Hello 💙 Carly ,


Overall Impression:
I loved this story and it grabbed and kept my attention right from the first paragraph. The story is believable and realistic.


Characters:
The characters are great and I enjoyed the quick friendship that formed between Stella, Denise, and the main character (whose name I cannot find).


Dialogue:
The dialogue is good and feels natural.


Emotional Content:
When the main character turned down her boyfriend's proposal while at another friend's wedding was a scene that was easy to visualize. You know, it's said that when you're going to ask a very important question like in public the one Simon posed, you should already know the answer before asking it - to avoid a scene. Poor guy!


Grammar and Mechanics:
It had only been a week since Simon, my high school boyfriend and I had called it quits.
A comma is needed after 'my high school boyfriend' because as a coordinating conjunction it separates two independent clauses.

There are a few places here and there that may need commas.

No spelling errors were noted.

Closing thoughts:
I enjoyed this story a lot and wish you lots of luck in the contest!!!


Thank you for sharing your work.
Kindest Regards, Lilli

***Disclaimer***
The comments herein are just my humble opinions. Use whatever is useful; discard the rest. I'm not an editor, proof-reader, or any of the like. When I read and review, I am reading as a 'reader', to be entertained. I look to see how the piece makes me feel and if I can I visualize the story/poem in my head. You know your work better than anyone else! If I make a suggestion or a comment, it is meant in the spirit of 'helping' and I welcome the same when people review my work.



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .