those that are yet to come. This adds some softness to your bouncy poem. (That's bouncy in a very positive way.)

Punctuation/Spelling/Grammar:
I know that punctuation is optional in poetry, and since you chose to omit punctuation, it is considered correct because it is consistent. So, you get a perfect score in SPAG--Isn't that an awful word for these elements? Whenever you choose to write poetry without punctuation, be sure to be consistent. Adding a comma or period here and there leaves it open for criticism by reviewers.

Personally, (really just my opinion) I like to see punctuation and capitalization used correctly in poetry. In other words, I would prefer that you capitalize the beginning of each sentence (Note, I did not say "line.") and use commas and periods the same way you would if the poem were written out in sentences. To me, it helps the reader follow the flow of thoughts more easily. Now, like my mama always said, opinions are like belly buttons; everybody has one!

Suggestions:
Let's look at a few of those "extra" words I talked about earlier. "The birds are chirping and flying" Since you are not concerned with rhyming you can do whatever you want with this line. Perhaps, "The chirping birds fill the azure sky" (or "blue" if you prefer) ((This does two things. It takes out a blah word,"and", and replaces it with more visual words. It also changes the passive voice "are chirping" to an active voice "fill the azure sky.")

Try leaving the "and" out of the third line, replacing it with a comma. Or, if you want to lose the passive voice, you could say, "The excited children run and play outside." There's one more "and" you could lose in the next to the last line.

If you are interested in giving your poem a more active voice, look for all the helping verbs, like "are" "will". Leave them out and write the line a different way. For instance, "Teenagers graduate from high school" "For all the blessings He gives me"

One final suggestion: There is a considerable bump in the flow in "Our fallen soldiers and that" You may want to play around with this and see what you want to do about it. A possible way to make it stronger and smoother: "our fallen soldiers who died so that" Just an idea.

Final Thoughts:
I am thrilled that, at the tender age of seventeen, you are already writing with confidence. Never let anything or anyone stop you from blossoming as a writer.

I probably got carried away with my comments! It's always so much fun to see a talented young writer spread her poetic wings. I hope I didn't overwhelm you with my mini-course on writing poetry! (Actually, pretend I never said that. I'm in no position to teach any kind of class on poetry. I'm just learning about it myself.)

By the way, if you click on the I.N.K.E.D. image below, it will take you to their web site. They are a brand new group dedicated to inspiring newbies with kind and encouraging deeds. I've asked my friends there to keep a special eye on my new friend, the talented Miss Caprice.

Keep painting pictures with your words!

warriormom