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Review #4570170
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Rated: | (4.5)
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Greetings, Lili J. - On/Offline! I discovered this piece in Random Reviews and am happy to review it. *Smile*


*Quill* First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest.


What I Liked

         *Bullet* I like the orange font. *Wink*
         *Bullet* I love the font size! *Smile*
         *Bullet* And though your poem is short, it's worded very nicely and has meaning. Sometimes less is more. I get weary at times when reading stanza after stanza, unless it's a story within a poem, that is. *Wink*
         *Bullet* You are consistent with using no punctuation, which sometimes I prefer. In this case, it works. *Smile*
         *Bullet* Your meaning is clear, your spelling is perfect, and the flow is smooth.
         *Bullet* I believe you are correct in saying that if you look in the right places, you'll find happiness! Good message!


Suggestions to Consider

         *Bullet* I have one observation worth mentioning in Line 3: You'll find happiness *Right* You'd find happiness Because the other lines are past tense, this line should follow suit. *Wink*
         *Bullet* Everything else looks great!


Final Thoughts

         Great hakui following the 5/7/5 line count! Something you might try just for the heck of it, is uncapping the first letter of lines 2 and 3.


Have a great day and...*Quill*
  K e e p on W r i t i n g !
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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 09/09/2020 @ 9:21am EDT
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4570170