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Review #4314230
Viewing a review of:
 A Pondering Mind  [E]
A peak into the shift in consciousness revealed through meditation
by Thefleweedink
Review of A Pondering Mind  
Review by Charlie ~
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Hello, Thefleweedink . Happy 1st WDC anniversary! How are you doing today? I'm working on reviewing different genres for "Invalid Item and stumbled upon your item, "A Pondering Mind. I hope this review finds you well! Thanks for sharing your writing with us. *Sun* *Cool*

*Right* General Thoughts: I chose to read this poem because I wanted to see your perspective on meditation and the way it can transform a person's mind. I think meditation is great for people who need to slow down and relax. I have such a difficult time clearing my mind, even during meditation, but I've gotten better at being more disciplined and allowing guided meditation to transform my mind's consciousness.

There was definitely a serene quality to this poem. I liked the way you described meditation and it's transformative qualities. The past and future leaking through openings, having a staring contest with the wall, and the freedom that comes from the release of consciousness. My favorite part was the last three lines which discussed the rejuvination of the mind, soul and spirit. It definitely made me want to meditate! *Yawn*



*Right* Suggestions: There were some unclear lines in the poem that I would reword to provide clarity. See an example below.
Example

There were also some parts that were a bit repetitive. The use of the words 'subconscious' and 'conscious' repeatedly, and so close together, stood out to me. The same with the three lines in a row that all use the word 'being'. I would suggest finding new ways to describe those words to make the writing stronger overall.



*Right* Conclusion: I enjoyed your meditation poem very much. It made me feel peaceful and relaxed, knowing exactly how that feels. I do think the writing could be a bit tighter with an edit, but the base is strong. Thanks again for sharing with us!


Best wishes,

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