Dear Robin ,
I am reviewing your "Invalid Item"  "Invalid Entry" . These are my observations about your work.



General Comments & Reader Reaction Sometime I think Garrett is a total idiot. I mean who allows his prisoners to roam free during hostage negations. Now secret entrances to and from places of importance to the royal family is more believable. But I'm glad Garrett is an idiot other wise no story. Now that the reader is placated I see what your doing and I'm hooked on finding out more about that book. You do know your sorcerer is acting out of character it is almost as he is being controlled. Kind of makes me think he might be a construct of some magical power and that is why he only does as Garrett commands.

Plot & Pace I see the source of information about the stone of mist being found by Avalon. This is advancing our major plot on up to it's climax. The pace was good not draging and not drag racing either.

Characters We mostly dealt with Avalon and Marek, and her two handmaids.

Setting & Imagery We were seeing a lot of the castle insides halls and the library. The imagery is that of mid evil castles with huge holes in its walls and fire marks everywhere. Man that sorcerer sure had one upset fire breath. Or was that a bad case of gas?

Themes Our theme has been changing to a bit of revenge and loathing.

Emotion, Mood & Atmosphere The emotions of the characters was fear for their lady and fear of their capture. Avalon was afraid and loathed Garrett. Marek didn't seem to have much of any emotions.

Structure & Consistency Our story structure is pretty consistent with our characters and plot we still are on the correct coarse. All parts are still consistent with each other.

Writing Style & Grammar Your doing well here as usual.

Favorite Lines It was sitting upside down. She turned it over. In raised gold letters, the title read A History of Valhallow Keep. I liked this part because it is a major plot piece.

Overall Impression & Conclusion: Well I hope the next chapter has more answers for the story. It seems the Avalon side the reader cannot wait to get to the Tate/Evthey seem to have the better action.

Please remember that you are best judge of what is right for your book Whatever another person says -- especially me -- whether positive or negative, is just their opinion You are the only one who can decide what is right for your Book.

Thanks for sharing this item! I only review things that I enjoy reading and I truly did enjoy reading this chapter. Please keep on writing more things just like this!







My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .