  Spiritual
This week: How Have You Grown in 2013? Edited by: Kit of House Lannister  
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Was 2013 a year of inner growth for you? Or did you not progress as well as you would have liked? If it's the latter, I can sympathize...
This week's Spiritual Newsletter is all about the challenges of life.
kittiara
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Dear Readers,
I hope that you have had a lovely time over the Holidays, and that 2014 will be an excellent year for you, filled with happiness, joy, and creativity.
My Holiday season has been quiet, and therefore given me time for reflection. In just under three months' time, I will be 40 years of age. 2013 has been the year when I noticed that I am aging – some white hairs, a couple of creases around my eyes, and there are days when I definitely feel a bit creaky. It's strange, because a lot of the time my inner-Kit seems to think I am still a teenager. I have posters on my bedroom walls, cuddly toys on my bed, and the thought of brown nylons and a blue-rinsed perm fills me with dread. I do feel an attraction to sensible shoes and comfortable slippers, though, even when combined with a Midnight Cat onesie. And on those creaky days, I actually feel nearer to twice my age.
The thing I asked myself this year is – how have I grown? It's easy to determine this when you are younger. There is a whole lot of difference between when you're eleven years old and when you are twelve. All of a sudden you're in high school, and you feel all grown up. Then you're thirteen, and officially a teenager. At sixteen you're a young woman or man, at eighteen an adult and at 21 you think you know the world. At 25 you realize that, actually, you don't know the world and at 30, if you're not in a respectable career, and in a promising relationship, you begin to wonder where the time has gone, and whether or not you're ever going to figure things out. Or maybe that's just me, thinking I lagged behind societal expectations.
Now, at the age of 39, I find it difficult to decide if I have grown at all. I no longer compare myself to how most people's lives develop – I'm not married, I don't have kids, don't own a home, or even a car, and that high-flying career never happened. As my regular readers will know, I haven't even determined where I stand with my faith. In a lot of respects, I'm still searching for the answers. I may have become one of those people who's constantly trying to find themselves.
That said, 2013 has thrown a lot of challenges at me. I sat my first exam in over 20 years, and I passed. I found myself estranged from half my family, and learned to all the more appreciate those who choose to be a part of my life. I've had to be strong for myself and others, and would like to think I coped. Just a few days ago I had to ask help from a stranger – not easy for someone with social phobia. I'd done my shopping and when I wanted to ring a taxi, I discovered that my phone didn't work. There was no way I could carry all my bags to the bus station, which is a good ten minutes' walk away. Thankfully a nice lady not only lend me her phone, she also gave me an ice-cream whilst we each waited for our ride home. That made me realize that people aren't necessarily all that frightening.
Maybe inner growth doesn't have to be rapid or dramatic. Maybe it's the small things that matter. Perhaps steady progress – step by tiny step – is the way to move forward. I do admire people who thrive on life's roller coaster and who take everything in their stride, but I like calmer waters. Hopefully I'll look back in another 40 years and smile in the knowledge that I figured things out in the end.
Has 2013 been a good year for you? And what are you looking forward to in the new year?
kittiara
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Here are some of the latest additions to the Spiritual genre. I hope you will enjoy them  .
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The Spiritual Newsletter team welcomes any and all questions, suggestions, thoughts and feedback, so please don't hesitate to write in!
Ellery Irvin Bales  - Wow, what a deep subject! It is one of many reasons why I left religion out of my life. Do we really care if there is a heaven or hell? If there were a heaven and it was as great as some preach it is, then what would life on earth be worth? Would we not want to die as soon as possible just to reach the pearly gates and so called everlasting life? What are we wasting our time and lives for when the ultimate prize comes with death? And speaking of souls, I believe all living creatures have a soul at different levels of understanding. Have you never had a pet that made you feel like the two of you were interconnected somehow? I've heard many times how we are souls in borrowed bodies and time. This theory seems logical because we are not born as adults, there is an order that must be followed. We have to grow into what we become and during this growing period, there are many factors that effect and affect us as people. And as for the question of whether God exists, well it's just a matter of faith, blind faith.
You raise some interesting questions. Like you, I believe that everything that's alive has a soul. I fully agree with you about pets - I have felt close bonds and a shared understanding with some of mine. The theory about being souls in borrowed bodies and time makes sense to me as well, and it's definitely intriguing to think about it.
Your question about heaven is a good one. I have pondered this. As it is, I have no idea about what any afterlife would be like. I know what I'd prefer it to be, but that's not to say that that is going to happen. I can't bring myself to believe in a hell, though. That anyone should deserve eternal suffering doesn't make sense to me, because I think that even the most evil people are not beyond redemption.
~~~
Quick-Quill  - I can afford to be wrong. If there is no God, I have observed miracles, been comforted and supported emotionally by something that can't be explained. I've lived a wonderful life free from unhealthy habits an yet enjoyed it to its fullest. Since there is a God, I'm set. No worries and I have an expectation of a wonderful life for eternity with all those throughout history who have also lived and died for the same belief. I feel reading this NL (and I may be wrong) that there is some conflict between doctrine and tradition. I grew up in a faith where if you broke the tradition you broke faith and must do your works over. Sometimes others decided if that tradition wasn't upheld to its fullest. As an adult and a more conservative believer I hold to the strict fundamental doctrines of the whole Bible. I however do not believe my religion is the only one going to heaven and therefore I must accept while there is only one cross, there are many roads that lead to it and through it.
That is a wonderful way of looking at it. Thank you for sharing! You've given me food for thought .
~~~
Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk  - I actually struggle with this very predicament. I go to church every week with my wife, but I don't *feel* a divine presence the same way that she and so many of our friends do. And because of that, I often question what to believe. But I think Pascal's wager is less about being a true believer and more about your conduct during your life. I think if you act in accordance with the basic tenets of any religion (almost all belief systems are based on the concept of getting what you give... good people eventually benefit and bad people eventually suffer), and if there is reincarnation, or an afterlife with a God/Allah/Yahweh/Elohim/etc., the powers that be will look far more kindly upon people who uphold the spirit of their teachings even if they struggle with faith than they will looking upon people who uphold their name(s) while ignoring their teachings. Maybe this is all just my wishful thinking, but I think Pascal's Wager is more of a challenge to lead a good life "just in case" than it is to insincerely say, "Okay, I'll say I believe in God and that's good enough to get me into the afterlife."
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Jeff! It sounds as though we struggle with the same predicament. Whenever I have been to church, I haven't felt that divine presence in the same way that others did, either, and that also made me question my beliefs. I think, and most certainly hope, that you are correct, and that a higher power would understand doubts and struggles of faith, so long as a person is trying to be as good a person they can be .
~~~
Mia - craving colour  - Hi Kittiara. You ask if faith is a choice.
Many of us are born into a faith and adhere to it without asking questions.
This is blind faith.
Then there are those who've been hurt by adherents of their faith and end up rejecting it.
Faith may mean something different to everyone.
For me, its meant asking questions of the faith I grew up in and exposing myself to other faith traditions.
From there my faith has evolved into a more organic and universal form.
Do I believe in invisible Being? Yes. Do I call it 'God'? No.
Faith is not so much a 'decision' as something we make take for granted, reject, or re-vision through opening our souls to the energy that powers this universe.
Thank you for posing the question.
Imagine you'll be receiving many and varied responses.
I certainly have, and I've been given a lot of food for thought, which is great! I love it when people share their insights.
You make a good point about blind faith. Like you, I have exposed myself to different faith traditions, and entered many a debate with those who follow different religions, and those who do not believe in the existence of any higher power. Right now, I do believe in God, but I think that religious texts are a collection of writings that reflect the times, societies and political structures they were written in, so they're not necessarily the word of God, merely accounts and interpretations. So, I don't claim to know what it is that God wants, and, as you say, I guess I have revised my faith.
~~~
Zeke - Faith requires complete and total trust.
I think that in some ways you are correct - to have faith, one must have trust. Total trust, though? I'm not sure about that. I think that to question is natural, and even healthy, and this questioning doesn't necessarily diminish one's faith.
~~~
Prosperous Snow celebrating  - I think an unbeliever in God can become a believer, but I don't think it has anything to do with the person simply practicing the rituals. If a person changes his or her fundamental beliefs that is another component besides just practicing the rituals.
I think that you are right about that. If you're going through the motions and don't feel anything inside, it's an empty practice.
~~~
Wishing you a week filled with inspiration,
The Spiritual Newsletter Team
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Spiritual: January 01, 2014 Issue [#6081]
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