I must admit when I started I was not excited to finish but I did and I am so glad I did. You almost had me crying there when Trevor died.

I really like how you mixed real life with the supernatural. You did this very well.

Your explanations are awesome. You kept a consistent point of view.

May I suggest keeping the actions and the speaking of the same person together? Let me explain

"Just sit still, don't talk."

Billy stood in the middle of the kitchen and reached his hand outwards towards a kitchen tap. With purpose, he summoned a stream of water and shaped it into a wad of what looked like bandages.

The above could be together rather than separated.

"Just sit still, don't talk."

Billy stood in the middle of the kitchen and reached his hand outwards towards a kitchen tap. With purpose, he summoned a stream of water and shaped it into a wad of what looked like bandages.

I didn't notice any grammar issues.

I believe there is something else but I can't seem to place a finger on it.

Very good job and keep up your awesome writing! My rating explanation is in the explanation of my review style.

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