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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4625111
Review #4625111
Viewing a review of:
 The Hot Tub  [18+]
This is an event in the story of two lovers.
by storyreader
Review of The Hot Tub  
In affiliation with The Witch's House  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Wow! You've gotten 50 reviews! I've been told that erotic stuff is the most read, but least reviewed stuff on WdC. *Laugh* Though your item is shorter, so that might have helped as well. *Wink*

That first paragraph is a nice setup. *Smile*

Correction: Commas go on the inside of quotation marks. You placed them incorrectly a few times such as...
"My imagination is playing with me", he thought.
"Oh! It's hot!", said the same voice.

I love this part--Somehow, he knew that this would all go away if he opened his eyes.

It's great that we are left wondering if she was real or not. I prefer to think not because I don't want him cheating on his wife, but others might hope she was. Great ending to this piece! Very well done!

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