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Review #4583807
Viewing a review of:
 A BRAND NEW DAY.  [E]
This is an article I wrote after thinking about the blessing of every other new day.
by Mulungi
Review of A BRAND NEW DAY.  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Your title got my attention because I wanted to know what you meant about a brand new day.
Your description further intrigued me and stirred my curiosity more, I had to read your word art.

I really liked the blessings you wrote about along with having the gift and blessing of a brand new day. It was exciting to know how you feel about the LORD and I felt the uplifting spirit in your word art. *Smile*

A change that would add variety to your story is to use I less to begin the sentences. This would add variety, and keep the reader interested in reading.
For example, you could change this: I then smile and thank the LORD for the brand new day.
to this:
Smiling and thanking the LORD for the brand new day I... what how do you feel, what is important to you? What would you want to share about the LORD in this sentence?
or
The LORD puts a smile on my face for which I'm thankful.

I look forward to reading more of your word art. Thank you for sharing and allowing me to review for you. I wish you and your family safe travels and many blessings. Please keep writing. Let me know if you have any questions. I'll be glad to help.

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