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 Review #4217039 |
 | Invalid Item  [] |
| (4.5)  This is a review from "Invalid Item" Hi Sally  ! I am Aqua and the following are only my personal opinions. Ultimately, you and only you can decide what works best for your item. There are three reasons why I am reviewing from your portfolio. You have been a very dear friend of mine and you have given me a lot of inspiration, motivation, valuable feedback through your reviews and encouragement. I just thought that I should try to return a favour by popping in your portfolio and surprising you!  Secondly, you are one of the members at WDC Kind Hearts, I have been meaning to review for it but haven't until now when I saw your name on the list and I thought, why not! Thirdly, I am very delighted to read flash fictions especially so short because they are simply fascinating! I have never been able to write any myself because I always tend to go above the provided word count limit  . The format of your story was good, you had properly paragraphed everything and the addition of the colour on the text didn't interrupt the reader while reading it. The reason why I chose to read this item was because of the title. I haven't been reading much novels and I love romance items so I thought to drop by especially because it was a story of less than 100 words! You fulfilled the requirement of the contest and I loved how you constructed the story. The thing that I find most difficult is how to write plot, characters, background, etc all in so small word count but you did a great job here! From my perspective, your story can be taken in different ways. At my first read after the short description, I thought that it was about a husband and wife, aged couple, and the wife is suffering from Alzheimer's and forgets things. But then, when I read in the story separately, that they both chose a name, father and daughter came into my mind where the daughter might be suffering from Alzheimer's at a young age. My mind didn't stop just here, it thought of maybe a son and mother relation. Whatever the relation was, if the short description was excluded, the sentiment, the meaning, the emotions, the events matched and it seemed entirely up to the reader what he wanted to imagine. I liked this aspect of your story! Your story was very touching and emotional. The last line really moved me. You used a simple metaphor to turn something so simple into something so beautiful and perfect. You portrayed the forgetting of something to a goldfish. I know that the memory of a goldfish is weak but I could have never thought of using it the way you did here, wonderful! Now that the contest is over, maybe you could post just a little longer version of it explaining what the name they chose, what did she whisper to him that he wanted to hear, if the female character was a swimmer and loved to swim due to which he remembers her in her gold, slim fitting swim suit? These were the questions raised in my mind while reading your story but were neglected because the present story couldn't have been any more than perfect in 100 words. My favourite part of your story was the last line as I mentioned. She was his first goldfish and he adored her. I cannot explain how many emotions that could be expressed in so many words, were covered in merely just one line. Its an art that not every one has and you have it. You have this gift! The affection, emotions and love of both of them can be seen very clearly through this story, whatever the sickness is, he still loves her which comforts the heart of the reader. But at the same time, it saddens the reader to see and realise that death and sickness comes to all. This is a beautiful piece! Congratulations on winning, you deserved it!   THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING YOUR WORK! Write On!  ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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