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 Review #4542059 |
 | Office Drama  [E] There's always someone we love to hate  |
| (4.0)| Hello Ray Scrivener ,I'm Charlie ~ and I'm reviewing your item, "Office Drama" by Ray Scrivener , as part of "Invalid Item" . The following feedback is merely the opinion of a fellow writer/reader. Use what is useful to you and throw the rest away.   First Impressions: Yikes! I know someone who is exactly like this. He's totally harmless and a good guy, but he notices and talks about *everything* endlessly. Where'd you get it? When did you get it? How much was it? Was it on sale?" I mean, seriously...Such a sweet guy, but it's wild how irritating that can be after a while. I'm just like stop.talking.about.everything.  I also liked the ending of the story where the main character made things right after finding out the truth behind Harold. While he may be annoying, he's overall harmless so there's no real reason to go out of your way to make him lose his income. My Favorite Part: My favorite part of the story was when the narrator realized that they'd done to Harold was out of proportion and undeserved. The main character learned a lesson that people are always going through things, so you can't judge them too harshly without knowing the underlying reasons for their behaviors. Harold was using work as an outlet, and was likely lonely which explains why he was talking so much. It's still annoying as a worker to have to sit across from because it's distracting, but it's still nothing to get revenge over.I thought the dialogue and characters were well-written. I'd like to know a little more about the main character because it would help us connect to them more. Just a couple sentences of their background or the main character's name even will help reader's connect with the character.  Suggestions: I'd like to see more of Harold's antics. Like I said, I know someone who is eerily familiar to this character, but for readers who don't know anyone like this, it might be difficult to read in between the lines on why someone who talks a lot or mentions every single change that's made in the office can be grating. It might make readers confused about why the main character seeks vengeance over it.As I mentioned previously, I think the main character could be fleshed out a little more. It's a short story so there doesn't need to be too much added. Just a few details will round the character out well.  Conclusion: This was an interesting, quick read. It has a clear conflict and resolution. The main character learns his lesson and isn't bitter in the end despite losing his job. Thanks for sharing your writing.  Best, ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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