Here I discover a poem "Snowflakes"  with a narration that solemnly captures a nature scene that I wants to silently join. Good use of the short Japanese form to depict this spiritual winter setting. I'm entreated to snowflakes falling. The fact that they are doing so 'softly' implies a few things: quiet, either from the location, and/or the lack of wind. Snowflakes can twirl, swoosh and splash when things get turbulent, so in this one line a mood and scene were set.

The second line speaks expressively, which is perfect timing after the soft snow. It would do something to me too, this moment in nature where my soul and mind open up to the experience of that attuning harmony of a life form within nature.

This communion is not unlike experiences we've all had. I'm thinking closer to youth, when the experience was more noticed, reveled in and appreciated. It's rare that an adult would take time out for a moment like this. But, when one can make time, it's a blessing. Considering all of these things, a remarkable moment is occurring. It is a sublime feeling and well related to its audience.

The last line here could be anything. It is a reflection on the first two lines and probably the weakest link. What sweet mysteries did Mother Nature bestow. It's too broad and not refined enough for us to know. This line could have reflected a bit more on the narrator. Give us a clue why this scene. Show us something that links this soul reverberating in the outdoors, in the cold, where there is a new warmth and purpose. I can't assume what that ending might be. It feels we got short-changed, because the secret of nature was not revealed.

Perhaps, Mother Nature is overused and should be skipped over for something more mysterious and spiritual. It could be connected to the discovering mind. It's coalescing in this moment and learning something from the voice on that wind whispering in the ear. It could be funny like, 'the hot chocolate is inside.' Yeah, too many syllables. It could be poignant, "Your secrets are safe here." Still not thinking of syllables.

The fact that the scene is only described as snowfall might open the door to other nature scenes in that final line. The pines are the quietest place during snowfall. When protected from wind and elements, its like a hideaway in winter, just on the edge of a clearing. So many visions that could be considered to add. Even looking up at the snow falling directly into eyes, like being anointed by the Heavens. All of these are ideas I suggest to round out the meaning of this poignant moment shared.

It was a pleasure to read and comment on your haiku,

Brian








My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .