Hi Dylan Ginsberg
I read your story, here is my review. Congratulations on your nine years with WDC.
Please remember, I'm a writer, just like you, and these are only my impressions. My ultimate goal is to be helpful and supportive. Thanks for sharing your work.



OVERALL SENSE: I liked this powerful story of man versus beast. Who's going to win? You wrote this at the right pace, keeping up the suspense on what is going to happen. I was all tensed up at the end, thinking "Now here is a well told story that has the right descriptions and scenes to bring it to a climax. I loved reading this very much.

         Characters: Your characters are a man who is upset with a bear that is killing off the livestock, even terrifying the citizens that are trying to enjoy their outdoor activities.
The bear's description is well defined. The reader knows by your description that he’s a very large bear. This kind of hunter is scary, because these animals are not stupid, so you have to be on guard at all times if you want to defeat this unwanted intruder.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING: NONE I couldn't find a thing wrong.

AREAS FOR IMPROVEMENT: NONE This story is very well written.

FAVORITE LINE(S): But an unexpected cloud cover moved in to obliterate the moon. In this new and ominous darkness the man relied on his hearing to identify the approach of his adversary. He knew he would hear the bear long before he saw it even if the moon had still been bright. He would not permit this lack of moonlight to be a serious handicap.

COMMENTs: This change, with the clouds moving in coving up the moon's light didn't help this hunter's plan any. He needed the light, but he had to make do with what he had going for him. Trying to gather all his courage, his plan must be followed or it could mean his death. With these options, he had no choice but use his sensory perception of hearing, gauging the distance of where and how the bear is moving towards his bait. Good job. An interesting read.


Take care now, keep on writing, I’ll keep on reading,
Jeannie

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