  Comedy
This week: Laughing At Yourself Edited by: Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk  
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"The wit makes fun of other people; the satirist makes fun of the world;
the humorist makes fun of himself."
-- James Thurber
Comedy Trivia of the Week: Many great actors got their start in stand-up comedy. Some familiar names that you may or may not have known started out in stand-up include: Woody Allen, Jim Carrey, Bill Connolly, Ricky Gervais, Whoopi Goldberg, Eddie Izzard, Eddie Murphy, Simon Pegg, Peter Sellers, Charlie Chaplin, Jamie Foxx, Tina Fey, Ben Stiller, and Bill Cosby.
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LAUGHING AT YOURSELF
One of the most important (and difficult) things to do as a writer or comedian is to develop the ability to laugh at yourself. By nature, we are prideful, sensitive people who want other people to think the best of us... but oftentimes comedy comes from a place of mistakes, embarrassment, lessons learned, and 20/20 hindsight rather than that place where everything we do works out for us. And since so much comedy comes from the observations after-the-fact, it's important for a comedy writer to be able to look at their own life and find the humor in things that maybe weren't so funny while they were happening.
I have a friend who fancies himself a comedy writer. But he's very sensitive about his own flaws and avoids talking about them entirely. He'd rather gloss over his own faults, sometimes even denying they even exist at all, and instead focuses his "humor" on pointing out the flaws in others. He never gets tired of parroting back a stupid comment you made, or reminding a group of friends about that one time you did something embarrassing. And, yeah, sometimes it's funny. Usually just the first couple of times, if at all. But after you've known this friend of mine for awhile, it just starts to seem mean. You begin to wonder why he's always up for a joke at someone else's expense, but is easily offended whenever someone tries to pull one off at his.
When you refuse to allow yourself to be the subject of a joke, there comes a point where all your humor stops being funny and starts being mean-spirited. People realize that you can't take what you're dishing out to others.
That's why it's so, so important for anyone interested in writing or performing comedy be able to laugh at themselves. You have to have a sense of humor about your own life, your own experiences, and your own mistakes if you expect people to appreciate the fact that you're pointing out the failings in theirs. The best comedians I've seen are ones that have elaborate sets that are designed not to make themselves look brave or smart or infallible... but rather the opposite; to make them look ridiculous, stupid, or deeply flawed in some way. It's those imperfections, and the audience thinking, "Wow, what a dummy!" or "I'm can't believe he did that!" that get an audience to identify with and appreciate the comedian.
Human beings connect with each other's fallibility. It's not Superman's invulnerability or ability to fly or super strength we're attracted to (well, okay maybe it is a little  ); it's his belief in the human race's potential. It's not Batman's wealth or gadgets that appeals to us (again, okay maybe just a little ); it's the fact that he's a flawed, frail human being pushing himself to do what's right in a world where he can be broken and injured and killed just like the rest of us. In comedy, as in comic books and in real life, the great stories aren't ones of people who make no mistakes and experience one success after another; the great stories are the ones where someone overcomes adversity or makes mistakes and learns from them along the way.
As you're developing your comedic writing, give yourself permission to laugh at your own experiences and your own flaws. Not only will it be a good exercise to get you to identify comedy in the world around you, but it will humanize and endear you to your audience so that they don't think you're just a mean guy (or gal) who likes pointing out the flaws in others.
And for those of you, like my friend - who are maybe a little sensitive and self-conscious about yourself, look at it this way; we all make mistakes. We all look foolish at some point in our lives (some of us at lots of points in our lives  ). Acknowledging that you to embarrassing things too doesn't make you a failure or a disappointment... it makes you human. Give yourself permission to laugh at the absurdity of a situation, even if it was generated by your own mistake or misconception. But, if you still can't quite come to terms with laughing at yourself even after a healthy amount of distance and time, consider at least not laughing at or poking fun at others... because there aren't many people who enjoy laughing along with someone who can't laugh at him or herself every once in a while. 
Until next time,
-- Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk
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Feedback from my last newsletter about "The Aristocrats" joke:
Elle - on hiatus  writes, "What you were saying, about verbal stories changing every time someone tells them, is so true. It's the hardest thing about trying to record and keep family history stories. Sometimes when you research the facts, you discover there's no way that 99% of the story could be true! While I strongly believe in preserving these family stories, there's nothing quite like hearing them from the source, with all the family gathered around waiting for the punchline they've heard hundreds of times before. "Tell us the one about the time you blew up the science lab, Poppa!"" (Submitted item: "Roots & Wings Contest" )
Quick-Quill  writes, "I love telling jokes and funny stories. My co-workers know if they have a funny I'll laugh as long as it isn't off color. I love a story that is true as life is stranger than fiction. My father has only days to live (this isn't a joke) and one of my favorite stories of his is a news article he carried in his wallet so long it literally fell apart. Short version-Two men driving a hearse from Santa Barbara to Los Angeles in the rain. Along the way the driver made a stop across the road from a truck stop. While he was gone a hitchhiker asked the other man if he could hitch a ride. The man said yes if he didn't mind riding next to the coffin. The man got in the back. The driver returned and off they went without being told of the new passenger. When the driver lit up his cigarette the hitchhiker, slid the partition aside, tapped the driver on the shoulder and asked it if it was ok to smoke back there. The driver went into the ditch. True story."
LJPC - the tortoise  writes, "Great NL, Jeff! You're right, if a writer's working with a more classic joke, adapting it to the times is important. I think comedy based on current events is the funniest and hardest to write. Luckily, there are a lot of famous idiots out there, giving comedians fodder to work with! ~ Laura"
brom21  writes, "Although comedy is not my forte due to the fact that I never really embraced, your advice helps me with my genre; sci-fi and fantasy. The part where you addressed making something your own reminds me of C.S. Lewis who took from the Bible and created the Chronicles of Narnia. I’ll be sure to take your advice and be inspired to write from another’s work. Thanks!"
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Comedy: February 05, 2014 Issue [#6150]
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