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Review #4546252
Review of We will survive?  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (2.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi Rondon! Mia here. I found your piece in “Read and Review a newbie” and I come in peace *BigSmile*

First Impression:
This poem has potential. I definitely liked the theme of nature and how we, as the dominant species, haven’t been caring for it like we should have.


Suggestions:
A few. In the second sentence of the first stanza, you write, “Hanging from a thread we we’re”. What do you mean? Did you mean ‘we’re’, as in ‘we are’, or were they both just mistakes? Because if you removed them, the poem would flow better. You also need a period after thread.

“And even though we forgot,
We chose to dare.”

The bold punctuation is what I think is needed, but this is your poem and it wouldn’t take anything away if you didn’t add them.

“Our disrespect for Nature,
Has become our fate.
Even though life seems perfect in paper,
We always find ourselves afraid.”

Same as before, just punctuation.

“Dance with the gods,
Dine with the devil.
Through hell we fought;
Now we are cursed for ever.”

Punctuation. And you can disregard the quotation marks, I just use that to make it easier to see.

Overall Impression:
Overall, I liked this poem. It had a really good message and I enjoyed reading it. I hope my review helped; I will be sure to read more *Smile*

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