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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4435729
Review #4435729
Viewing a review of:
The Kingdom of Elveer  [E]
Bravery in the form of a little deer.
by Espero
Review by Emily
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*Candlev*


Hi Espero ! I'm taking a look in your portfolio today in celebration of your anniversary month! *GiftO* *Bigsmile*

*StarB* What an adorable poem! With the images you thoughtfully included, it feels like a children's book. Very well-done! I am a huge fan of your storytelling and rhyming! The young deer goes on a big adventure to save his family from the evil hunting of man and returns a hero! There is great potential for this story to expand into a book perhaps or a series at least *Smile*

*StarG* My only suggestions for you are related to formatting. I already love the story and emotion and images you've used in this poem, but I think there's more you can do. Perhaps centering the entire poem and images and upping the word size to size 4 might be a good idea. You could also think about using colored text to make the poem even more appealing to children?

*StarB* My favorite lines were many, but I've picked out a few here: "Our hiding place is quite secure, they won't find us here. / As long as you do stay still, there is nothing to fear.” and "The spell Black Wizard cast will no longer fill this land, / He broke the spell with words, and a motion of his hands."

*StarG* Thank you for sharing your writing! Happy account anniversary!

Take care,
Emily

For SuperPower Reviewers Group
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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 09/03/2018 @ 7:22pm EDT
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