Hello Marlow Rivers . I'm Charlie. Thanks for sharing your writing with us. I hope this review finds you well.


Title/General Thoughts/Subject Matter: I thought there were some super cool lines in this poem. It reminded me of how I feel when I'm in a cemetery. There's just something super final and quiet about it. I can totally relate to forcing yourself to not think about the fact that you're basically walking across the bodies of the dead. The title drew me in, although I'm not sure what 'a word thing' is.


What Worked: You created some cool imagery here. I loved the idea of rain rusting metal things and that rusty water seeping into the soil and eventually into the dead bodies. That's a super dark picture and I can totally dig it. You definitely killed it on the alliteration too. Rust the rest roots and Silent sleeping souls. I loved the vibe of those two lines and then how they sort of brake-checked with the 'Do no think: the dead bit.


Technical Issues/Suggestions: There were a couple issues I saw in the poem that might be helpful to consider. First, the onomatopoeia of 'titter tatter' was strange to me. I would think 'pitter patter' if I was talking about rain. The only time I've heard 'titter tatter' was when describing people bickering over nothing, so that threw me off a bit from the start.

I also thought some of the words were used too frequently for such a short poem. The words 'rust', 'souls' and 'soil' specifically were repeated. I think it might spruce the poem up a bit if you described those concepts in different ways each time.

The final suggestion I have is in the last line of the poem. I thought that 'falling' was a super weak verb to use there. Falling into their souls doesn't really strike me in any remarkable way and I think having a much stronger action word will end the poem with a punch.


Final Thoughts: Overall, I think this is an awesome start. The idea of the poem and the imagery you created was excellent. I would just suggest an edit to tighten things up a bit. Thanks again for sharing with us!


Best wishes,





My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .