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Review #4544380
Viewing a review of:
Ooey Gooey  [13+]
For the SCREAMS! contest.
by Chibithulu (Alyssa)
Review of Ooey Gooey  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)


Hello there Chibithulu!

This is my personal view of the piece. The suggestions below and purely that: suggestions.

*Penw* Impression:
A nice, short, dark piece. It has a classic feel to it, I could see the film noise as I was reading it.

*Penw* Structure:
Clear-cut paragraphs. Clean.

*Penw* Favourite(s):
"Scrape, scrape, scrape." I love the repetitiveness of this, a very nice touch.

*Penw* Suggestions:
I would incorporate a bit more metaphor and synonyms for some of the repetitive wording. But that's just me. *Laugh*


Write on and prosper!

Cheers,
Lilliy



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