Hello HikerAngel ! I'm reviewing "Invalid Item"  today from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  as an entrant into "Invalid Item" !


Keep in mind that I'm merely basing my review off of my own personal interpretation of your work and don't feel obligated to use any suggestions that may lie within. I consider myself a forever student and sometimes simply enjoy exploring new poetic devices I have learned when I notice them.

Hopefully, you'll find this review helpful and encouraging!


Overall Impressions:

I enjoyed the angry feel of this poem, the lashing out at the confusion of emotion in what must be a toxic relationship that holds a confusing passion.

The language used really pulls meaning in with fewer words yet paints such an elegance even with the angry brush.

With the passion felt yet the emptiness that seems to come with it, one has to wonder sometimes if they do really mean anything or if the good feelings are too fleeting to be worth the bullshit.

Conventions:

This is a free-verse poem though the lines are short and choppy using enjambment to add to feelings of anger and frustration in this poem.

Suggestions:

Minor nitpick about the capitalization at the beginning of each line. Some people do this on purpose. I do it on accident because google docs auto capitalizes so I just wanted to point it out in case it wasn't on purpose. It distracts from proper emphasis for me as a reader, but that's my personal reading style.

The title was a little misleading. I felt like we would be delving into the darkness of the 3rd person ("you") in this poem, but I felt it focused more on the main character's feelings of the 3rd person instead. Delving into their/his nihility more would fill out this poem if you keep the title.

The first half of the poem was a description of the physical while the 2nd half actually dove into the emotional aspects of the poem. This goes back to Star #2 above and the misleading title, I don't see the full connection. The title is great though, I admit that it just doesn't feel relevant to the poem as a WHOLE.


Favorite Parts:

The last two stanzas are my favorite. Those are the ones that delve deepest into the darker emotions:




Additional Comments:

I really love the language and love the feel of the writing in this poem. You've got a great framework for a dark poem here.

Keep on Writing!

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