*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/3764508
Review #3764508
Viewing a review of:
 
Poems by Tina M. George  [E]
Collection of poems.
by Tina M. Courtney
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*Pencil* Tiggy's "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  Review *Pencil*


Title: Poems by Tina M. George

Author: Tina M. Courtney

Type: Poems


Hi, my name is Tiggy-Cheers for House Martell and I found your review request in the "Review Me List for WDC Power -ON HIATUS" . I would like to add before I begin that these suggestions and thoughts are simply one person’s opinion. Others may see it differently. If something I suggest helps, I am pleased. If not, please just ignore it. My intent is just to help you edit your poems.


In Autumn Sings you tackle the Cinquain form of poetry. I’ve tried the Cinquain a time or two, but I never had the patience, nor the skill to pull it off. This is, on the surface, a simple poem about nature. However, what makes it work is how you’ve captured the imagery: those colours, sounds and sights of the season. We can feel the sun and the wind with its Autumn wind alternating between warm and cool. I like that you compare these emotions and apply it deeper, to the soul, where one takes in all things and keeps them to replenish how they feel spiritually.

Do you know that you have this poem as the led-in and at the end of this list? You probably did this for structural reasons, to compliment the entire structure here.

In Coming Ashore, you muse upon the nature of your life and existence. Again, using nature as a sort of guide. The river becomes a symbol of sorts, for that tranquillity you need, and as a path to God. It represents that path you need to make, enjoy making. In that river, in the water lapping the shore, you find yourself.

I did notice a few minor typos here:

*BulletG* Line One:
The swirling and swishing of the river plays in my thought.
I assume you mean, “thoughts” since it is hard to show action in a single thought.

*BulletG* Line Two:
First glance is seeing waves ascending my very existence.
What if you wrote, “First glances see waves... what do you think?

*BulletG* Line Three:
Looking in at the waves, coming ashore,
“In” or, “at” the waves? I could see both, but I rather like, “at.”

*BulletG* Line Nine:
Of a well read tale.
“well-read”?

*BulletG* Line Thirteen:
Never to sure how to tread.
“too.”

It is a lovely poem about finding your path to spiritual discovery. We all need to have such a path towards whatever it is that gives us peace and understanding.

Faith is an Etheree that builds to a very simple conclusion, that we are all heading towards Heaven and The Almighty. I’m quite impressed how you managed this poem. It doesn’t seem forced at all, as one might expect from a form poem demanding an ascending syllable count.

River seems, on the surface, to be a simple poem, but after reading it, I see more below that surface. There is a tone of desperation to this poem, the water opening to whispers, which then transcend to souls screaming. It is really a frightening poem. Whoever this earth child is, feels these whispers in an intense and suffering way. I quite like this poem.

In Singing Leaves, the most important word is, “it.” What is the “it” in this poem? Well, I suppose it is the hope, spirit, belief, faith, everything that you have that leads to the real you. It seeks to avoid the artificial and just keep what it real.

In line five you write:
it tells a story of cries that ponders.
For agreements sake, I think you want, “ponder” (cries ponder)

I like this poem, for as simple as it first appears, there is a depth here that lends one to greater truth.

In Free Thought Original Poem from Singing Leaves, the poem speaks of finding that depth within oneself, when we think it may no longer exist. The soul understands and carries burdens and knows the value of the spirit, and seeks to find truth in it.

There are a couple minor typos here:

*BulletG* Line Three:
while leaves craddle thoughts
“cradle.”

*BulletG* Line Four:
a song will echoe lively souls
“echo.”

It is a lovely, deep poem, that is as much for the head as the heart and soul.

Lady of Poem is a poem about tomorrow. But it is more than that. It is about cleansing ones sins, about becoming more perfect, and hoping to reach that spiritual potential within us. It is calm, reflective and is meant more as a contemplation upon who we are and should be, rather than who we’d been.

Tina, I like these poems. Each is reflective, seeks to find the truth of who you are, to avoid making the same mistakes. You infuse nature as a way to show the symbolic path to purity, to God. They are lovely poems and I enjoyed reading them!




** Image ID #1576304 Unavailable **
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 09/22/2012 @ 9:20am EDT
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/3764508