*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4503451
Review #4503451
Viewing a review of: {citem:}
Review of  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Ahoy, Lori!
I've been reading your stories for a few years now, and the one thing I've noticed most is how you've developed your own 'voice'. You writing is like no other's I've seen, and that's something I admire about you and you should be proud of! *ThumbsUpL*
OK. I thought this little FF piece wasn't bad. I like the idea of being trapped in an elevator with a stranger (as a prompt of course, not necessarily in real life!), and you did a really unique job with the prompt. But I do have to be honest: the ending was a little anticlimactic, or rushed. But considering the limited word count you had, I can't really fault you for that.
I do, however, think you should expand on this, perhaps at a later date. I think a week or so ago I actually allowed the contestants to do that, so you might want to hang on to this!
One tiny niggle (there's also at least one missing word in this, but I think if you went back over it you could spot it):
'..the future than I am a lucky man," he said.' (then)
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! Good to see you entering "SCREAMS!!!"  again, and have a terrifyingly terrific day!

GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen

My latest 'Angus' signature

*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 09/11/2019 @ 10:15am EDT
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4503451