This week: Show Yourself Some Love Edited by: Lilith of House Martell  
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"Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minters, including you.
~ Anne Lamott
"I have come to believe that caring for myself is not self-indulgent. Caring for myself is an act of survival.”
~ Audre Lorde
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Writing takes a certain amount of discipline and lots of practice. While in the midst of a writing frenzy, we forget to take care of ourselves in the process. Things like eating or drinking healthy food/drink and exercising are often overlooked. Sometimes we write ourselves into a corner and think we have writer's block when we actually might just need a break for some self-care.
Guess what we are going to talk about this week? Yup, self-care! Sit back, take a deep breath, and ask yourself what you need right now. If you find yourself struggling to come up with self-care practices, review the ideas and examples below; with the hope they will be useful for us all.
 Take a Break
Graham Wallas explained in his book (The Art of Thought, 1926) that creativity is a four-stage process: preparation, incubation, illumination, and verification.
 Preparation
This is where you gather information and do your research.
Incubation
Take a break and allow your mind to wander and contemplate your findings. Nurture the unconscious thought process by staying open to the ideas that come to you while you do the dishes or go for a walk. Open your mind to all ideas, even if they sound like crazy ones. Don't take the incubation period for granted. It is a big part of the creative process.
Illumination
This is your "aha!" moment. Just remember though, it is still a process and not a 'moment'. take a step back from the problem and allow your mind to wander to let it contemplate and work the problem through.
Verification
This can also be referred to as the implementation of your "aha" moment. This is where the thought takes root and gets nurtured through evaluation, analysis, and building on it.
Read
As writers, we all know the importance of reading. Reading helps us develop our skills and increases our knowledge. But remember to enjoy it, don't look at it like a job, and overanalyze what you're reading. This is about taking a break and just being part of the audience.
Try New Things
If you haven't already, check out Julia Cameron’s book, The Artist’s Way. She talks about scheduling yourself an "Artist Date". This is a time when your refill your creative well by engaging in doing something you love and or exploring something that interests you.
Support
If you're reading this, that means you have found one of the BEST support groups for writers that I have ever run across. Writing can be a lonely experience because it's a solitary activity. Seeking out connections with fellow writers is crucial to our well-being and creative process. Only another writer can truly understand the struggles we go through with our writing. Some ways we can offer fellow writers support is through joining groups and activities, reading each other's work, reviewing, and mutual friendship.
Self-care doesn't mean you are being selfish. We need to recharge our own batteries so that we can give back to others in the community and in our life. If self-compassion is a foreign concept to you, consider how you’d support a friend or loved one. Chances are you’d treat them gently and with love. So take that perspective and apply it to yourself — especially if you’re experimenting with a new self-care routine. As with learning any new skill, self-compassion is a process. There are no instant, quick fixes. It’ll take practice, patience, and time before you’ll get to where you want to be.
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Comments received from my last Romance/Love Newsletter, "Writing Your First Romance" :
Elisa the Bunny Stik  wrote:
I tried reading this newsletter at least twice, but I was not successful. As soon as I saw "boy meets girl", my brain slammed on the brakes. Why? Well, why is it always "boy meets girl"? Why can't it be "girl meets boy"? I actually found a book that kind of meets that requirement: The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang. I'm still waiting to get my copy in the mail, but I admit it's the first romance book I've actually wanted to read because it subverts many of the guidelines presented here. The woman is taking the initiative. Her motivations are atypical thanks to her being autistic (hooray!). That motivation drives a plot that emphasizes all facets of her disability and skewers the friends-to-lovers trope. I'll know more once I read it, but even the premise on its face excites me because it actually is different enough from the formula to resonate with me. Because while the typical romance reader is potentially not that diverse, I can assure you that readers of this newsletter are definitely diverse and don't always want what the formula has to offer.
Thank you for this valuable feedback! The book you mention sounds good and I'll have to get my hands on a copy, as well!
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Romance/Love: May 31, 2023 Issue [#11987]
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