This week: It Doesn't Work Like That! Edited by: Kit of House Lannister  
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What annoys you when books, series or movies get it wrong? Creativity is a great thing... but stuff still works how it works.
This week's Action/Adventure Newsletter is all about that balance between creativity and reality.
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“I don’t want to do it,” he said.
Gabrielle stared at him for a long minute, before shrugging her shoulder. “Very well.”
Have you ever stared at someone for a minute? For several minutes even, as some characters apparently do? If you count out the seconds as they pass, you’ll realise just how long Gabrielle is staring at that guy. It’s a seriously uncomfortable amount of time.
These situations can drag me kicking and screaming out of a story I had happily nestled into. The reason is that it’s not realistic. I don’t want to sit here reading a book and counting seconds in my head to see if something even makes sense. I want to be there with the characters, sharing their experiences as the story unfolds.
Anna touched her cheek. It was wet. She hadn’t even realised that she was crying.
Okay, so, perhaps that can happen to some people. I don’t know. I’m a full-on ugly face crier, generally speaking. At the very least I definitely notice when there are tears streaming down my face and that tends to be when the sniffles set in.
She looked in the mirror and turned this way and that. What she saw was a young woman with shoulder-length brown hair. Big, worried eyes the colour of the ocean. She didn’t have a bad body, she thought. Nice hips, a slender waist. Blah blah... Etc.
No. No. Please no. Not the mirror scene… Does anyone ever describe themselves mentally like that when they look at their reflection? I look in the mirror when I brush my hair or clean my teeth or to check that my outfit isn't completely ridiculous. I do not sum up my various body parts and facial features. Yet, writers all too often use a scene like this as a way of telling their readers what a character – usually a woman - looks like.
It may seem like a natural way of doing so. Convenient. Unfortunately, I am far from the only person who thinks oh no, not this again, and who will wonder what other overused tricks are in store for them. You can recover from it, of course, but it is not the best way to a reader’s heart.
Then there is the more action-specific stuff that does not work like that. For example, placing a rag drenched in chloroform over someone’s nose and they pass out almost immediately. I don’t want to give any illegal tips here but if you want to use this (also rather overdone) trick in your action story, please know that that’s not what would happen in reality. Don’t worry, I am not talking from experience here. I’m just talking about the science.
Or there’s an explosion and the hero/heroine get thrown into the air. They’re a bit shaken but otherwise unharmed. Soon, they are in a discussion about what happened. Or about how lucky they are that they got out of there in time. They aren’t unconscious. Not even dazed and confused. They’re not suffering from any pain. They haven’t lost their hearing. There’s not even a slight ringing in their ears…
Perhaps I place unrealistic expectations on the books that I read. I know that I can be picky. I also know that I am far from a great writer myself. We’re all learning – each and every one of us, even bestselling authors. My favourite author, Terry Pratchett, grew and evolved as a writer over the years. Hopefully I have highlighted a few things to avoid, though. Do you agree with my observations?
Kit of House Lannister
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Action/Adventure: March 10, 2021 Issue [#10643]
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