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Review #4503175
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Rated: | (4.5)
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Hi concrete_angel. Good day to you.

I am ShelleyA and I am reviewing your poem "Invalid Entry"  in affiliation with our group "The WDC Angel Army" . Please note that this review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find it helpful.

**Title**:
Although haiku doesn’t usually have a title, this is a good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem. It sets the stage for it in its reflection of the theme’s intent — nature at sunset — while at the same time captures the essence of your poem as it acts as a portal to invites readers into it.

**First Impression**: For me, poetry opens the door of opportunity for the writer to explore different ways of presenting poetry and to do it in new and unique ways to stimulate readers even if we sometimes bend the rules of forms to make it our own. I'm a formalist poet and I love to read, write and create form poetry. I love short form poetry and this one is a fine example of it. A very good write capturing sunset that is short, concise and succinct. A skillfully crafted traditional haiku, perfect 5-7-5 form which I enjoy.

**Imagery**:
Imagery is good as are the descriptives. Good color and shading in your wording that promotes and evokes emotion through the sense of sight (observation). Through the lens of your eye you paint a vivid picture of sunset and the end of summer that any reader can appreciate and see in their mind’s eye. Nice use of personification: “the cicadas cry out”.

**Flow/Rhythm/Tone**:
Flow is good as is the line to line transition and breaks. Nice rhythm. Good depth of feeling; I like the implied farewell of summer’s passing. I like the ‘music’ that accompanies its departure through the sound of the cicadas, a lovely effect heard in nature expressing endings. Nicely done.

**Rhyme**:
Rhyme is not applicable in this piece.

**Word Choice**:
Word choice is very good; nice use of alliteration.

I especially like the following lines: because haiku is minimalistic poetry, I like all the lines of the poem. They contribute to the meaning and theme of this form of poetry.

**Spelling/Grammar/Punctuation**:
No spelling, grammar or punctuation errors found.

**Closing Thoughts**:
Overall, a vivid write capturing nature at the end of a day and season. Well penned and a most enjoyable read. Write on!


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