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Review #4628371
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by A Guest Visitor
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)



Hello hullabaloo22,

I am reviewing this story/poem for the following contest:
"Monsters Under The Bed - CLOSED"   by Lilith of House Martell

Prompt: "The North Wind Doth Blow"
1. Keep "poor thing" in the second line of your poem.

2. Maintain the Syllable count: 10, 10, 10, 10.
2a. You may write up to three stanzas, a total of 12 lines.

3. Put your own dark twist on the poem.
Your version can be mysterious, dark, or horror.

*Type* This review has no bearing on the outcome of the contest. Reviewing the entries gives me the opportunity to take a closer look.

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*Checkb* Overall Impression:

Great job with this poem! By changing a few words throughout, you were able to give this a dark twist - poor bird!

I especially like the third line! A race between nature, lava against bird; That is a fabulous line and gave great visual to the overall poem.



*Checkb* Grammar and Mechanics:

*No* - 10 syllables per line? Lines 1 & 3 each have 11 syllables. But this may have something to do with US vs Brit pronunciation, I'm guessing.
*Checkg* - "poor thing" kept in the poem?
*Checkg* - Does the poem have a dark spin?

No spelling or grammar issues were noted.

*Checkb* Closing thoughts:
As a small thank you for your entry, I am enclosing a few gift points.


Kindest Regards, Lilli

Thank you for sharing your work.



***Disclaimer***
The comments herein are just my humble opinions. Use whatever is useful; discard the rest. I'm not an editor, proof-reader, or any of the like. When I read and review, I am reading as a 'reader', to be entertained. You know your work better than anyone else! If I make a suggestion or a comment, it is meant in the spirit of 'helping' and I welcome the same when people review my work.

*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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