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Review #4435397
Viewing a review of:
Behold, The Bread Tie Bandit  [E]
The Diabolical Case of the Missing Bread Tie
by ♥Hooves♥
Review by Emily
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*Candlev*


Hi ♥Hooves♥ ! I came snooping around your port today for something to review, and found this sweet piece, "Behold, the Bread Tie Bandit" about your fur baby, Boo! (how adorable is that picture, by the way! *Paw* *Heart*) Enjoy your account anniversary month as well as the rest of the birthday festivities happening around the site! *GiftV* *Bigsmile*

*StarB* I love your style of writing! This piece is short and sweet and perfectly cute! You really give a the reader a picture of your beagle and the mischief she gets into. the overall presentation of the piece was well-done also. The formatting, font, text size, title, genres, and description were all spot on!

*StarG* I only have a few suggestions for you. In the second paragraph, you use the word "little" three times in close proximity to each other. Especially in the second sentence of that paragraph, the two "littles" so close together was a little awkward to read. Perhaps remove one, or use a synonym? Also in that same paragraph, I believe the word x-ray should be spelled with a hyphen.

*StarB* Near the end of the piece, you have the sentence, "Six months went by and it was summer and we had company in the house and were visiting with them" which read to me like a run-on sentence with all the "ands." Perhaps this is your style, in which case it's totally fine, but you might consider rewording the sentence a bit.

*StarG* My favorite line in the piece was: "she was waiting for just such a moment to confess her crime and show us her treasure." Very clever and funny! *Laugh* I wonder where she had hit it? It was such a prized possession, Boo had to wait until esteemed company was over before she would present her gift. *Rolling*

Thank you for sharing your writing! Have a great anniversary month!

Take care,
-Emily

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