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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4648079
Review #4648079
Viewing a review of:
Springtime Jubilee  [E]
A celebration in Ottava Rima form
by Dave
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*Sun*Greetings Dave. I am happy to celebrate You with a review on behalf of "Poetry Review Garden [on hiatus].


*Flowerr*What a wonderful dream of spring and a great respite from watching snow fall and then rain from my window! LOL The title speaks to the joyful vibe of spring as a party. The image is appealing as it contrasts with the drudge of winter.

*Butterflyo* The Ottava Rima was a joy to read aloud with its effective rhyme, rhythm count and flow. The rhyming words were interesting too, like "Knoll", "soul" and "Hope" "Nope". The word nope made me smile as it had a solid emotive vibe to it! *Smile* The rhyme scheme was perfect and I am sure it took time to get right.

*Dragonflyb* The imagery is vivid with clear descriptive words that reveal the flowers, the scent, the joy of spring. I thought the "gilding nearby knoll" was unique. I wondered about the need of the article "a" or "the" before "nearby" yet it did not detract from the imagery and flow and provided some alliterative magic to the soundscape.

*Flowerp* Your use of assonance and consonance enhanced the flow and elegance of the poem. {eg. like "trill and guilding." It was such a pleasant and positive vibe. Word choices were vivid and apt. For example, "drudge" gives the impression of the heaviness of winter and provides a contrast to the jubilance of spring. "trill" is a joyful word to me and idea of {"wraps" and "washes" makes me imagine being surrounded and enchanted by nature of the spring spirits.*Fairy*

*Butterflyr* Your first line has a finality to it (the past) and then you bring us to the present with the 'Now' in line 2. The present tense brings immediacy and is perfect for the work. *Thumbsup* You leave the reader to consider their own ideas about the blahs of winter...and move on quickly. *Sun* Awesome.

*Sun* I felt like skipping along on the hill, smelling the flowers and twirling in the sunshine! Lovely.

*Flowerb* The punctuation worked well. I liked how you interrupt the glory of the scene with a question, inviting us into your feeling about spring.

*Star*Thanks for sharing such a lively tribute to spring with your expert crafting! Can't wait for spring. Daffodils are a favourite of mine too!

Write on in your style!
eyestar
In affiliation with "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 02/19/2022 @ 12:50pm EST
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