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Review #4477709
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Katelynd’s 22nd Birthday  [E]
It’s my girl Katelynd’s 22nd birthday at the beginning of May.
by Hippity Hoppity Sharmy
Review by Emily
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*Candlev*


Hi Hippity Hoppity Sharmy ! Wow - your first account anniversary is coming up! Congratulations! *GiftO*

*StarB* Thanks for sharing this sweet poem about your daughter's birthday. It sounds from your poem that you and her do not get to see each other very often, which I know can be hard. I moved away from my family when I was 18, and have only seen them once or twice a year since then. It does make those times we are together that much more special though. I hope your daughter enjoyed the celebration you put on for her and the card you made - I'm sure it was lovely! And based on the date of this poem, it looks like your daughter's 23rd birthday is upcoming this year. Congrats to her!

*StarG* I did find this poem to contain quite a few repetitive phrases and words such as special, day, graphic, card, celebration, and again. Often, repetition is quite effective in poetry to help convey a message, but sometimes, it is better to think of another word or phrase so the repetition doesn't get in the way of the reader's comprehension of the piece. I would also encourage you to take a look at your line syllable count and meter. I am quite poor at this myself (hence the tendency to stick to free verse), but some lines for me felt awkward to read.

*StarB* My favorite two lines are the final two *Smile* Beautiful and loving message. Thank you for sharing! Take care,
Emily

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