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 Review #4569713 |
 | A love AS deep as the ocean  [E] Unconditional love  |
| (4.0)  Greetings, Jamaican Queen! I discovered this piece in Random Reviews. I also noticed you are new to WDC! Welcome! I hope you are enjoying the site! If you have any questions, please feel free to ask.  First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest.What I Liked  A love so deep like the ocean I absolutely love this line that you begin your poem with! Awesome opener! What a great comparison, too.Suggestions to Consider Just a minor suggestion here. I will use the following lines as an example and then you can decide if you like it or not:As the wind blows It soars throughout the day and night You might consider uncapping the I in the second line as it is a continuation of the line above it. It's not a must, but it does help it flow a little smoother.  If you like it, you might want to do the same in other areas where two lines are a continuation of each other. As the wind blows it soars throughout the day and night Final Thoughts Your piece describes what unconditional love is like and you've covered it nicely. You use words such as soar, eternal, unconditional, and everlasting along as phrases such as deep like the ocean, my heart smiles, and more than eternal. Very nice! Again... Welcome to WDC!  Have a great day and... K e e p on W r i t i n g ! Cubby ")
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