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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/newsletters/action/archives/id/10214-Community-Comedy.html
Comedy: June 10, 2020 Issue [#10214]




 This week: Community Comedy
  Edited by: Ԝ€ß☆ԜiʈCH
                             More Newsletters By This Editor  

Table of Contents

1. About this Newsletter
2. A Word from our Sponsor
3. Letter from the Editor
4. Editor's Picks
5. A Word from Writing.Com
6. Ask & Answer
7. Removal instructions

About This Newsletter

New Halloween sig



2020 is hitting its half-way point. Our lives have changed suddenly, unexpectedly. In this Newsletter, we will enjoy some community humor that has been passed on to all of us.



Word from our sponsor

ASIN: B00KN0JEYA
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Letter from the editor

Hello folks! Welcome to the June edition of the Comedy Newsletter.

Do you believe the year from Hades is approaching the half-way mark of being O-V-E-R? I think a majority of us will be happy to goodbye to 2020. But we are here, now, trying to find some semblance of normalcy. Just when it seemed to be within reach as hair salons started opening again and roots, beards and shaggy hair got tended to as soon as possible. Nobody really wants to know what's under all those highlights, low lights and whatever our natural hair color used to be. It's the job of a professional hair stylist to make it go away or blend in better. We found out quickly that next to a mechanic and plumber, who keep our cars and toilets in working order, a hair stylist is the person we missed most of all to help us return to our perceived self-image. My timing is lousy since I cut my own hair one week before hair salons were allowed to open. *Shock2*

I was feeling unfunny the other day on the Newsfeed, and requested members to send me some one-lines, or funnies that would help bring others some humor. Below you will find some of their contributions. Lifting spirits sometimes takes a village! *Ha*


Community Contributions!


Lilli ☕ still Quilling
“Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool, so I gave him a glass of water.”


He’s Brian K Compton 18 year (On a Rolllll! *Ha*)
“ Do you suppose they replaced the word dump with landfill because it sounded too trashy?”
“If there were a professional Solitaire league I'd finish in first place.”
“If you need people to give you space at work, just have a melt down. It worked for me.”
“I tell you I want to move mountains for you until the moment I'm told it needs to be done.”


R.E. Pete
“Talking to you is like beating my head against a dead horse”



Prosperous Snow Valentine
“Don't just do something, stand there.”


🌷GeminiGem🦊
“Did you hear about the agnostic, dyslexic insomniac?
He was awake all night wondering there really was a dog.”



runoffscribe
“I cried when I wrote this, then I sat back down and fixed it.”


Silverwindrose Dragon Minstrel
OK so this is not so much a one liner as much as a reaction to my 13 year old son causing stress. Grant it he was just trying to show off and one up his friends but it was getting on my nerves that day so as he was getting ready to go chase down his friends I simply said:

"Just because you have one you don't have to be a dick."
There was a pause of silence then I watched as my son fell to the ground with laughter he laughed for a good 2 minutes but I knew when done I had hit a mark that sank home.


DRSmith
“My local restaurant finally opened up and I was gonna give the surely new waitress a nasty look... but she already had one!”


The above members each received a "Newsletters" Merit Badge. *Bigsmile* Thank you so much for your responses!



And, not to be a fuddy-duddy ,here are some of my favorite one-liners seen around Social Media and the Interwebs! *Rolling*

This morning a cop pulled me over for speeding. He told me, "I've been waiting for you all morning!" "I replied I got here as fast as I could!."
He didn't give me a ticket

The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.

If you're not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator?

I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.


*WitchHat* *WitchHat* *WitchHat*



I hope you had a few chuckles, folks. Many thanks to all those who participated in the making of this Newsletter with their puns, one-liners and humorous moments!

It's a One-Line Wrap for this edition of the Comedy Newsletter.

Until next time--laugh hard, laugh often!




This is one of my new sigs


















Editor's Picks

s
I Killed Grandma  (13+)
The dangers of poor punctuation exploded!
#1737106 by s

&
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1736518 by Not Available.


🌷GeminiGem🦊
 
STATIC
Be Careful What You Wish For  (E)
The chickens want what they believe will be a better life...
#2165360 by 🌷GeminiGem🦊

&
STATIC
Buddy and Sally Run For Mayor  (13+)
New writer gets sent on assignment to a tiny mountain town.
#2145742 by 🌷GeminiGem🦊


Words Whirling 'Round
A whole bunch of 1liners!
 
STATIC
He Said / She Said  (13+)
People say the darndest things!
#2218747 by Words Whirling 'Round


Sum1
BOOK
Smile! (Groan?) You Know You Love These!  (ASR)
Want to smile at least once a day? Then read these! Okay, maybe you'll groan some too...
#2177903 by Sum1

Lots and Lots of one-liners & Groaners!


 
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Ask & Answer

AJBurchell- Australia

I enjoyed the News Letter *Delight* I've given up dieting until after lockdown... I've just made a great brew of pea and ham soup and we are enjoying that' with fresh bread mini loaves.

Yummy!!! Love ham and Pea soup! You made me hungry -- gee, thanks. *Sob* *Laugh*

SB Musing

Before my little incident down a flight of stairs I would do about 6-10 miles a day, or more, sometimes calculating in at 30k steps. Now, not so much, but I have an injury to nurture and baby or else then it gets worse. Round is most certainly a shape! *Laugh* And the wardrobe is true, my jeans are shunned to the back of my closet.

I hear ya, kiddo! I'm constantly nurturing my arthritic joints. *Rolling* Nobody tells us when we're young that all those sports we played would come back to haunt us in a very painful way! I have 2 new hips which are young enough to do lots of stuff I love doing. Except, now my back and knees are yelling at me! *RollEyes*





Thank you for your feedback! We Editors really love it!

See you next time,

*Witch*

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