  Spiritual
This week: Words Have Power Edited by: Kit of House Lannister  
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Words can build someone up and tear someone down. Words have power. We should use them with care.
kittiara |
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My boyfriend’s mother is into affirmations. She believes that if you focus on positive thoughts – whatever positive thought you need at the time – that positive things are far more likely to happen. It sort of makes sense to me. If you want to achieve something, and your thought patterns are negative, your motivation goes down and you are less likely to succeed than when you go into it picturing the outcome you desire and believe that you will get what you want.
She made me these little cards to keep with me. The idea is that you pick one and repeat the affirmation to yourself. They’re really cute. She drew pictures on them and they have sayings like “I am worthy” and “I deserve to be loved”. She must have thought I needed some positivity in my life, and I reckon she is right because what’s struck me is how quickly my mind rejected these sayings. It’s brought home to me that I have some serious issues with my self-image.
If words can build people up, they also have the power to destroy. If you’re on the receiving end of lots of negative comments, sooner or later you’ll internalize them and it takes hard work to get those words out of your system and replace them with positive ones.
It doesn’t help that negative comments have a tendency to stand out more. Example – you’ve placed a new item in your portfolio. Ten people review it. Nine say that they enjoyed it, but the tenth says that it’s the worst piece they have read in a long while and that you really should stop writing. As much as you want to dismiss the negative, be honest… does it not make you question whether the other nine genuinely enjoyed your item, or if they were just being nice? Imagine if that was the first item you’d placed on the site. Would it make you hesitate to put up a second? In case that reviewer was right, in case you’ll receive more reviews like that?
Maybe you’d report the review for being unconstructive. Maybe you’d ask the reviewer for clarification. Maybe you’d simply delete the email, but it’s likely that it will sink in in some way. It’s like going to a party, and you’ve done your best to look good, and you receive some smiles and compliments, but just after you’d had a chat with a couple of people and you walk away, you overhear one of them say, “He/she looks rubbish tonight”. I think quite a few of us would go in search of a mirror to see what they mean, despite the positive feedback received from others.
The thing with positive thoughts is that you have to believe them. You have to have faith that what you are thinking is true. If you don’t, the best you can hope for is that if you repeat them often enough, they will sink in eventually and you’ll be able to get some benefit from them.
It’s strange that positive thinking can be such hard work, when negative thinking can be so easy. Why is it simpler to believe the worst, rather than the best?
Words have power. Use them well.
kittiara
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☮ The Grum Of Grums  - Agree completely about the "witchhunt", kittiara. In Australia they're referred to as 'dole bludgers" but the insult is the same. The government bleats about "mutual obligation" but it's so one-sided as to be almost meaningless.
Two other groups get singled out for bigotry and condemnation; Aboriginal Australians and so-called "boat people". But don't start me on this, or I'll be here all night!
Thank you for your editorial; this needs to be said, regrettably, repeatedly.
I know how you feel, I can keep going on about it as well, once I start! It's a shame that it seems to be the same everywhere. You'd think that, as people, we'd have moved past treating others like that...
~~~
njames51 - Great newsletter. Send me your e-mail and I'll give you the details in-depth about how the U.S.A.'s governmental crushing machine works. It's a step-by-step journey into paperwork hell, followed by appeal committees, and referral notices leading to more agencies where the paperwork and "prove how poor you are - or how injured you are" requirements suffocate even the bravest of souls.
Feel free to mail me here! It sounds very similar to the system here - an absolute nightmare! It's no wonder some people simply give up.
~~~
Zeke - While I agree completely that people with disabilities are given a lot of bad publicity, I believe that those few who do take advantage of the system are to blame.
I respectfully disagree with that. I think that demonising the vulnerable simply makes it easier for the powers that be to target them. Turn the tide against them, and who is going to complain? It's all about availability heuristics. If people with disabilities come to equal potential frauds in people's minds, they become an easy target, and big business deals are done on the back of them. A fraud rate of 0.3 percent can be said to be 0.3 percent too much, but it's less than is lost financially through official error. The amount of money lost through fraud, at least here in the UK, is a lot less than is spent on targetting it as well. So it doesn't even make sense from a financial point of view, let alone from a moral point of view, as the other 99.7 percent are made to suffer. Meanwhile, the companies who got the deals to do the checks are raking in the cash. £100,000,000 a year is not bad going!
~~~
hebxii - Dear Kittiara,
Thank you for a great newsletter. I think if we "spiritual" people do not stand up and speak for those values and principles that are so important to our hearts, then we should be ashamed. I live in the States and some of our politicans would love to "save money" by taking benefits away from those less fortunate. I would rather give money to some wastrel than deny benefits to all to prevent that, thereby leaving those who want to succeed with no alternatives for themselves and their families.
Blessings,
Elaine \o/
Thank you, Elaine! I fully agree!
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ANN Counselor, Lesbian & Happy  - Thank you for the important message about how we should and must 'see' and relate to those less fortunate than we are. I thought GB did far better taking care of the least among the people, with national Health Care, but you've reminded us that there's still a problem. The US Social Security system is so wonderful in that it not only is there for the over 65 person but for those who are unable to work at any age to receive SSI, special monthly payments after disability is determined. Sadly, US has too many 'homeless' people on the streets trying to survive, and too many on drugs as 'homeless, disable' who won't take care of themselves. But we don't trash them, at least good people don't.
No, good people don't. And it's sad that some people are so lost in life, that it's really difficult to help them. I think we should look at the causes, and try to remedy them, rather than demonise those who have fallen through the net.
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Joy  - Thank you for this NL, Kittiara.
What you are saying is so timely not only for UK but also for USA and a good number of other countries. It is as if the economies would improve if the vulnerable is thrown to the thrash. My guess is quite the opposite happens because I believe the universe is just in its essence.
Thank you. I feel the same way!
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Steve adding writing to ntbk. - Honored to see my piece included in the choices this newsletter.
Your topic today was worthy of discussing in the newsletter and thanks for doing so.
Reviewed your suggested pieces and let them know they came from this newsletter.
Keep up the good work sharing here and in the other ways you participate in the life that is real in the WdC.
Copenator out!
Leader of Copenator's Crew and the SGDG
Thank you, as always, Copenator!
~~~
richardhead - Hello Kittiara,
"but I do know that I should treat people as I want to be treated, and that to trample all over the needs of others does not do me any good. If I want to be a person worthy of respect, I should be respectful in turn."
What a wonderful world this would be,"IF", we all would practice what you have concluded with? Thanks, Marlin
I can dream! It's unlikely to happen, but hope springs eternal .
~~~
Incurable Romantic - Kitti, your newsletter "Home, Sweet Home" was excellently written, heartfelt, and could not have been better. It touched me deeply and has set me thinking about where my home is, and where I want it to be. Are they the same right now? That's what I have to decide. I thank you for a very wonderful, thought-provoking piece. I'm glad you enjoy being at Writing. I enjoy each and every one of your newsletters, and this was one of the best. - Jim
Thank you so much for your kind words, Jim. I hope that you have reached a conclusion .
~~~
speidoman  - Kittiara--
After reading your article about the British television show, I had to write, for I live in the States (the United States, that is...) and racism is pretty strong here. Although we voted for Barack Obama almost 4 years ago, there are some who don't wish him well, especially Republicans, who are mostly Caucasian. He is black, born of a Kenyan father and they are claiming he is not fully American and fit to be president. He was born in Hawaii to a Caucasian mother, and is fully qualified to be our leader. As you stated in your Letter from the Editor, we are in election frenzy over here and I am a loyal democrat. Some of our states are trying to change the voting laws to discriminate against the poor, the disabled and the minorities. I oppose racism in every form, and wish there were something I could do to stop it from happening.
I wish the same. I think the best thing we can do is to not be that kind of person, and to question it whenever we encounter it.
I've always thought that the questions about President Obama's background were rather unpleasant. If people want to argue about his policies and his ideas for the States and the wider world that's fine, but would they have questioned someone else's nationally if they had been elected? I doubt it. It has a bad undertone to it.
~~~
Wishing you a week filled with inspiration,
The Spiritual Newsletter Team
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Spiritual: October 10, 2012 Issue [#5306]
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