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Review #4578595
Viewing a review of:
 Uniformity  [E]
Would you live in a world with no differences? Please read and review!
by simpleye622
Review of Uniformity  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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Herein is a poem "Uniformity that plays upon a word in a line by defining it with another word, listing all the way down these feelings and associations that collectively speak but do not collectively coalesce a true theme for this loose construct. It's broad, is another way to put it.

This is about life, raw and unfiltered. A poem should be focused and certain of its viewpoint and what it wants to make a reader feel. We are all over the place with so many thoughts. I would suggest a single topic or theme to built associated feelings about. You could take any part of this poem, a line, and build an entire poem around it.

This is described as living in a world of differences. This poem hardly touched upon a very worthy subject in a very divisive time in history. And, it's something that has been building to this point in an election year. This poem could set up as the forbearer of that bad news: riots, hate, racism, bullies and politics, to name a few. But, the burdens it associates with are common to many, especially for those adults caught between their own kids and their parents who become a burden as they go beyond elderly.

The overall theme is not dismissed, however. I get that we have to appreciate that we live in a world when all of these issues suppress our own freedoms. I think it could be better expressed. I do not discount the effort it took to produce these thoughts. The proof of their meaning to readers is in the focus, structure and editing that follows to flush out the best of the author's intended meaning.

Brian

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