Firstly, Kudos to the amazing concept. I understand that it is difficult to describe different characters in a same person in a story. If this was a screenplay, the writing would have been easy. Though this is a story, your hard work deserves full marks. The concept of exploring the multiple personality disorder was fantastic.

Your timing was on the mark. I felt that the pacing was coming down a bit when you were showing the details of Ester and Esther. By coming down, I mean that the single thread was extending too much. Then, BAM!, you introduced Estur, with a 'U'. Then the pace was up automatically.

The way you handled multiple threads in the story deserves applause. The use of vocabulary, italicized sentences, and the imagery were impeccable.

MY Favorite Part(s):

1) "Bath time was over and they stood before the mirror over the sink drying off. Esther saw a shameful naked sinner, anxious to put her clothes back on. Ester saw a beautiful nude flower, feminine in gender, petals open for the universe, still unsatisfied. But she saw something else also. A situational alignment that she had been looking for, tumbled into place."

2)" My name? I don't have a name. But you can call me Estur, with a 'U', from now on sweetie. We all have different needs; You need to be anonymous. Ester needed to be needed and I simply need to kill.

3) I guess I've figured out how to murder from the outside and the inside now. This was the line that I loved the most.

MY Suggestions:

1) When there is more dialogue, you generally have to decrease the descriptions of surroundings to make it pacy.

2) Since you gone of 18+ rating, another scene on Ester's need for sex could have been described in detail. Especially, the scene with Nile Onteaux could have been more seductive to show the character of Ester explicitly before its death.

I was expecting Ester in the end. When the nurse sees her, she sees the woman with her hand up her skirt or something like that. This was JUST my expectation. But, you ending was better than I imagined.

I have a small doubt. Does the ending mean that Esther is dead and Estur has taken over her?

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .