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Review #4277707
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Review by Naveed
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Rated: | (4.0)
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Hey, I'm Naveed and I shall be reviewing this gem of yours, fellow rising star *BigSmile*

Please bear in mind that these comments, although honest, are in no way 'the word'. They may be wrong.

First Impression:
I really liked this poem at first glance. The idea is a bit cliched, but has been beautifully covered. The imagery I saw, certainly made me feel...warm and happy, lol.

What I liked:
The sentence, 'He helped her find the dreams living nightmares had defiled.' took me away. The rhythm, the imagery, the words, the flow... everything was pitch perfect. It is also open to multiple interpretations, which is what I love about poetry.

What can be improved:
The sentence, 'Her heart, freshly glued after being pulled apart, still fragile, barely beating could be whole again.' can be improved. It's a bit...say... stiff on the tongue. I'd suggest that you don't use such lengthy sentences in poetry, as it detriments the flow, but it's just my opinion.

What I'll remember:

Everyone, be it a guy or a girl, needs someone to mend his/her heart at some point of life. Those who find one are lucky, while those who don't never understand what it means to be cared for. Love is the best thing about this world and everyone deserves it!

Keep on writing! All the best!

Peace!

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