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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/3922957
Review #3922957
Viewing a review of:
Mystery of a Swan's Call  [E]
Christie and Laura’s Halloween vacation turns deadly.
by Jeannie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
The first paragraph hooked me with the time of year. The descriptions are part of the action and move the plot forward at a good pace.

In this phrase, telescope stood at the ready, does telescope refer to periscope, which is used on a submarine.

A typo in this phrase, about Lula, I suggest changing Lula to Lulu.

I like Lulu. Write on.

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WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
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#1300305 by Maryann

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