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Review #4627039
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Certainly didn't see that coming!
What an unexpected 'gift'. Aside from being quite weird and macabre, it isn't really for YOU is it, since you're not there to receive it by the time it's needed?

The poem flows well and the story unfolds as you tell it. The verse structure works for ease of reading.

Suggestions:
1. Writing ML - font, size, center, color ...
2. You haven't used all the line count. I think the poem could be longer. I'd have liked to see a 'concluding' verse to round it off. Maybe another verse with your reaction. I think the build up works well but the ending is a bit abrupt.
3. I don't usually interfere with a poet's punctuation, but this time I feel I must say this. The comma in the first line seems unnecessary. I read the line with and without it and it sounded better without to me.

Thanks for sharing this poem!

Write On!
Thanks, Gervic and Falguni!

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The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen


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