Hello, Hyperiongate ! I'm Charlie. How are you doing today? I'm working on reviewing different WDC genres for the "Invalid Item"  and stumbled upon your story, "Mean Girls" . I hope this review finds you well! Thanks for sharing your writing with us.

First Impression/Hook: Ouija boards are a common element in the occult and the title of this story caught my attention. In relation to the occult, I knew this was going to be a story of vengeance on a group of mean girls. The introduction was a good hook and reminded me of the opening scene in a movie. It was realistic and I can see it actually taking place.

Plot/Pacing: In this story, we're introduced to a group of friends who are the stereotypical mean girls. The main character is attempting to get in good with them, but they're of course making it impossible and picking on her instead. I thought the pacing was good for the introduction to a longer story.

Characterization/Dialogue: I felt bad for Jen in this story. It seemed like she just wanted to have a group of friends to hang out with, but I'm not exactly sure why she would pick the mean girls. It seems like more down-to-earth girls would be more willing to pick her up as a friend. Either way, I think you did a good job of making the reader feel empathy for Jen. I especially felt bad for Jen when she was trying to convince herself that the other girls' mean comments were just how friends acted naturally.

My Favorite Part: I loved the idea of the Ouija board being in control in this story. Jen sees the board as her only true friend, and when the Ouija board suggests something sinister, she will listen to it. I think this makes an interesting dynamic and there's a lot you could do with that general idea.

Mechanics/Suggestions: Your grammar and all that is on point. I didn't notice any errors there. The dialogue and characters were a bit stereotypical at times, and I feel like I've heard or seen these conversations before in the group of mean girls. Because there was so much emphasis on building them up in that stereotypical way, it didn't leave a lot of words for the ending, which is where they were really needed.

Overall: This was an interesting, quick read with a cool occult dynamic. I thought the characters were a bit stereotypical and the ending could have benefited more from the word count than building up the characters in that way. Overall, I enjoyed reading this though. Thanks again for sharing!

Best wishes,

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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .