I liked the ending. Nice twist and well-written without being telegraphed.

As far as story ideas go, there is little to complain about.

But your opening has a number of issues.

"Covered in the drizzle of London's weather (I know what you mean, but the execution is clumsy; maybe "Coming in from the drizzle..."?), a pair of footsteps caught the rapped rapt attention of every patron as they entered the local (local makes it seems like the person goes there often; that does not fit the story - "out of the way" works better, IMO) cafe. Situated beneath a railway bridge, this made the stranger's entrance more ominous as the foundations of the establishment were rattled by a passing locomotive.

Anybody the stranger looked upon felt compelled to return a submissive nod, for their blood ran cold in his prescience presence. Dressed in a large tan trench coat and scarf to conceal their (why "their"? you've already said him and his before) face, onlookers could see the paleness of their (and again) eyes."

It just needs a good edit and clean-up, really. Punctuation is generally fine.

Now, I will say I only review things I like here at WdC, so I like the piece, but it could be so much tighter.

Good luck going forward.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .