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Review #4573193
Viewing a review of:
 Invalid Item  []

by A Guest Visitor
Review of My universe  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Dear Bluebird ,

"Invalid Item"  is a poem about a world within worlds. In that world/universe, this person gets to call all the shots. It is a self-affirmation mantra of sorts where people either get with the narrator or they are foe.

My favorite verse was the second where you assign these capabilities like superpowers. I almost wish the theme was less about your universe with more focus on these powers to detect enemies, be able to tune out voices, to vanish from reality.

I would change one word...'sans'. It didn't seem the right fit in that place where you could easily use 'no'. Otherwise, keep on writing and sharing more stuff.

Brian

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10th newbie review. All WDC Angel Army reviews for September complete. The views expressed in this feedback are my own.


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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 09/26/2020 @ 6:58am EDT
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