Hello Chibithulu (Alyssa) !

I'm here with "Angel Review Forum"  for this review. You also entered into my contest for the May edition of "Inner Strength Contest " . Let's get rolling!

Corrections/Suggestions

First impressions- I really like how you took on the word of the month in Inner Strength with this poem. This literally uses 'overcoming' and shows us how it looks for you to take on this word. This is a great look into what you deal with and what overcoming anxiety might mean to you. I know I personally deal with it myself, it'll be very under control and then one day just render me a shaky mess another time. So, a great subject to explore in this department.

I feel like maybe line six could be tinkered with if you wanted to. Also, the last line it feels like it may want to move more than that last word. It feels like it could still continue, so I would say you could play with extending it if you wanted.

You could play with using some different words for 'overwhelm' if you wanted as well. Or, keep the repetition of it if you want. I enjoyed the alliteration you had.


Things Which I Enjoyed
To overcome the overwhelming
To overwhelm the obstacle

This was a great example of alliteration that you had within your poem. The repetition of the 'o' words and how they just build the message is a strong device that you use. I enjoyed being able to relate to this poem and how you took on anxiety and how to move past it. Or, try to get it to bend to your will and to overcome each day with it.


Overall Comments
Overall, this is a poem that takes on that word of 'overcoming' and does a good job with how to do that. I can relate to the subject that you wrote and just a few things to point out to play with in your poem if you wanted to. That is mainly maybe expanding this after the last line, it just feels like it may not want to stop with that last word but it may just be me. Thank you for entering my contest, I hope you see you again. Thank you for sharing and keep on writing! =D



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .