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Hello hullabaloo22, I am reviewing this story/poem for the following contest: "Monsters Under The Bed - CLOSED" by Lilith of House Martell Prompt: "The North Wind Doth Blow" 1. Keep "poor thing" in the second line of your poem. 2. Maintain the Syllable count: 10, 10, 10, 10. 2a. You may write up to three stanzas, a total of 12 lines. 3. Put your own dark twist on the poem. Your version can be mysterious, dark, or horror. This review has no bearing on the outcome of the contest. Reviewing the entries gives me the opportunity to take a closer look. Overall Impression: Great job with this poem! By changing a few words throughout, you were able to give this a dark twist - poor bird! I especially like the third line! A race between nature, lava against bird; That is a fabulous line and gave great visual to the overall poem. Grammar and Mechanics: - 10 syllables per line? Lines 1 & 3 each have 11 syllables. But this may have something to do with US vs Brit pronunciation, I'm guessing. - "poor thing" kept in the poem? - Does the poem have a dark spin? No spelling or grammar issues were noted. Closing thoughts: As a small thank you for your entry, I am enclosing a few gift points. Kindest Regards, Lilli Thank you for sharing your work. ***Disclaimer*** The comments herein are just my humble opinions. Use whatever is useful; discard the rest. I'm not an editor, proof-reader, or any of the like. When I read and review, I am reading as a 'reader', to be entertained. You know your work better than anyone else! If I make a suggestion or a comment, it is meant in the spirit of 'helping' and I welcome the same when people review my work. My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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