  Comedy
This week: Edited by: Robert Waltz  
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"I had thought — I had been told — that a 'funny' thing is a thing of a goodness. It isn't. Not ever is it funny to the person it happens to. Like that sheriff without his pants. The goodness is in the laughing itself. I grok it is a bravery... and a sharing... against pain and sorrow and defeat."
- Valentine Michael Smith
(Robert Heinlein,
Stranger in a Strange Land) |
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Back in the days when I occasionally watched television, in a long-ago land when some people still had rabbit ears (and TVs had antennas built in), I was lying on the couch like a slug waiting for Wheel of Fortune to turn into Jeopardy. Or maybe it was the other way around. It doesn't matter, because they interrupted the network programming to bring us an important news item: The station, which at the time was the only one in the town, was switching to a larger, more powerful transmitter, so people 'way out in the country could pick up their signal.
The dead-serious news announcer came on to say this, then went live to a local posh restaurant / inn, kind of the local version of the Ritz Carlton (only, I've dined at the Ritz Carlton, and this place is but a pale shadow; in other words, us normal folks might get out of there without a second mortgage). All the bigwig rich folks were there, milling around a particularly rich, elderly couple, the husband of which was the nominal owner of the TV station.
There was the predictable buildup, as the "reporter" "interviewed" several people, all of whom were, naturally, so excited about the switch to the bigger, better, faster, zappier transmitter that they had nearly soiled their Mercedeses getting there. When it came time to make the change to the super-transmitter, somebody in a bit more working-class attire came out from behind the camera with a Rube Goldberg style contraption in hand. He handed it to the reporter, who said something like, "And our engineers [thus explaining the working-class attire - ed.] have rigged up a switch that will transfer our signal from the older, lame-ass antenna, to the shiny new 50 million watt powerhouse so that we may broadcast our mind-controlling signal to a much wider audience, muhuhahahahahaha!" (Okay, yes, I'm paraphrasing here; it was a LONG time ago).
He handed the switch, which was jury-rigged with wires and such sticking out everywhere that, these days, the inn would surely have been evacuated and the SWAT team rushed in to save all the rich people from the obvious terrorist threat, to the white-haired owner of the TV station, who handed it with great fanfare to his silver-haired wife.
Someone started a drumroll. The people at the inn started a countdown. Tension built and built until no one could take it anymore, and I was anxious to have it over with so I could at least catch the last 10 minutes of Jeopardy. The announcer went on and on about how this simple switch would turn them from a podunk, small-town TV station to the most powerful signal in the state, improving coverage, etc., etc.. Finally they reached, "Two! One!" and the nice lady pulled the switch...
And the screen went completely blank, and the sound went completely silent.
And stayed that way for half an hour.
I was still chuckling when the picture came back on, starting up in the middle of some stupid sit-com rerun. I turned it off, then. It had been the most entertaining half-hour of TV I'd seen since they cancelled M*A*S*H.
It's all about the buildup. |
While accidental comedy is often the best, most of us have to work at it.
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Seen anything funny lately? Or ever? Send me your stories and/or pictures. The truer, the better.
From last issue:
Lorien  : I thought you were going to make fun of Mia this issue. And then, your shooting joke wasn't even about Dick Cheney...hate to say it, Robert, but I think you're slipping.
*picks self up* only because you put the banana peel there. 
billwilcox: As usual, Rob, a good setup, followed by a punchline. Thanks for sharing, and hey, by the way, throw ME a bone every now and then
*sigh* Okay, everyone go read Bill's stuff. 
Mavis Moog : Even we English miss the second u in humour, when there is a suffix. So humorous is right with us 
Great newsletter. I loved that joke when I first heard it.
One of my favourite jokes has to be,
"Winnie the Pooh.....that was a particularly vindictive chapter in the autobiography of Nelson Mandela."
As hyperbole has been one of the ingredients of humour for a long time, I will be utterly transfixed by your views on it  .
As Mavis figured out, "hyperbole is the worst possible literary device in comedy" was a recursive joke
Mariposa : [referring to my assertion in my last newsletter that "putting a duck in a joke makes it funnier] All I have is a duckling, sorry. But here's one more comment for you. I always take pleasure in participating in showing Mia up.
Quack!
Lauriemariepea : how could i possibly resist such an invitation to comment? although, while i have no duck to offer you, i do have a goose with your name on it. 
great job so far on the newsletters--
Honk!
alyssa91075: I haven't changed my mind yet.
Spoken like a true Minion of Waltz.
Frederick : I enjoyed your newslatter. I'd like to add, more as a question perhaps than a profound insight, that isn't seriousness required for good comedy, even a joke? To me what made Frasier so classic was how serious all the charcters were about what they were doing or confronting. The joke you offered is very funny, but the protagonist is serious in his plea for help. It's not a joke to him, and for me that makes it all the funnier. Does this make any sense?
Good point. As illustrated by my anecdote above, sometimes it's the most serious situations that lend themselves to laughs.
Red Writing Hood <3  : Tosses Daffy Duck at Robert's feet. Shhhhhh... don't tell Warner Brothers, but I wanted you to have a duck.
Just tell him you know where that dittthhhpickable rabbit is and - oh, and that you have a plan for taking down said rabbit - he'll follow you anywhere.
If Daffy went up against Donald... who would win?
spazmom : oh please...lol. I didn't send you any jokes because I only know one that I tell and my kids are tired of hearing it. Unfortunately, I'm not sure how well it will do in print, instead of out loud, but I'll send it to ya anyway. ;)
Heard it before, but keep trying!
dogfreek21: Robert, how could I throw in a ducky? I might hurt it!!!  Poor wittle ducky...
Comedy ducks are indestructible and always bounce back. C'mon, what are they teaching puppies these days? Sheesh.
Sara♥Jean  : Aww!  No one can receive more comments than Waltz! Seriously, though, great newsletter, my friend. Amusing, as always.
My Minions are the best Minions!
Shyanne Elaine Miller : Now I know I am not necessarily following the rules of writing you the joke, but this is the best I can do right now and I hope you'll at least read it. No one else thinks it's funny, but everytime I think about it I get kicks: A man walks into a bar, and falls.
lol,
Shyanne
That's right. No one else thinks it's funny, because it is a pun. Only the teller of the pun gets to think it's funny, which is completely backwards from the rest of humor. The version I know, though, may make it easier for people to understand: Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks. (see? a duck.)
... and elizm446 still got more comments than I did. I give up. *sends six dozen baby ducks to elizm446 in abject surrender* |
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Comedy: May 09, 2007 Issue [#1701]
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