This week: You Know You're Getting Old When... Edited by: Kit of House Lannister  
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From grey hairs to protesting knees, age will do its thing, whether you like it or not!
This week's Drama Newsletter is all about getting older.
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It was a few years ago, but I remember it clearly. I looked in the mirror and there they were: two white hairs. Not one, but two, as though to really rub it in.
Still, I could have accepted those two hairs. Named them, even, allowing them an individual existence – a part of me, yet separate. It could have been considered a truce. But the days of my youth were over.
The hairs were followed by the sore back. The sore back by the less-than-flexible knees. Three years ago my optician told me that when you get to a certain age, you’re likely to need reading glasses at some point. Late last year I was, indeed, prescribed reading glasses.
I’m hearing this more often now. As you get a bit older. Once you get to a certain age. They aren’t words I am happy to hear, I can tell you that. I want to tell those people that it’s too soon. I am not old. Not yet! And I am not. Despite the unsubtle signals my body’s decided to send me, I am only in my forties.
It makes me think of how old I felt when I reached 30. How little did I know… Now I feel too young to be as-you-get-oldered, but nobody’s listening. When I look in the mirror these days I don’t look the way that I do in my own mind. It helps, slightly, when others tell me that I look young for my age, but deep down I suspect that they say this to be kind. It’s what you do, isn’t it? Tell kids how big they’re getting and tell older people how youthful they appear? I guess we’re never quite satisfied with where we’re at.
A part of me looks forward to 50. I’ve heard that the age of 50 comes with some magical powers – at least, when you’re a woman. You can walk along the street, so I am told, and be completely invisible to others! Nobody considers you worthy of their notice… It makes me think of a scene in the TV series Grace and Frankie, when the ladies (both in their 70s) spend a long time attempting to get the attention of the guy behind a shop counter, as they want to purchase something, but he’s too busy flirting with a young woman. Grace and Frankie is a wonderful series, by the way. It’s funny, and sweet, and it doesn’t shy away from the realities of life as an older person.
I think that my personality, too, has changed. I used to be competitive, ambitious, had some sharp edges that have smoothed with time. I no longer care about climbing a career ladder, let alone about making it to the top. Sure, I have plans and goals, but they’re mostly about settling into a nice little cottage in the middle of nature, where I can grow some fruit and vegetables and continue my studies, surrounded by peace and (relative) quiet. That whole world of people stepping on other people in order to advance in their field holds zero appeal to me.
As writers, it is important to weave these subtle and less-subtle changes into our characters’ lives. A 50-year-old won’t be the same as a 20-year-old, nor will they be the same as a 70-year-old. That doesn’t mean that they will be completely different, of course. I still have many of the same tastes and interests as I did when I was younger, and I am pretty certain that in another 20 years’ time I will still love many of the same books, music, movies and games. Just… things change. People change. I know that I am far from old yet, but I must face reality. I’m not getting any younger!
What has changed for you as you’re growing older?
Kit of House Lannister
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Drama: May 05, 2021 Issue [#10754]
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