*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4417218
Review #4417218
Viewing a review of:
 
RAINING IN THE GARDEN  [E]
A short poem of nature.
by Mary Ann MCPhedran
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hello Mary Ann,

I popped over to your profile to return your kind review favor and this beautiful nature poem of yours caught my eye.

You did a great job evoking images of the rain and the garden flowers soaking it up. I could picture the rainbow in the sky at the end too.

My favorite line was: "Lighting up the garden bright" as it made me smile and I could clearly picture it in my head as I read it.

Your poem is already very good, but if you are interested in improving it further, I do have some small suggestions for making it even better. If not, just know that your poem was enjoyed by me and stop reading. If so, keep reading. These suggestions are meant in the spirit of helpfulness. And they're just my opinions. Please take what serves you and toss what doesn't.

First, I'd recommend removing the "'s" on rainbow in this line: "But after rain there's a rainbow's in sight" because it's not plural or possessive. If you made that change the line would then look like this: "But after rain there's a rainbow in sight"

Then I would capitalize "have" in this line: "have closed their buds tight" because you have capitalized all the other lines in the poem (in other words, for consistentcy within your poem). If you made that change, the line would then look like this: "Have closed their buds tight"

Lastly, I'm not sure what the invalid item is meant to be? But I'd either fix or remove it. It's not really part of the poem, I'm guessing. Maybe an image?

In conclusion, I greatly enjoyed your poem. I hope you will write more nature/environmental poems and wish you every success in your writing!

May love, joy and peace be yours in abundance!
PWheeler

Super Neat Present from Super Power Reviewers Group. Thank you, Maryann and everyone!




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 06/01/2018 @ 5:51pm EDT
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4417218